Please help me decide!

[kisaki333]

I have a 1 year old. I work in IT and my mat leave is just over. My current salary is quite high compared to the market average and I work in a niche IT area meaning not many jobs are available to pick from.

I need to leave my current work as they won't give me the flexibility i need and the commute is brutal (4h a day, 2-3 days per week).

I want to be able to spend quality time with DC but also do well professionally.

I have 2 offers on the table, both fully wfh, so no commute:

A. Very flexible on hours, would be able to keep DC in nursery only 3 half days if I wanted.

Lovely people ( i worked there before and kept in touch)
But, salary offered much less than current pay (by almost 25% less). I'd be going back to how much I was making 5-6 years ago.

B. No flexibility on paper, but they say most of the time we could arrange something on a weekly basis. Not sure if I belive that fully. Even if I do, it depends on current projects so no guarantee or ability to plan much in advance. I would have to pay for full or short days at nursery and hope I can take DC out early some of the days.
But, salary offered more than current pay. So almost 30% more than option A

What would you do? This is my one and only child, I don't want to miss a thing and want as much quality time with her as I can get. I think nursery is good for her development, but 6-7h each day is too much. Ideally, I wanted her to attend only 3-4 days, 4h/day. That's only possible with option A. But the money difference is huge. That difference could very well go in a savings account for her to use for uni/house deposit, etc.

I am so torn, it's ridiculous!

Is A negotiable? Familiarity and flexibility might be worth a financial hit.

I would go for A. Priorities change.

A until full time school

I'd go for A especially if you're saving money on nursery fees and commute

Not B, I wouldn’t believe their promises and work/ life balance is clearly important to you.

I’d stick with what you’re doing or go for A, depending on how much you need the money.

Won't you be saving a lot on childcare costs if you go for A? Have you factored that in?

I'd go for A and look for a B type job when your child is a bit older.
I appreciate other women will have different experiences, but I found my child's early years exhausting and working part time allowed me to spend some time with them whilst keeping my career at least ticking over. I'm not sure I could have managed full time work.
By the time my youngest was 6 I was happier to start climbing the ladder again.

You don't mention a partner in this? If you have one, you will need their full support (and to actually physically do things) to make job B work.

Go for A and look for something higher paid later on.

Thanks all that replied!

Yes, A would mean less childcare costs than B, but still B wins by about 4-500 per month... Also, if it turns out that DC loves nursery, I might end up paying for 5 half days, which is not much different than the short days I need with option B.

I am leaning towards A as well but I am nervous I am fucking my career forever and would put myself back years in terms of pay. Plus I am a bit more excited by B purely in terms if the role/work.

I think I’d go for A, it sounds on paper like you’d get another B type opportunity further down the line as you sound like you are good at a fairly niche role. So there should always be jobs along the lines of B achievable for you in the future. That way, you can hopefully enjoy spending that hit more time with your child and see how things pan out over the next year or two. Good luck whatever you decide :)

Also IME most nurseries charge by the day/half day, so taking her out early some days as you mentioned possibly for option B probably wouldn’t have any financial benefit (although yes you’d have the extra time with her). But you’d probably have to book her in for the worst case scenario maximum time each day in order to keep her place and then if you could collect her early sometimes, bonus.

Thanks everyone! Looks like the vote is unanimous for option A. A few years ago it would have been a nobrainer to go for option B; funny how priorities change!