Workplace bullying

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NC for this. Long story short I am a team leader at work and one of the stuff underneath me spread some lies about me after being reprimanded for an issue by a senior member of staff. These lies were investigated and she was proved to be lying. She refused to communicate with me in work and was talking about me to other members of staff in a negative way. She then handed her notice in.

Following this, senior staff member decided to try to mediate between us where it was very clear he wanted her to stay working for company so appeared to be taking her side. She angrily said in mediation that if I said she was wrong then she apologises. To which I asked why she still seemed angry if she knew she was wrong. Senior staff commented that I had got the apology I wanted.

Senior staff member has now informed team that she left because I didn't accept her apology, even though she had served notice before this meeting took place.

This has caused me so much stress and anxiety I don't want to go to work, I feel sick about going tomorrow. I feel bullied and have been verbally and mentally abused but don't seem to be getting supported by the people who should be.

Any advice?

Sorry to hear how you are feeling, leading a team is so much harder than being a manager and I cannot see you were at fault actually you showed empathy by asking why she was angry.

This is what I would do - reset - you are still the person leading a team - ignore the "office rumours" - move on - focus on the deliverables - focus on you.

You have this, you can do this!

I agree that you need to focus on the job and move past this.

Being honest, the manager was wrong to say what they did, but I am really not seeing bullying here. Regardless of the past events and who was or was not at fault, an employee resigned in what appears to have been a state of conflict with their manager (you). It is the right thing to do to try to mediate that conflict - it has nothing to do with wanting someone to stay or taking sides, and everything to do with avoiding potential litigation. You both accepted that mediation. But it sounds like neither of you entered into it with the intention of mediating. You say she gave you an "angry" apology; you snapped back at her in such a way as to rub it in that she was wrong (whether she was or not is irrelevant - she apologised and your response was definitely a rejection of the apology). It sounds like neither of you really wanted to mediate, and also that the manager probably didn't have the experience to undertake a mediation either.

Being a manager means that you deal with difficult staff as well as good ones, and you have to learn to take them less to heart. People will accuse you of being a bully (and I will lay bets that that is what she did) and worse. It isn't pleasant, but it happens all too often and you have to remain calm, not rise to the provocation, and sometimes you have to swallow your pride for the greater good of keeping the engine oiled. Your manager shouldn't have told people that she left because you didn't accept her apology, or anything else about it. The mediation should have been confidential and no details should ahve been shared. But you also didn't accept her apology, and the bottom line is that she is gone and you are still there. Sometimes that is all you get from a situation, so that's what you call a win.

If ever faced with what you think is a non-apology again, the best response is to smile sweetly and say "thank you for apologising". Nothing more, nothing less. Meant or not, an apology is the verbal acceptance of being in the wrong, and acknowedging that without any further explanation or exploration is exactly what they don't want from you!

I feel for you.Ive just been in similar situation.
Someone spreading gossip about me and both co workers not speaking to me.!
Other person threatened to leave and both took absences which left us short staffed...
Stuck In a stalemate which is dreadful.I honestly have never experienced this so keeping my head done and just working.
If I were you that is what I would do unless you can find a similar job elsewhere.