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Original poster

What went pear-shaped?

47 replies

CrackedActor · 21/02/2023 19:04

I've been with my current company for 10 years. In that time there has never been an opportunity for promotion. Two weeks ago one came up and I applied. It was an internal post, so only certain people went for it. I have been very happy in my job but recently longed for more responsibility (I previously had a more senior position but that's a long time ago...) I had my interview today, I know I did very well because I've been here before and I've managed a lot of change, several projects and improved (very drastically) team performance. I lost out to the other 2 people who went for the role - one has 25 years less experience than me and the other 10 years less. Neither have the senior management experience I have and one is being performance managed owing to unprofessional behaviour from an investigation i was asked yo conduct. I am beyond gutted. It's such a slap in the face given the very senior tasks I've recently (over the past two years) I've been asked to manage. I've tried to look for another post over the past year but have not managed to get an interview (mostly through agencies.) One friend has told me my age is certainly against me, another has told me that I should not have given up my previous (18 years ago) senior post - for clarification, I was in a very bad home situation, had a year old baby and little support. I asked for feedback on my interview 'your interview was excellent, just not as good as the other two.' I am so upset I'm not sure what to do.

OP posts:
ChampagneCommunist · 21/02/2023 19:23

Are the other 2 men?

Original poster
CrackedActor · 21/02/2023 20:52

No, both women.

OP posts:
JennyDarlingRIP · 21/02/2023 20:55

How can someone be promoted whilst under performance management?! A company who do that OP aren't people whose decisions you can set any store by

Brefugee · 21/02/2023 20:58

Work to your contract. Do not help them do management things, if you need help, escalate to them to do their job.

Ask the interviewing panel what their decision making process against you was and what you could do to get the position.

but keep trying for a new job. Your company sounds ridiculous

TellySavalashairbrush · 21/02/2023 21:04

It would make me want to find another job elsewhere. Unfortunately I think it’s all about age. My friend was in an identical position, they chose a 30 year old with hardly any experience. She’s in her 50s and extremely knowledgeable in the role . Very unfair . Mind you she had the last laugh as the other woman announced she was pregnant about 5 months after starting the new job. Wouldn’t have happened if they’d given the job to my friend!

EmmaDilemma5 · 21/02/2023 21:07

I hate to say it, and I may be wrong, but often it's just a case of your face doesn't fit. Maybe they just got a funny vibe from you.

When I've recruited, I've many times gone for the less qualified person because I think they'll fit in well.

It's not nice, because we think we should be judged on performance but everything else (and I do think experience and performance is really important) but ultimately, if they aren't sure they'd work well with you for whatever reason, this could be putting a stop to it.

Please don't take it personally, different managers look for different qualities, I've been turned down for jobs I thought I had in the bag and have gotten ones I really didn't think I would get!

Keep your chin up and look around; perhaps it's time for a change. Good luck!

Doyoumind · 21/02/2023 21:09

It's almost certainly your age and the fact it suits them to keep you in the role you're in. If you've stayed in the role for 10 years without promotion they may think you're low risk in terms of telling them to shove their job.

maryofthevirginkind · 21/02/2023 21:14

Can you ask for feedback and what was it about the successful candidate that pipped them to the post.

Original poster
CrackedActor · 21/02/2023 21:19

@EmmaDilemma5 , they know me very well and I've worked closely with my Manager (who I would be on par with) on very senior tasks, including investigations into behaviours - I don't want to say too much here- and I'm viewed as a 'go to' Manager for advice etc... my confidence is at rock bottom now, and, believe me, this is not me at all.

OP posts:
raisingthebarbell · 21/02/2023 21:21

Time to move on op - for whatever reason you were the woman for the job so use this as an opportunity to realise your worth and going and find it elsewhere. I stuck with a company for 11 years and did ok for myself but honestly think it stalled my career progression quite considerably. I get itchy feet after about 2 years now !

Original poster
CrackedActor · 21/02/2023 21:23

@maryofthevirginkind I did, but was told that their answers were 'fuller.' I, apparently, did an excellent interview. However, I am also aware my experience (I have done that role previously) is way beyond the successful candidates, both of who I know very well.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrackedActor · 21/02/2023 21:26

@raisingthebarbell I'm finding it difficult to get interviews at the moment. I'm 59 and live in an area of fairly high unemployment and the average salary is around 19k.

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 21/02/2023 21:30

Absolutely time to move on, am cynical but watch out for them expecting to take advantage of your helpful go to-ness and asking you to mentor the successful candidate. I.e do the job for them!!

Original poster
CrackedActor · 21/02/2023 21:33

@Doyoumind I think you are right. I stayed with this job because the work is great, it has purpose and the teams are great too. I feel like I don't want to go in tomorrow. I feel massively humiliated. I didn't tell colleagues I was going for the role. However, someone must have known because I received a text from another Manager on my level asking 'what is this company doing, passing you up? You are always seen as equal to (senior manager XX) and most stakeholders believe you are.'

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Original poster
CrackedActor · 21/02/2023 21:34

@MichelleScarn I have been warned this may happen!

OP posts:
Original poster
CrackedActor · 21/02/2023 21:40

Thanks for all the sound advice. I've never taken anything like this personally, but this does feel different and I think that is because I'm getting older but don't have a chance to retire early. I've never really not got a job I've been interviewed for before 2019 and I think my age does play a factor now. However, I don't want to spoil my very good career record. I'll play nice, not too nice, until another opportunity is spotted.

OP posts:
Mamette · 21/02/2023 21:41

They already have you doing management tasks as it suits them- why would they lose that resource? They won’t find another “you” to fill your role as easily as they have found someone to fill the management role.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I would look for a new job tbh. They don’t deserve you.

MichelleScarn · 21/02/2023 21:44

And agree with @Mamette, start having some batting away phrases to hand when they're next at you for wanting you to do the 'not acknowledged management role' tasks.

Original poster
CrackedActor · 21/02/2023 21:47

@Mamette I am a Manager. There is only another 1 above me, then the CEO. I also have more senior experience (and broader) than the person above me. This person isn't exiting the company, its just the job got too big.

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 21/02/2023 21:49

I feel for you OP as I'm stuck in a not dissimilar situation. Let's hope you find a job where they value you soon.

FightingFatAt49 · 21/02/2023 22:07

That's shit @CrackedActor 😔
Agree with PPs, don't give them more than your current role.

LegoGoldenDragon · 21/02/2023 22:47

I am increasingly convinced that interviews are only a good way of finding out whether a person is good at interviews, not the job. Looking back over my hiring lifetime, I have definitely given roles to people who show more enthusiasm, confidence or charisma and not to people that I have since worked with and realised they would be better. It could of course be blatant ageism too, commiserations OP.

500thousand · 22/02/2023 07:16

Interviews are the best we've got for trying to predict how a candidate we know nothing about will perform in a job. They are a very odd thing to use when you already know how someone works and then try to apply this flawed fact-finding process when you mostly already know the "facts" you are seeking and then pretend that you put all the decision-making down to the flawed fact-finding interview.

What feedback have you had from the agencies? Must admit feedback is a tricky thing in recruitment - in my experience, people say they want it but it can be very difficult to receive in a positive way, so we always deliver something mild and about something they could easily change, I'd love to tell them exactly what they did that meant they didn't get the job - but they'd find it too upsetting and leave them with a bad feeling towards the company - so recruiters tend to just give the old line you were great but the people were better.

Brefugee · 22/02/2023 07:31

When I've recruited, I've many times gone for the less qualified person because I think they'll fit in well.

lemme guess: they are always younger.

This happened to me one, OP, sort of. 3 of us were in line for a promotion, i got the best evaluation by a mile, already did lots of the job as we were expected to "do the job so we can see you're good, then we promote you" and had way more experience. 2 got it, i didn't. So i just, did my job. All requests that were above my pay grade? sent them to those two. All requests from above to do any aspect of their job - sent them to those two with the reminder that i wasn't apparently good enough.

And when they cocked up? as they did, regularly and in one case spectacularly (although on that one i did try to intervene because it really was spectacular, and she sent me away with a "i'm superior to you") -and i never looked back. I suddenly had a much better work life balance, made it to the gym, and so on. Clients always asked for me first, and always came back to me after getting bad advice.

Hold your head up high, OP.

LookItsMeAgain · 22/02/2023 08:09

CrackedActor · 21/02/2023 21:47

@Mamette I am a Manager. There is only another 1 above me, then the CEO. I also have more senior experience (and broader) than the person above me. This person isn't exiting the company, its just the job got too big.

Based on this comment @CrackedActor , I am going to think that you could have done the best interview out of the candidates but the role that has become too big for, didn't want to work with you and preferred to have your work for them (if I'm understanding where the promotion/role is in the company).

I would start taking a look outside the company you are with to see if there are other opportunities out there that you would thrive at and then hand in your notice.

While it's raw now, try not to let it get you down. See this as an opportunity to spread your wings!

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