Manager is setting too many unrealistic tasks

[Toleaveornottoleave78]

I have a manager who worked in the department next door, who has recently moved to our department. We all know her and know what she is like. She was apparently moved from that department because the staff just couldn’t deal with her anymore. Now we are stuck with her 🤦🏻‍♀️

Every time she walks past me she gives me an extra job to do. I don’t believe most of these tasks are even in my job description. I do most of these things for her because she will harass me and will not take no for an answer. I’ve noticed since she started a few months ago, I’ve not been able to carry out my day to day tasks and they are getting pushed to the side more and more because she keeps giving me more to do every time she bumps into me. I try to tell her when I’ve got a lot on my plate but she genuinely doesn’t care. I’ve explained to her for example, that if I prioritise this task then I will not be able to carry out my other task as I won’t have enough time today. Which one should I prioritise? She always tells me I have to do the new task she’s given me.

I am really struggling this week as the tasks she keeps giving me make no sense. I have had no training as is usually not in my job description, and if I tell her I can’t assist with something she will tell me to find out who can do the task, and that I need to make sure it gets done, I’m on minimum wage so I am not in any kind of managerial position to be getting anyone to do anything or overseeing it. I am finding that I have no idea who to contact or who can assist me, and I’m starting to think she’s setting me up to fail. I obviously have my day to day job and I already went to speak with her when she was new and explained to her that I’m not coping with the amount of stress, due to having so much work and so many different departments to deal with. I also suffer with anxiety and depression, I am very good at my role and I’m praised often. I’ve worked here for 5 years and now my role is suffering because she’s got me running around like a headless chicken prioritising things that are not my job to do.

I do have a job description however there is a clause which says “Any other reasonable tasks” I worry that if I sit down and show her a list of examples of extra duties she’s given me, that she will somehow say that it is my job role and will get around it. I can give a vague example…
My role is to do 1 thing surrounding a certain process. She will get me to carry out the whole process from start to finish, because she sees me as a weak target. Other staff will usually tell her no. So I end up doing all of it, and when I ask for help (because for some parts I don’t know what I'm doing as it is actually someone else's job) she shuts herself in the office or rushes off because she so busy. Speaking up will make my work life hell. Her boss is even worse so I can’t go to her about any of this. I’m going to have to hand my notice in. I’ve told her that I’m not coping and all she does is pile on more stuff.

I’ve tried standing up and refusing jobs, or pointing out that it’s not my job role etc. this just makes her dig her heels in more. I’m obviously not the only staff member going through this but I do think she’s seen me as a bit of a pushover. I’m trying my best to refuse her ridiculous tasks especially if it’s not my job. She then asks me to do it as a favour to her… it’s all getting too much for me to handle. I wanted to ask her a question about another job she gave me today (this job was way out of my remit and I shouldn’t have even been dealing with it as I’m not qualified to do so, I tried to tell her this but she ran off)… she said “Oh are you moaning again” I think that’s just done it for me to be honest. My previous managers weren’t perfect but they never would have piled all of this unnecessary work onto me. I was going through emails on the train home because I ran out of time today. It feels a bit like bullying but I know it’s probably not personal against me, it’s just the type of person she is. Like I said above, everyone can’t stand her because she is a useless manager and is nowhere to be seen when you need her. The second she needs something you are expected to drop everything. Those are the perks of being a manager I suppose. I’m very upset and I’ve got my own stuff going on at home. I can’t really quit right now but I’m worried she is leaving me no choice. I want to just get this off my chest and if anyone has any good advice I would appreciate it.

It might be helpful to try to document the extra tasks your manager is giving you and how they are impacting your ability to do your job. This could help you make a case to your manager's boss or to HR if the situation doesn't improve. You could also try talking to colleagues to see if they are experiencing similar problems and if there is any way you can work together to address the situation.

My manager does this for the last 5 years. There is another manager on our team who asked me what part of her role I do. I went through and he asked- so she basically clicks a couple of buttons a week?
Everybody notices and in my case I think I've been kept because I tolerate things but it won't change
You'll instead be pulled up for performance increasingly
Try and move internally or leave

That’s the issue she’s far too pushy. I could fight her on everything but I will be exhausted trying to keep up. I would need to document very specifically to raise an issue, which I don’t have time to do. I’ve raised issues in the past and have been let down and gaslighted every single time. There are certain parts of my job that have specific deadlines and I will be in a lot of shit if it’s not done. I can’t keep taking on extra tasks like this. I’m scared that if I refuse she will try to discipline me somehow for underperforming. If I don’t have enough hours in the day then what can I do??? It’s so frustrating. I’ve written myself a to do list for tomorrow and if she starts harassing me I will tell her I have a full schedule today and I cannot fit any other tasks in. I have mandatory training to do which runs out soon. I am not being given the time to study or sit the tests. This will affect my pay and any increments if I don’t submit on time.

Nothing to add but know that you're not alone.

I'm actively looking to leave. My workload has doubled over the last 12 months and we've just been given another project which will increase it by a further 20%. I'm working flatout everyday and dreading taking any leave as there's no-one to cover me. I feel burnout and taken for granted but there are no funds for extra resource.

I’ve written myself a to do list for tomorrow and if she starts harassing me I will tell her I have a full schedule today and I cannot fit any other tasks in

Give her a copy of your list, keep one for yourself. Say NO. & Stick to it. You're ruining your mental health for this person, who is only aiming to push you over the edge because she senses your vulnerability. Where will that get you?

What will happen if you say no, do you imagine senior management will rush over and sack you on the spot or something? I very much doubt that but even if that were the case then it'd mean it's the kind of toxic place you shouldn't be working in anyway. Go to HR, tellvthem what's been happening, show them your list.

You will not get anywhere by stressing yourself for this unkind woman. & ime unfortunately others won't support you as they're just glad it's not them being hassled. So you're going to have to deal with it.

Absolutely stick to NO, whilst simultaneously looking for another job.

Keep everything in writing.

Follow up discussions etc with an emailing to create a document trail.

Keep a timesheet of all work/tasks you do and how long they took. Colour code your actual tasks Vs the ones dropped on you.

First of all, you need to raise a grievance as per your company policy
before you do that, I would arrange a one-to-one meeting with her and explain what’s going on. If that doesn’t work then I would arrange a meeting with her manager
outline what is going on for you similar to what you have written here
if she has been moved apartment because of her behaviour, then I don’t see why you’re grievance wouldn’t be listened to
if speaking to her manager does not work then take this to HR. Do not handing your notice without going through this process -Why should you lose your job?
in the meantime, only take on tasks that you have time to do. If you generally cannot do these tasks, then say no and be firm with it and don’t do them, because if you continue to do them it will seems like you’re actually able to do the work

You said in the OP - "Other staff will usually tell her no. So I end up doing all of it, "

Can you just say no too? Or say you'll try to look into it IF you get time after your normal work (so not committing to it).

Time to find another job.
Taking in your manager is unlikely to result in a win for you.

I'm very sorry she's putting you through this. It's extremely unfair.
I would email her your own task list every morning and approximate time scales for the tasks.
When she gives you another task, email her again to document this. So forward the email with your own task list and then say something like:
Just to confirm, you've asked me to prioritise Task A - I estimate this will take me 6 hours.
Please confirm which of my own tasks I can delegate to complete this?
She most likely won't reply - however keep doing this so that when she tries to pull you up on your performance review (which sounds like something she will do!), you will have email evidence.
It might help to also try and say it in person, and put in your email. "As per our conversation" in case she tries to use the "I'm far too busy to read my emails!" bullshit.
Maybe also schedule meetings - meeting for training regarding Task A - especially if she's one to decline meetings. Keep those decline notifications.
It's even better if you ask her to email you with details of the tasks every time she assigns you one but she probably won't.
She sounds like a micromanaging bully, and the best option might be to leave but at least if you do find a new job and HR give you an exit interview, you can supply all your email evidence of the impossible work load, and give them ammunition against her.

This is awful OP, so sorry you're going through this. Frankly top management are to blame, they know she is dreadful so they kick her sideways with no attempt to stop her from doing this. Agree with others. Document everything. Speak to HR. Speak to her manager. If you're not in a union, join one quickly. You've got a good reputation at work. She hasn't. Don't let her drive you away. Good luck.

Say no and mean it. Look her in the eyes and say no again. She is a bully. Don’t be her victim. If other team members say no - so can you.

Perhaps as soon as she has asked you to do X, reply with "Can you then select which of these other tasks that you've asked me to do for you, you no longer need me to do as I can't do X while I'm doing A, B and C for you too. Perhaps you might get back to me on that one as I'm trying to do L, M and N for Mr Smith at the moment, the other manager."
Or something to that effect.

She is a manager. She should be managing, not constantly off loading or delegating to the people that report to her.

I would keep a desk diary and keep a note of what you're asked to do and when. After a week/fortnight/month put together a list of what you've been asked to do in the interim timeframe and have a meeting to discuss your workload. Yes you would be expected to do "any other reasonable tasks" but as there is a finite amount of time in the working day and you're already at 100% of your capacity in work, you don't have the capacity to take on any more 'reasonable tasks' at the moment. That's how I'd frame the discussion. Not that you're not working to your capacity, you are, but with all of the additional requests that she is handing over to you, you're missing things and the quality of your work is decreasing because you're no longer able to carry the work out to your usual high standards.

So… I have said no to tasks, politely explaining that I need to go as I’m attending a meeting with someone in literally 1 minute. Her response was well it will only take you 2 minutes. She will not take no for an answer. She’s told me to stop emailing her so much and now she doesn’t respond to 80% of my emails. Emails I send her are either in response to an email she’s sent me asking me to do something but not being specific. i.e ordering something for the department but not giving me any actual details of the product needed. I work in healthcare so I don’t have medical knowledge for certain items always.

I have every right to email her and it’s always something important but since she asked me to stop emailing so much I’ve tried to cut down. So a total lack of support here. She told me yesterday I was moaning again… which shocked me as I barely speak to her anymore. She follows me around getting me to do “urgent tasks” then because I have a question she says I’m moaning. FYI her boss is very intimidating and gaslighting. I’ve gone to her before about a couple of things and I left the office crying feeling like I was the perpetrator, when I was trying to raise a grievance about another staff member who WAS bullying me.

If I go to her boss I will need a diary full of incidents and date/times. It’s not worth it, if you work in the NHS you will understand how gruelling the process is. My one and only grievance took over 1 year to finish and the outcome was not enough evidence. This was with multiple whitenesses and an aggressive male member of staff. I had to continue working with him the whole time. It ruined my mental health. This is my own stupid fault for staying for so many years.

My husband and I are trying to buy our first property so I physically cannot change jobs anytime soon or the bank will not give me a mortgage. Apparently they need 6 months payslips from the same job even NHS. So if I got a new job which could take months, I will have to save 6 months of payslips for the application. I am going to apply for a new job and see how I get on with the house hunting. I know NHS recruitment will take a few months anyway. I’m also worried that if I just quit I won’t have the mandatory 3 years of references for the next job.

Another trick she pulls is she will tell me to do something and then run off… so I can’t answer back. I’ll try to briefly explain how busy I am and she will say she’s too busy to talk right now. Then disappears into the office or to another department. She’s so busy I can’t get any time with her to explain my workload is too much.

Every meeting we had scheduled has been cancelled at the last minute and rescheduled around 3 times before I’ve had the chance to get time with her. She offers me support in the meeting but then when it comes down to it she’s doing the total opposite.

Just stick to Nol. You've told her so the ball is in her court now if she wants to do anything about it. I mean it's not as if doing the tasks, even if you could, would endear you to her or improve your workload. You've already said No so just get on with what you have to do now. Call ACAS for advice on workplace bullying. Aside from that if you won't leave then you'll just have to get on with your work and rebuff her. The moment she says you're a moaner, turn on your heel and walk off. I bet there are people you work with who absolutely would not put up with her shit, so she doesn't attempt to bother them. Not saying it's easy, that's a horrid atmosphere to work in but if you stay analysing her and listing what she does, it won't help you. ACAS have a helpline. Call them.

Next time don't say no.

"Yes I can do x, what would you like me to deprioritise to make time for this?"

She's meant to manage. If you make it her problem enough times she'll hopefully realize it's not reasonable.

You have my sympathy. You talk about having a role in a process, so is there a work stream/project plan that you can show her to demonstrate that deadline x will not be achieved if you are derailed to job y? This may entail roping in colleagues who are in the chain of work to illustrate the ramifications of work that detracts from the process.

I knew this would be NHS.
In my experience they do not deal with this kind of bullying manager.
For the sake of your mental health OP I would prioritise finding a new job even if it means delaying your mortgage.
I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Every time she walks past me she gives me an extra job to do. I don’t believe most of these tasks are even in my job description.

she is undoubtedly an incompetent manager, disorganised and taking a spattergun approach. I bet you she's probably lost track of the tasks she's asking you to do, and I also bet she hasn't bothered to have a review meeting with you since she took over as your manager, to be familiar with your annual Objectives and job responsibilities and make any changes (normally this would be with the employee's consent if working to good practice).

can you set up a review meeting and go armed with the complete list of all these random tasks she's been throwing at you? You may also want to involve your Union - if you're a member - in a confidential conversation and get their take on it,

You need to make a paper trail

email her each and every time she dies this & blind xx to your own email elsewhere ti keep a copy of the email

state your not trained
state you have your own tasks

if she comments on the emails

jyst say I’m keeping a log/record

I once had a manager like this. My solution was to leave for a new job. It was literally like being reborn, it was such a relief to be free of her.

Other people chose to stay and fight, not entirely sure it was worthwhile but they did get rid in the end. But my list of things to do would be 1) join a union (she openly was afraid of the union), 2 ) keep a log of every task and how long it is taking you now (HR will ask for this, what you will find is that whilst HR look into this your workload may temporarily decrease), 3) Work to rule - no overtime, save your energy for your job hunt and mental health. You can't legally force people to do unpaid overtime especially if they are on minimum wage.

That is not my experience when applying for a mortgage, so it might be worth checking that with your mortgage broker. Then look for another job. It's not worth the stress.

What happens if you start to let some of the balls drop? Does she remember every minute task she sets you in a 2 second discussion whilst passing by your desk? What does she have to gain by forcing you, the person effectively doing her job, out of your role?

You've tried playing nice, tried covering your push back, tried the paper trail. I'd just stop doing her project asks no matter how insistent she is while looking for a new job. You already have a target on your back, there is no coming back from this. And if it hadn't been you on the team, it would have been someone else. But you cant let this wreck your mental or physical health, get out before that happens, even if you have to let the house purchase go for the time being until you can get settled somewhere more sane. No job, no manager, no project is worth your health.