Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Regret handing in notice

18 replies

NTT1986 · 17/02/2023 15:34

I have recently handed in my notice from a job I've been in for 11 years. I really like my job and I feel guilty for leaving. My current employer has asked me to stay and offered flexible hours and a very small pay increase and I said no but I'm now thinking I should have taken up the offer. Can I go back and agree to the offer or will I always feel disloyal and worried about my position? Has anyone done this? They are preparing to recruit a replacement, so they could of course say no too!

OP posts:
Kitfish · 17/02/2023 15:35

Go back and say yes. They haven't replaced you and will probably be delighted.

Passmethecrisps · 17/02/2023 15:39

I have a colleague who did exactly this. She negotiated a bit of a pay rise and the employer was DELIGHTED. I would suggest you consider exactly what it was that made you hand in your notice in the first place - will a small pay rise and change of conditions help?

pjani · 17/02/2023 15:39

What inspired you to quit? Guilt is not a reason to stay. Stay for yourself, if you want to, not for them. Always put yourself first in the workplace.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/02/2023 15:42

Why did you resign?

Ilikewinter · 17/02/2023 15:43

What was your reason for resigning? ..... is that reason still there?.

Could it be nerves about leaving what you are comfortable with OP?

Ansjovis · 17/02/2023 15:50

These changes that they're offering - did you request them previously and were turned down? If so, this is important. They've shown you that you need to force their hand in order for them to value you, therefore it's not genuine.

LookingOldTheseDays · 17/02/2023 15:56

Don't base this decision on guilt, base it on what you need for your future. And don't feel disloyal - employers will make you redundant in a heartbeat when it suits them, so you don't owe them anything.

  • Why were you applying elsewhere? Have those reasons changed? If so, in what way?
  • What difference will the flexible hours/better pay make to you? Enough to outweigh the benefits of this new job?
  • Are there good progression opportunities at your current employer? How does this compare to what opportunities might be on offer at the new employer?
  • Is one of the companies more recession-proof than the other?
MajorCarolDanvers · 17/02/2023 16:05

Recruitment is costly and time consuming.

They will most likely be delighted to keep you.

justasmalltownmum · 17/02/2023 16:10

Go back and say yes.. but really you can only do this at the same place once. Next time you would have to leave

2ManyPjs · 17/02/2023 16:15

justasmalltownmum · 17/02/2023 16:10

Go back and say yes.. but really you can only do this at the same place once. Next time you would have to leave

Yes, don't do it again! 😅

There's only one way to find out and I bet they jump at the chance to keep you. I've seen it happen a couple of times in my workplace, and colleagues have generally respected it more than anything.

Glitteratitar · 17/02/2023 17:07

Well really it depends on why you handed your notice in in the first place!

AlmostSummer21 · 17/02/2023 17:13

Yep, you've left out the crucial bit, why you resigned in the first place if you want a discussion.

BUT if all you want is an answer to your actual question. Of course it's not too late to tell them you've had a change of heart & you'd like to go back under xyz conditions.

20viona · 17/02/2023 17:17

I took a resignation back once it was fine. Saves them a job of hiring someone else.

1Wanda1 · 17/02/2023 17:20

Changing jobs is stressful. If you're already have doubts I would definitely go back and say you've reconsidered and would be pleased to accept their offer.

IconicKitty · 17/02/2023 17:21

You need to think about why you resigned in the first place. I was in this position once - my employer offered me a pay rise and a better job title to stay. I thought about it long and hard, as I did like the job itself, and nearly contacted my new employer to say I would be turning the job offer down.

But then I realised, a pay increase and a promotion wouldn't change what I disliked about the job and company. I knew it may make me happier for a few months, but then the same resentments would remain and I would look even worse / be awkward if I hand my notice in again 6 months later. If you chose to stay, you need to be committed to stay for a good length of time imo.

My new job wasn't perfect by any means, but it refreshed my mind and made me realise there's a world out there with opportunities. If the older job had valued me, they would have sorted my issues, promoted me etc before I needed to hand in my notice.

Oblomov23 · 17/02/2023 17:30

Of course you can. But before you do, why did you resign. You must address the core issues.

SisterAct123 · 17/02/2023 19:31

Why did you seek another job?

Flounder19 · 19/02/2023 10:58

I think it’s fine to go back and say yes. I am sure they will be pleased if they appreciate you and want you to stay.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page