Where do I start.


Love love love it. As do my children.

will never ever work full time again

22 hours.

perfect but I thankfully don’t have money worries, which I imagine would put a different slant on the experience!

I do 17 hours a week and it's fantastic. For me personally it gives me the right work/life balance. I'm able to spend a lot of time with the children, do 90% of drop offs and pick ups, take them to clubs etc. It also gives me time to take care of things domestically - laundry, cooking etc. Most importantly it gives me the sense of being on top of things, being in control.
I can do this because my DH earns a good wage. Everyone's circumstances are different. I'm very happy to do 90% of the domestic chores while my husband works. I know some women would hate this and prefer to work full time and share chores 50/50 with their partners. This set up works for us but all situations are different.

Just cutting one hour leaving work at 4 pm instead of 5 pm made a huge difference for me. I was able to do a click and collect on way home, miss rush hour traffic, get some housework done and dinner on in time for when my family came home from their jobs.

Bit of a daft question really, 99% of people would like to work less.

It's all about if you have another half willing to cover the cost, and if you are happy to put yourself in that position.

I have gone from two full time jobs spread over 7 days a week, right down to 24 hours over 3 days per week. (Dh high earner, but a relaxed paced environment).
It is utter utter bliss. The house is clean and tidy, shopping and diy done. Neither of us is stressed trying to do even the basics.
Yes my money has decreased, but even if I went full time in my current job, by the time NI, tax, pension, petrol, convince shopping/meals had all increased, add in the mental load and it’s not worth it for taking home £50 or less extra a week. (Because we all need to live with stressed harridan trying to have-it-all) That money is easily made up by a few less ‘treats’ and not doing extra things like Netflix/gym and birthdays/Christmas shopping.

I’ve cut down from full time to 3 days per week and also changed jobs from a very high stress one with a fair amount of travelling/responsibilities to a (lower paid) one that I can leave behind at the end of the day. The difference is amazing. I now have no symptoms now from 2 autoimmune conditions I had developed as a result of stress, I can fit in regular exercise and eat properly, anxiety is much lower, I’m able to see more of family/friends, I have more energy so can fit more into my days and not feel completely burned out all the time. I never want to go back to working full time, it was making me really unhealthy mentally and physically.

I dropped for full-time (35hrs) when I had my DC to 21hrs - I love it. Now both my DC are at school I have two days off in the week to do house stuff - food shopping, cleaning, tidying, gardening, DIY etc so that we can keep weekends as free as possible for more fun stuff. Plus it gives me greater flexibility with what clubs dC do & in the holidays we only need to cover 3 days a week.
I don't want to ever return to full time worker - at least atm the financial gains would be minimal when you factor in childcare costs in the holidays. So for now I'm staying pt & DH is happy with it too.

Having done it (I did 3 days) be careful. I always wanted the children to think they were with us more than they weren't (so 4 days with us / me collecting, 3 days at nursery). I cherish those days but I haven't progressed as far as I'd like in my career and my savings / pension took a battering. If you're considering it for mental health, could perhaps you could "outsource" some jobs (online shop, cleaning, ironing etc) to lessen the load whilst working? I hate to say it but if your relationship / marriage fails, you may be in a tricky position.

I’m the same. Dropped to 3 days after dc and won’t be going back to 5 if I can help it. DH is happy as I do most of the childcare/housework; he loves his job though whereas I just tolerate mine and there’s no scope for progression in it.

@Africa2go that is certainly one way to view a part time option. But I would counter with it’s also very hard on relationships - and can make them fail - by having two people working full time, who both get very stressed by basic tasks never getting done and consequently bitching to each other /never having time for each other /having unpleasant living circumstances.
Outsourcing (for us) would just mean even less money from me working full time and more stress in having to organise / coordinate a cleaner / handyman / gardener or whatever. Totally defeats the point! (Maybe outsource the relationship🤣)
As for pension - totally agree with you and that’s a personal decision. Savings have increased slightly as we are more mindful of spending now and don’t have to use expensive corner shops/late night garages for shopping. Because I have time - a commodity which cannot be bought back.
If you do want a career, then yes, working full time is probably the only way to get that ceo or head teacher position. But for a lot of us we are not aiming for that.
Life is for living, and I for one do not wish to remain living to work - been there and got the t shirt, it’s not for everyone.

Thing is… I actually enjoy doing grocery shopping, sorting out the housework, laundry etc. it’s just nice to do at your own pace rather than always show horning it between jobs.

I will never go back to full time

Would never go back to being full time. The difference means I can pick DC up after school. Huge savings on childcare and actually have a nice more balanced evenings, instead of being stressed but I work long enough that I do not feel out of the loop, workwise.

Really interesting thread. Thanks for starting it, OP.

I'm particularly interested in people's experiences of dropping an hour or so a day, as opposed to dropping a day/half a day. Have many people done that like @Mindymomo had?

It's a good point. It's a tricky one isn't it. I went from full time to full time but term time only as my job allowed (school admin) strangely enough with how holidays were worked out it wasn't a massive pay cut. The kids are obviously off with me in the holidays so at the moment (they're tiny) I don't really catch up. We are suffering with all the things mentioned on this thread, no time together, no proper time with kids in evening, house a tip, jobs squeezed in every spare moment don't stop til 9pm any night then up with youngest at least once. Really struggling to be honest. Have had a cleaner in a couple of times but a very temp solution, and are trialling a helper with the kids for a couple of hours every few weekends to catch up which I think will work better. Obviously spending less time with the kids then, but more quality hopefully. No family help at all, but I guess lots don't have.
It's difficult, my husband is by far the higher earner, I could ask to go more part time, even finishing an hour earlier would be great like a PP said. The loss of earnings does add up. We are both anxious people and keen to keep our pensions topped up well and I worry if one of us were to be unable to work as much due to health or whatever that we'd regret not putting as much in the pot as we are. I feel like at the moment we are just managing, I'd never go back full time, but it wouldn't take much to tip the balance. I'm hoping the bit of help with the kids will help.

To add I don't really enjoy the school run so don't feel I miss out there, I'm there to pick them up after their clubs later. They're so small I wouldn't catch up on anything if I were to do the run and have them home. Suspected neurodivergence with the eldest so hard work

Interesting thread. For those who rely on high earning partners, what would you do if they left or, God forbid, dropped down dead? Does your partner ever resent having to carry the financial load? We have always earned roughly the same (both like our careers), split all school runs and housework etc, so I’d find it very odd to become a housewife and rely on DH financially.

I loved loved loved working part time. Such a lovely work life balance when you have DC.

I had my first DC in 2015, and since then had been on part time patterns between 2 more mat leaves until summer 2022. I've done a fair few patterns between 24 and 32 hours, each had bonuses. At one point after my second mat leave when my eldest was at pre school some mornings, I worked 5 hours per day and that was lovely as it mirrored my DC's little days. My favourite though was working 4 days a week. The money was better as I did slightly compressed days and so wasn't far short of full time hours, but 3 days off when the DC were slightly older was fantastic. 3 days felt actually too short, like I didn't have a presence in the office, so in terms of balancing benefits, I wouldn't plump for that option over others.

I'm now full time but only because I work from home and have flexibility around school runs, meaning I get to be part of the kids' day more. My littlest is still at home and he can come and see more for a cuddle, have lunch together etc.

Working full time out of the home is something I will probably avoid at all costs for evermore. Or at least until the DC are in their teens.

I dropped from full time to 24 hours and to be honest I haven’t found that it’s reduced my stress at all. This is mainly because I now look after 1 year old DD on my days off and also pick 4 year old up from preschool which in all honesty is more stressful than being at work 😂 I don’t find I can get anything done really as DD is a whirlwind and I can’t turn my back for more than a minute without her emptying the cupboards/scaling the furniture/drawing on the walls etc. It would be a different story if I had time off where they were both at school/nursery but that’s a luxury that not many people can afford as you have the double whammy of having to pay for childcare and not be earning.

What about your pension, though? Do you feel your old-age security is in good shape?

I came on to say exactly that. I dropped to part time hours when the kids were little (which I loved and wouldn't have changed for the world) and then reverted to part time in my mid forties. I got a shock when I realised how much of a hammering my pension had taken though, so I would say to anyone dropping hours - be very careful and make sure that your household expenditure includes your additional pension contributions to keep them it at 100%. I'm now in my mid fifties and working flat out to make up the shortfall before I retire on what will be a good pension.