Going part-time - pros and cons?

AbsolutePlonker · 2023-02-14T08:57:36+00:00

Mums, talk to me about going part-time. Did you do it because you had to, or wanted to? Did you feel happier? My husband and I have been taking off alternate Fridays with DD since I finished Mat Leave in July, but his work has gotten way busier so no longer an option. He makes more money than me. Currently I am full time but working compressed hours to get that one Friday a fortnight off. I would have to reduce my contract officially if I wanted every Friday off. We could put her in nursery for an extra day but I only make £15 after I've paid her fees so doesn't feel worthwhile, I'd rather she was with family. I don't LOVE my job either. But she is my 1st child and we are TTC, so it will impact additional mat leave etc. Would love to hear other's experience.

SnackSizeRaisin · 14/02/2023 09:36

Pros: more time with children, better relationship with children, can make a local support network and get to know other mums. The main reason for me is that young children under 3 prefer to be with a parent than a nursery. If a child is in nursery 5 days a week they are basically being brought up by someone else. The majority of waking hours should be with a parent or close family at that age, in my opinion

Cons: less money, career implications, staying home with young children is no easier than going to work, more mess in the house and more cleaning. We have very little money and a small house, old car etc compared to friends and that can be hard to come to terms with. The career implications are probably the main downside for me though.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/02/2023 09:40

For me part time working was perfect, I loved the extra day with my child.
Sadly it's not financially possible for me anymore but I think that part time was the best of both worlds.

PixiePirate · 14/02/2023 09:48

i work part time and completely understand the dilemma but just wanted to highlight something you said - your husband can no longer have every other Friday off and yet YOU will only make £15 after YOU’VE paid her fees for the extra day at nursery.

I understand that the money may all come out of the same pot in the long run. However, your career will always be the one to suffer if you apply that logic to the situation.

As I said, I work part time so not being snarky at all but you matter too. This is not your problem alone to deal with and decide on.

Pencase · 14/02/2023 10:46

If you agree to part-time working make sure you continue to pay the same amount not percentage into your pension. And your perception that you are paying for nursey out of your wage is not healthy.

Original poster

AbsolutePlonker · 14/02/2023 11:07

PixiePirate · 14/02/2023 09:48

i work part time and completely understand the dilemma but just wanted to highlight something you said - your husband can no longer have every other Friday off and yet YOU will only make £15 after YOU’VE paid her fees for the extra day at nursery.

I understand that the money may all come out of the same pot in the long run. However, your career will always be the one to suffer if you apply that logic to the situation.

As I said, I work part time so not being snarky at all but you matter too. This is not your problem alone to deal with and decide on.

Oh gosh I realise how I wrote that - yeah, we do contribute to nursery/bills/mortgage together, I guess it just feels like when I earn vs him (he makes about £10k more a year before tax) it feels like it's more important we focus on his job for the time being.
What doesn't help is my work is very tough right now, and I want to be with DD, so I feel I'm slaving away for nothing! However, I'm worried about the implications to my career in the future.

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Original poster

AbsolutePlonker · 14/02/2023 11:09

Pencase · 14/02/2023 10:46

If you agree to part-time working make sure you continue to pay the same amount not percentage into your pension. And your perception that you are paying for nursey out of your wage is not healthy.

That wouldn't be possible - my pension is 9% (work for a Uni so it's fixed at that!!!) and tbh it's already a huge chunk of my take-home.

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Original poster

AbsolutePlonker · 14/02/2023 11:09

Thank you!

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Original poster

AbsolutePlonker · 14/02/2023 11:11

SnackSizeRaisin · 14/02/2023 09:36

Pros: more time with children, better relationship with children, can make a local support network and get to know other mums. The main reason for me is that young children under 3 prefer to be with a parent than a nursery. If a child is in nursery 5 days a week they are basically being brought up by someone else. The majority of waking hours should be with a parent or close family at that age, in my opinion

Cons: less money, career implications, staying home with young children is no easier than going to work, more mess in the house and more cleaning. We have very little money and a small house, old car etc compared to friends and that can be hard to come to terms with. The career implications are probably the main downside for me though.

Thank you for your perspective! Yes, my DD is in nursery 3 long days right now (she has one day with my Mum, and as she works FT that's all she can manage) and I wanted to try to maintain a positive family-to-nursery ratio.

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2crossedout1 · 14/02/2023 11:16

For me, part time has given me a great work-life balance and I love the extra time with the DC.

My job is suitable for it because there is a good system of workload allocation and I am given proportionately less work than my full-time colleagues, so I don't find myself working the same number of hours and getting paid for less, but this can be an issue for some part timers.

The main down side (except less money of course) is that it does mean I'm the default parent in terms of childcare and looking after the home. I don't mind that as DH works long hours and pulls his weight in other ways, but be warned if it's a problem for you.

FinallyHere · 14/02/2023 11:39

That wouldn't be possible - my pension is 9% (work for a Uni so it's fixed at that!!!) and tbh it's already a huge chunk of my take-home.

@AbsolutePlonker

Please inform yourself a bit more about what is possible in terms of your pension. You are conflating what is possibly for your existing pension scheme and pension savings overall

There is a vast, vast difference.

Even if you do decide to take a step back from your career, there are ways to protect your pension. It might seem very remote not but that time will pass very quickly. Don't miss out on opportunities without even exploring them so you really understand the choices you are making.

All the best

SparkyBlue · 14/02/2023 11:52

Part time for me gave me a great work life balance. Both myself and DH were brought up with mums who worked so staying at home was an alien concept to us and I was shocked at how much I wanted to be at home with DD1. I initially went part time and now with 3DC including my DS with additional needs I'm a sahm.

Namechange13101 · 14/02/2023 13:23

I work 32 hours over 4 days (by cutting my lunch break to half an hour and over found that gives me a nice balance a whole day off to be with my 2DC’s and I only lose half a day pay. Also I’ve found that it’s been easy to balance my work load and don’t feel like I’m having to cram all my work into less days. Will probably change that pattern once both DC’s are in school but it works for us at the moment. Especially as DH is on a 6 week rota with different days off each week

FlowerArranger · 14/02/2023 13:28

he makes about £10k more a year before tax) it feels like it's more important we focus on his job for the time being

No no no !!

You've got this completely the wrong way around.

Because you earn so much less than him, you absolutely need to focus on YOUR career so you can catch up.

Weallgottachangesometime · 14/02/2023 13:29

I’m 3 days a week and it works for me. I like part- time because it gives me fewer days childcare to sort in the school holidays, enables me to do some pick up and collection from school, and means I have flexibility in my week if there is sickness. It also means I get a Friday at home while they are in school
to get household bits and bobs/shopping done for the weekend.

HOWEVER ( a big however)- it has come at the expense of my career prospects. I think I need to be honest about this. My husband is also aware of that being a sacrifice. we also arrange out money so we equally benefit in terms of payment in to pension/spending money/savings. I wouldn’t have gone part-time if I didn’t sort out the finances fairly and if he didn’t recognise it as a contribution that benefits our whole house.

Oncetheystartschool · 14/02/2023 13:31

I do 30 hours over 4 days, the main con is I often have to cram more than 30hours work into those days as some people seem to forget I'm part time or other people are even busier and its hard to say no to work sometimes.

Having at least one whole day extra at home is great. I've tried working 30hours over 5 days but I just ended up wasting the time off on chores or admin and the DC didn't really benefit.

If finances can stretch then I'd say 3 days working and 2 extra days off would be my ideal but we can't afford for me to lose that much salary right now. I'm waiting till DC are both at school and our childcare costs go down to try that!

Dacadactyl · 14/02/2023 13:35

I would go part time personally. I was a SAHM til the kids went to school and then went PT around school hours. They are now 16 and 10 and I really don't ever want to think about going FT, if I'm honest. I love my 2.5 weekdays off.

2crossedout1 · 14/02/2023 13:37

Totally agree with @Weallgottachangesometime that this will only work if your DH is completely on board, values your role, and you arrange things fairly financially between you.

skgnome · 14/02/2023 13:39

Having extra time with your kids, especially when they are tiny is lovely, plus you do get more things done (life wise) than if you only have the weekends and you can get a nice support network (with other mums)
however, it can also mean that the bulk of the life admin falls on you “gas man, book it on your day off” - “need to go to the bank - on your day off”
and working 4 days, sometimes means, you still do the same job you did on 5 days, and are only paid for 4…
carrer wise can affect you

ParentsTrapped · 14/02/2023 13:40

Depends on few things inc how generous your mat pay is and also how long ttc might take (how easy was it last time?) but I’d be inclined to suck up the cost of the extra nursery day so you get full time pay on mat leave for baby 2 and then return to 4 days.

Once you get pregnant you could use annual leave to take alternate Fridays off as probs won’t use your whole entitlement if you’re going off anyway.

Binfluencer · 14/02/2023 13:47

Whatever sacrifices you make your husband should match though, your career is not less than his. Others before you know if you have two kids, 'can't afford to work' and your career is screwed while his flourishes

GCWorkNightmare · 14/02/2023 13:57

AbsolutePlonker · 14/02/2023 11:07

Oh gosh I realise how I wrote that - yeah, we do contribute to nursery/bills/mortgage together, I guess it just feels like when I earn vs him (he makes about £10k more a year before tax) it feels like it's more important we focus on his job for the time being.
What doesn't help is my work is very tough right now, and I want to be with DD, so I feel I'm slaving away for nothing! However, I'm worried about the implications to my career in the future.

Show quote history

This is precisely why women of childbearing age are paid so much less than their male counterparts.

Original poster

AbsolutePlonker · 14/02/2023 14:23

Namechange13101 · 14/02/2023 13:23

I work 32 hours over 4 days (by cutting my lunch break to half an hour and over found that gives me a nice balance a whole day off to be with my 2DC’s and I only lose half a day pay. Also I’ve found that it’s been easy to balance my work load and don’t feel like I’m having to cram all my work into less days. Will probably change that pattern once both DC’s are in school but it works for us at the moment. Especially as DH is on a 6 week rota with different days off each week

This could be an option for me, my contract is 35 hours currently! I LOVE my fortnightly day off with the babe so I'd love to have it more often.

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Original poster

AbsolutePlonker · 14/02/2023 14:25

FlowerArranger · 14/02/2023 13:28

he makes about £10k more a year before tax) it feels like it's more important we focus on his job for the time being

No no no !!

You've got this completely the wrong way around.

Because you earn so much less than him, you absolutely need to focus on YOUR career so you can catch up.

I see that perspective. the only issue being I'd have to leave my current role due it being public sector with no progression, which would involve putting my plans to have a second on hold for a while. Also, my current role has good maternity pay and almost no commute!

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Original poster

AbsolutePlonker · 14/02/2023 14:28

Weallgottachangesometime · 14/02/2023 13:29

I’m 3 days a week and it works for me. I like part- time because it gives me fewer days childcare to sort in the school holidays, enables me to do some pick up and collection from school, and means I have flexibility in my week if there is sickness. It also means I get a Friday at home while they are in school
to get household bits and bobs/shopping done for the weekend.

HOWEVER ( a big however)- it has come at the expense of my career prospects. I think I need to be honest about this. My husband is also aware of that being a sacrifice. we also arrange out money so we equally benefit in terms of payment in to pension/spending money/savings. I wouldn’t have gone part-time if I didn’t sort out the finances fairly and if he didn’t recognise it as a contribution that benefits our whole house.

Yes, that really makes sense. I was hoping I'd only be part-time until my kids hit school.
My DH is understanding. He already pays a higher percentage of the bills. He is very supportive of me taking time out now and then ramping up my career when we no longer have pre-schoolers.
He really did want to be off with her, but changes (and opportunities) at his work mean he really needs to go back FT.

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Mumoftwoinprimary · 14/02/2023 14:41

If you are ttcing and get a good maternity package then it may be worth sticking with full time for the next few months…..

If you have a fun valentines night then you could be on maternity leave again by October! 😉