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Work vs health vs family life

10 replies

Lookingforahappymedium · 22/02/2023 16:34

I really can't find a happy medium with a balance in my life and I'm unsure what to do. Don't really have any close friends who are interested in my woes, and DH just wants me to be happy but won't give much input.

I have a chronic illness, I'm forever exhausted and in constant pain, don't qualify for any benefits, I've already looked into it. I also have a young adult child with SN who cannot be left in the house by himself, and rely on my other DC and social care to help out when I'm working. I cannot afford not to work, even with carers allowance.

I was working part time shift work, but it wasn't working out, so changed jobs to one where the hours roughly suit but is double the hours and 5 days a week with no view to reduce hours. I've already asked and was told to look for another job if my current one wasn't convenient.

My consultant has asked me to reduce my hours, but as above, it isn't possible.

There is a job that has come up that is similar to my current role, only 2 shifts a week, but is night shift. I'm tempted to apply, but it's shift work again and means losing out on some weekends. DH isn't sold on me working nights. It would mean I'd be able to be around more when my DC is off, and not have to rely on my other DC to help out. There won't be much of a reduction in salary either as it would include shift allowance.

I cannot decide what to do. I do like my current job, the hours however are really taking it out on me. All I do is sleep in between and take extra pain relief on top of my normal medication as I'm in pain.

Any impartial advice welcome.

OP posts:
BannMan · 22/02/2023 18:19

Night shift is not generally recommended for people with health issues.
The changing pattern of being up all night and asleep during the day on the 2 nights you work snd then the opposite the rest of week will make it difficult to control your pain and fatigue and may well make them worse.

Lookingforahappymedium · 23/02/2023 08:47

Fair point. I've never done it before so can't really say how I'd be.

OP posts:
Springintoabetterlife · 23/02/2023 08:49

What job do you do now? Can you apply for different types of roles?

CrapBucket · 23/02/2023 08:54

Two night shifts a week and no drop in income - I'd snap it up.

Be really strict with yourself about getting rest on the other days, have a good routine - blackout blinds or eye mask when you sleep and get 30 minutes daylight outdoords as soon as you wake up (if its dark when you wake, get a blue light and have 30 mins of that).

RattlewhenIwalk · 23/02/2023 09:05

When you have chronic pain everyday life can be gruelling. Could you find a job that had shorter hours but daytime? Alternatively is there a way to reduce your home life load so you can get some extra down tim?

Lookingforahappymedium · 23/02/2023 18:39

I already work day shift, 6.5 hours a day mon-fri. No scope in my current job for reducing hours or dropping a day. My place of work is really hard to get in to. I was lucky to have got a job here and thought I could cope with the increase. I was wrong.

OP posts:
BannMan · 23/02/2023 23:53

@Lookingforahappymedium
If you have a long term condition you may well be covered by the Equalities act. This means you are entitled to reasonable adjustments in the workplace. This could mean a reduction in working hours or change of work pattern on the grounds of health or disability

Lookingforahappymedium · 24/02/2023 10:00

@BannMan I am covered by that at work, but I'd likely be out elsewhere with hours that don't suit. I am going to contact my union I think to see what they say regarding this, as I do really enjoy my job, it's just exhausting working full time.

OP posts:
BannMan · 24/02/2023 10:55

Good idea @Lookingforahappymedium to get Union involved.
I would also speak to an HCP involved in your care and get them to write letter of support regarding reduction in hours and why other shifts/off site will be detrimental to your health needs. Make sure everything is in the context of what's necessary for your health (not family commitments) as that's the bit that matters under reasonable adjustments.

Get a referral to Occ health and get them on your side. Provide evidence to them that your consultant has recommended this. Make sure everything's in context of being able to manage your symptoms better by working X hours in Y location

Good luck

rookiemere · 24/02/2023 11:01

It depends why your DH is against you doing shift work. If he's genuinely worried about how you would cope with it, then it's worth taking into account, if it's more about loss of family time or him having to do more parenting I would be less concerned.

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