I really can't find a happy medium with a balance in my life and I'm unsure what to do. Don't really have any close friends who are interested in my woes, and DH just wants me to be happy but won't give much input.
I have a chronic illness, I'm forever exhausted and in constant pain, don't qualify for any benefits, I've already looked into it. I also have a young adult child with SN who cannot be left in the house by himself, and rely on my other DC and social care to help out when I'm working. I cannot afford not to work, even with carers allowance.
I was working part time shift work, but it wasn't working out, so changed jobs to one where the hours roughly suit but is double the hours and 5 days a week with no view to reduce hours. I've already asked and was told to look for another job if my current one wasn't convenient.
My consultant has asked me to reduce my hours, but as above, it isn't possible.
There is a job that has come up that is similar to my current role, only 2 shifts a week, but is night shift. I'm tempted to apply, but it's shift work again and means losing out on some weekends. DH isn't sold on me working nights. It would mean I'd be able to be around more when my DC is off, and not have to rely on my other DC to help out. There won't be much of a reduction in salary either as it would include shift allowance.
I cannot decide what to do. I do like my current job, the hours however are really taking it out on me. All I do is sleep in between and take extra pain relief on top of my normal medication as I'm in pain.
Any impartial advice welcome.