Can’t tell if I’m being sensitive or not

[Allthebowls]

I started a new role last year. I’m an in-house lawyer but have been for some time however this new role involves changing area of practice. Although I’ve been there a short while feedback from supervising lawyers has been positive. It’s been a big change and my confidence took a bit of a knock as I suddenly felt like a trainee all over again. I find that I seem to be challenged more than others by in-house clients and they go over my head and it makes me wonder if they see me as a bit useless. I didn’t have this as much before in my old role and was very well thought of an in a fairly senior position. What I can’t tell is whether a particular few are justified in their push back or whether they actually just have it in for me a bit. I’m not usually so thin skinned but every time it happens I fell upset. I’m not being told I’m getting it wrong by the other lawyers so I don’t really know what to do. Has anyone experienced similar? It’s really getting me down.

I can't really give you any personal experience in the sense that you are asking it - and I suspect that only your seniors could answer such a specific question. But as someone who uses in-house lawyers and similar (i.e. the client side) I have sometimes found that newer staff don't always appreciate the different culture of our organisation, and that would be a reason for me to push back, challenge, or go over their head. When I approach our in-house specialists, they are a resource to enable my business to do what it needs to do. I do not want "this is the way to do it, full stop" - I want a strategy to do what I want / need to do. Their role is to enable that, not to tell me why I can't do it.

I am not sure I am explaining that very well. But if I go to our legal team and say that I need a contract that does "this" in "this way", sometimes I will get you can't do that. They are definitely right. I can't do exactly that. But I still have to have the outcome, so I need them to find a way to do what I need. Some of our newer recruits aren't used to that "can do" culture where their job is to find a way to do it, or as near as possible, and not to tell me why I can't do it. Does that make sense?

I completely get the point you’re making but I just don’t think that’s the issue and I’m careful to have aims and project objectives at the forefront of any advice and give as full a range of options as possible. On the few occasions where it really has been a no can do situation I’ve gone to senior colleagues to really try and kick the tyres and had their help to deliver that message if that is really where we have ended up. This afternoon I thought I might cry in a teams call as I was looking at stony faces, eye rolling and what was a fairly obvious side chat going on. It’s just on one particular project as well, on others it feels like a real team effort which is what makes me think there’s something not quite right.

Then I think that is something only your own managers can consider as it doesn't seem to be about the way you are doing your job. Have you asked them?