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Original poster

What to do when they are sick?

35 replies

JessEvasMum · 06/02/2023 20:36

I have worked from home since before my daughter was born but it looks like I am going to have to go back into the office soon. She is currently in reception and catches every little bug that runs through the school. Most of the time it's just a sniffle and she is fine to go in. However today for example she has been sick, vomiting, and running a fever so I've kept her home. What do Mums working outside of the house do? I'm not sure how I am going to handle days like today when I am back in the office.

My Mother in law seems uninterested in helping out. Rather than answering me when I asked if she would be able to help me out on days like today, as she isn't working, she just responded by guilting me about going back into the office. She told me how I would struggle to cope, that my daughter is too young for me to be working outside of the home, and how I will miss all her breaks and not be there for her. To be honest that just left me in tears. Not working isn't an option.

OP posts:
mrsed1987 · 06/02/2023 20:38

I take the day as sick

johsq20 · 06/02/2023 20:38

Tell my manager she's sick and that I'll be WFH as and when (nap time/evening) or just take it off full stop

Hedonism · 06/02/2023 20:40

Take the day off. You can't work and look after a vomiting child at the same time.

MummyDummyNow · 06/02/2023 20:40

I have to take unpaid leave. Its shit. But that's what happens.

FearMe · 06/02/2023 20:41

I assume if you have a mother in law, you have a partner who's also your child's parent. What will they do if your child is sick?
When my kids were smaller we took turns depending on what we had on each day, or if we had flexibility to WFH. Still do, even with teens.

MummyDummyNow · 06/02/2023 20:41

@mrsed1987 you take it as sick leave even though you're not the one that's sick?

TheChosenTwo · 06/02/2023 20:42

I get a certain amount of ‘carers allowance’ for instances such as this. Mine are bigger though, thought I’d have to use one for the strike day recently but my kids school was open as normal - only 1 teacher was on strike.
What’s your work policy on taking leave to cover kids sickness?

JizzlordTheCat · 06/02/2023 20:43

Given you have a MIL, I assume you have a husband?

Why isn’t he doing his share?

Why are you the default and your MIL backup?

IWonderWhyIBother · 06/02/2023 20:44

I know your MIL isn’t working but it’s not fair to assume that she would want to care for your poorly child risking catching whatever she has.
Up and down the country mothers and fathers use holiday, flex they might have built up or will need to work, take unpaid leave or ask if they can WFH. Are you the only working parent? If not, what do colleagues do?

slamfightbrightlight · 06/02/2023 20:44

I can WFH when they’re sick, or if they’re too sick and need tending to then I’d use flexi or annual leave. Previous employer has used discretion to offer paid leave. I’ve never had to use unpaid leave (public sector - appreciate I’ve been very lucky).

Noodledoodledoo · 06/02/2023 20:47

Share the days off with husband to cover. We have no local family to help out so its down to us. I can't work from home and have no annual leave to take so its parental leave, my husband can work from home a bit, his job doesn't lend itself to being done at home for long periods of time, but will take a day and do it when needed.

We try to do it alternately but sometimes one of us has to be in so the other takes the hit.

Original poster
JessEvasMum · 06/02/2023 20:47

@FearMe I do have a partner but he said he has no idea how it works with kids and missing work as I have always been home to deal with it. I'm originally from the US, so the idea of taking off when you or your child is sick and not being at immediate risk of losing your job is a new concept to me. When I was a kid we were basically left alone to fend for ourselves if we were sick which is not something I could ever do to my child.

OP posts:
greenacrylicpaint · 06/02/2023 20:48

when dc where at the 'catch any illness' stage dh and I tag teamed.
I started work at silly o'clock and we had changeover at lunch. this way we both got about 6 hours work in and neither dh or mine suffered greatly.

Pencase · 06/02/2023 20:50

You take a day's unpaid leave, unless your employer agrees otherwise - you are not entitled to sick leave as you are not sick.

thinkfast · 06/02/2023 20:57

You or your dp take a days unpaid leave. At my office we are allowed to either take it as unpaid emergency leave, or as emergency annual leave (paid).

Whendovescry03 · 06/02/2023 21:02

If you've been working from home up until now could you request to work from home if your child is ill? That's what I and the other parents do where I work. Our boss would rather people were able to work at home than take a last minute day off.

Coolblur · 06/02/2023 21:02

Your DP said he has no idea how it works as you've always been at home, but you have no idea either. Has he tried to find out how it would work for him?

Stroopwaffle5000 · 06/02/2023 21:04

In my organisation we have special leave which we can take to care for kids, elderly parents etc. If we have used up our allowance we would use holiday

Testng123 · 06/02/2023 21:04

Talk with dh and see what we have on...sometimes he does, sometimes I do, sometimes we do a half a day each.

mrsed1987 · 06/02/2023 22:35

MummyDummyNow · 06/02/2023 20:41

@mrsed1987 you take it as sick leave even though you're not the one that's sick?

Sorry I typed quickly without thinking. I take unpaid leave or I work on the days I have off instead.

I actually have also been sick the last 2 occasions at the same time so have taken sick days lol

IWonderWhyIBother · 06/02/2023 22:39

Regarding emergency leave, that is if you unexpectedly have a sick child or emergency. If they’re ill in the night or wake poorly. You say you kept her home today because she was vomiting so she’s already ill you can’t count it as an unexpected emergency. You’ve known all day that you need childcare for tomorrow and yet you’ve not enquired until after 8pm when presumably your place of work is closed.

WombatBombat · 06/02/2023 22:42

DS is two and we have no family nearby.

We both wfh and split the day when he’s ill. One will work 7am-2pm and the other from 12pm-7pm (he still naps in the day). One deals with breakfast and wake up, the other dinner and bathtime.

Jellybean23 · 06/02/2023 22:52

Lots of parents use up their annual leave allowance to look after the kids when they are sick. It shouldn't be down to just you, your partner needs to step up too. He's going to have to find out about taking time off, before the need arises. Pleading ignorance is pretty feeble of him. Sometimes, it's possible to make up the time instead of taking leave.

Minesababycham · 06/02/2023 23:00

I worked p/t when my DC were young so would either switch around my work days, use flexi leave or take annual leave. My DH would also take time off if I’d done a run of it or if there was something I really needed to do. We didn’t split equally as his job pays significantly more than mine and were much less flexible but he wasn’t reticent about helping and it was definitely good to share the load. It helps having an understanding boss in those early years.

Motheranddaughtertotwo · 06/02/2023 23:03

DH and I split the sick days, we alternate who has to make that dreaded call to their boss and take unpaid leave. I’ve also had to leave work a couple of times because of calls to pick them up after they’ve vomited. It’s shit but it’s most working parents reality. Luckily our bosses are quite understanding because we work our arses off when we are there.

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