Returned from work too soon from mat leave - what are my options?

[Autumnalsunshine]

I work in a very stressful profession, I have a nearly seven month old baby and a nine year old. I returned to work this week and I am struggling. My anxiety regarding my baby is at an all time high, I feel like I’m taking too much on at work all with strict deadlines and there’s general home/life admin. I’m working 4 days a week but will end up being 5 due to the extra admin piling up.. I’m feeling the pressure and it makes me feel like I’m spinning multiple plates but not very well. I know I need to see doctor reference anxiety but I’m just wondering what I can do with work.. can I tell them I feel I returned to soon, can I go back on mat leave? can I request an working pattern change again so soon? I could get signed off but I don’t want to do that I never take sick leave even when pregnant and it’s a job where others will have to pick up the work it can’t be left. Any ideas or suggestions.. my DH is currently looking after our baby 3 days a week and one day at nursery but he will soon need to return to work for at least 3 days or more due to finances.

No you can't go back on mat leave. You can request unpaid leave or a change to your hours, but if you've submitted a formal request within the last 12m for flexible working the company don't have to consider it in the formal way.

It sounds like work is expecting too much for week 1 back. Who was your maternity cover? Why is it so intense straight off the mark - was it always or is this new?

If you are back 4 days and they’re giving you 5 days of work to fit in, address this now.

You can't go back on mat leave once you've returned to work.

Your options are-

Make a flexible working request eg to reduce your hours (and remind your employer that workload will need to be reduced in line with hours)

Advise them you are going to take parental leave (unpaid). You have the right to take up to 4 weeks per child per year up to max 18 weeks per child by the time they reach 18. Your employer cannot say no to the request but they do have the right to postpone it to alternative dates.

Request annual leave - you will have accumulated it during your Mat leave

Request unpaid leave.

Go off sick.

I would advise that you go and see your gp asap and are open and honest with your employer about how you are feeling so you can hopefully work something out that works for everyone.

I work in child protection/court work. Its always like this to be fair. I should have expected it.. and they are taking it easy on me.

I'm sorry you're struggling OP. It's hard in the early days starting back to work. Go and see your GP first to get some help. One of my friends developed post natal depression just as she went back to work when baby was 8 months old.
You could apply for unpaid parental leave to give you but if breathing space.

I would then also look at your working hours. I'd always avoid 4 days. I know too many women who went back 4 days and are basically expected to do a full time job in those hours. Could this be the case here?
Could you drop to 3 days and make sure someone is employed to do the other days? I've found 3 days a great work life balance.

CAn I suggest that before you decide anything, you give yourself some time and speak to your manager(s) now. One week into a return is bound to be overwhelming, but making decsions that have a lasting impact right now may mean you rush into a mistake. Your manager ought to be able to support you with temporary measures - possibly a phased return, for example - and with workload management. After maternity leave you do have your head in a different place, and you need to give yourself some time to readjust. Then make decisions at a later stage when you have a better grasp of things.

Thank you all, I’m going to speak to work first and just be honest regarding how I am feeling and go from there!

DS is 10 now but both me & my boss who I had a great relationship with were incredibly shocked at how difficult I found the transition back to work after mat leave.

I remember telling my friend I just felt like I was in that party game where they put a blindfold on you and spin you round. I felt like that for ages.

You basically have to relearn your job again now but doing everything effectively with one hand tied behind your back - you can't just go in early to get caught up, if you need to stay late you have to plan it around dc's and there's so much to catch up on after a long break.

I would say talk to your boss, tell them there is too much and be realistic about what you can achieve in a week. The problem with working part time (esp 4 days) is there is a tendency to expect 5 days work in 4 but you were probably working at an incredibly fast pace before, knew all the cases, all the people, had plans for each case etc in your head already. You don't have any of that again yet.

As a manager I respect the people who come to me & say there is a problem & I can work with them to find a solution (I usually know and am trying to sort something out anyway). It's so much harder when I don't know or someone doesn't tell me until the wheels are starting to come off as then I have to drop everything to help sort it out. It's still my job at the end of the day but easier if people are honest & realistic and you can do it in sensible time rather than as a "distress purchase" type situation.

You do have to be very clear and very firm though. My team usually are. I've learnt from them to do the same with my boss (she doesn't like it at all but I do it anyway)

Good luck with it all xx

Is your DH on shared parental leave? If he is, you potentially could return to maternity leave/shared parental leave. If not then you wouldn't be able to unfortunately. You would need to investigate other options. Although if you have only just returned, it should get a bit easier soon.

If you work for the local authority they will likely have longer term unpaid parental leave that you can apply for for up to 2 years.

As a fellow social worker in child protection and court it should not be norm to have this level of stress. It's not ok especially when you have just returned from maternity leave. You absolutely should not be working 5 days a week but only contracted to 4 - can you book in protected time during your core hours to work undisturbed? Leave your laptop in work so you aren't tempted to work from home? I would meet with my manager and sit down and go through which parts of the work load are unrealistic and get them to take work from you. Sorry you are feeling like this x

One of my clients came back from mat leave and then went back off again as she'd realized it was too soon - I'm unsure of how it worked, but it might be down to your work's flexibility/sympathy as to whether theyd be happy to grant you the ability to go back on leave?

Sympathies, OP: I'm due to return to work in July (gave birth in December) and i'm already dreading it and thinking it'll be far too soon.