Career or availability for kids

Elevenerife · 2023-02-04T09:22:30+00:00

Hey, I appreciate any thoughts you may all have. I am currently in a work place where there is a lot of potential for growth and career development. I work in ' low to middle management' right now. I do not have higher education, so I have relied on experience and opportunities to get where I am right now. I am currently very overworked and underpaid for what I do, though this is currently being reviewed by my manager. I also have a lot of conflict with another staff member who I have to work directly with, which I find very hard not to bring home with me and carry. It's got too much for me this week and I am on my knees with it all. I want a better work life balance and I am considering leaving. There is a potential for something different which would suit me and my family life perfectly, but it is a drop down in status and halving my salary (pensions,NI to consider). I'm looking for advice and maybe stories of people in a similar situation and how it worked out for you?

Original poster

Elevenerife · 04/02/2023 09:24

Plus the other opportunity does not have potential for growth or development, but would be consistent and a more nurturing environment.

OP posts:

KangarooKenny · 04/02/2023 09:26

I think it depends upon the ages of any kids. I preferred flexible PT work while they were at school and took the pay cut for it.

Tangerinie · 04/02/2023 09:36

I am job hunting ATM and flexibility is my priority, as DCs are small.

I was already on a low salary as an LSA in a secondary school which seemed to be worth it as I got the school holidays off. But actually, it was so inflexible that it didn't work out to be all that helpful. I couldn't WFH for example if one of the DCs was sick and I couldn't have an afternoon off to go to sports days etc.

I think though, the main reason I left was I wasn't enjoying my job anymore and the school holidays were no compensation for that.

So, I can see the argument for not giving up too much to be available for your children (this is what I was doing by staying in a job I didn't like so I'd always be around in the holidays). But at the same time, flexible working is worth its weight in gold if it means you can write your own schedule around DCs. Also, you seen stressed by your job, so it isn't as if you'd be giving up something you loved.

I do see your point about the finances, and that's quite a personal decision. You need a pension etc, but does it have to be the one you have with your current job?

BlueKaftan · 04/02/2023 09:43

I think many businesses want management to have university degrees so if you have been able to get your foot in the door without one then hold on to it. If you can possibly wait for a while longer and see what your boss proposes in terms of a pay raise?

Original poster

Elevenerife · 04/02/2023 09:55

BlueKaftan · 04/02/2023 09:43

I think many businesses want management to have university degrees so if you have been able to get your foot in the door without one then hold on to it. If you can possibly wait for a while longer and see what your boss proposes in terms of a pay raise?

This is what my worry is. If I leave this place now, will I ever get another opportunity like this one where I have proven myself.

OP posts:

Original poster

Elevenerife · 04/02/2023 09:57

Tangerinie · 04/02/2023 09:36

I am job hunting ATM and flexibility is my priority, as DCs are small.

I was already on a low salary as an LSA in a secondary school which seemed to be worth it as I got the school holidays off. But actually, it was so inflexible that it didn't work out to be all that helpful. I couldn't WFH for example if one of the DCs was sick and I couldn't have an afternoon off to go to sports days etc.

I think though, the main reason I left was I wasn't enjoying my job anymore and the school holidays were no compensation for that.

So, I can see the argument for not giving up too much to be available for your children (this is what I was doing by staying in a job I didn't like so I'd always be around in the holidays). But at the same time, flexible working is worth its weight in gold if it means you can write your own schedule around DCs. Also, you seen stressed by your job, so it isn't as if you'd be giving up something you loved.

I do see your point about the finances, and that's quite a personal decision. You need a pension etc, but does it have to be the one you have with your current job?

I hear all of this you're saying.

It's so hard to want it all and have to make a sacrifice somewhere.

OP posts:

LolaSmiles · 04/02/2023 10:02

Could you put in a flexible working request at your current employer and see if they could also explore some CPD training or a secondment to the next level up to develop your skills.

If you're wanting to progress then you will need to develop some boundaries on what you bring home mentally. It took me longer than ideal to put it in place, but doing it was a game changer.

Slobbet · 04/02/2023 10:07

I did this (job change, drop down in status and pay) and it’s been very positive for my family, my self care, my happiness, my stress levels and work enjoyment. I also have quality time with friends, which is far better then any talking therapy. I see the job change as part of a general change of work direction and I fully expect to re-climb the sticky pole of responsibility when the kids are a bit older. I don't believe a degree is necessary in many work environments, however I’d recommend undertaking an NVQ qualification (usually one day a week). NVQs are specialised and can be a range of levels - postgraduate, HND or gcse

Slobbet · 04/02/2023 10:30

The negatives - less money! Also it took me a while to process the change in status and to rebuild my self worth in my new humble job role. I did my previous job extremely well and the change in responsibility was dramatic but I also do my new job extremely well and can see career development ahead with my new company. Importantly the company I now work for aligns with my own personal ethos (more nurturing, caring, better listening skills, thoughtful better management) and I feel valued rather then used, underpaid and taken forgranted.

Original poster

Elevenerife · 04/02/2023 12:24

Slobbet · 04/02/2023 10:30

The negatives - less money! Also it took me a while to process the change in status and to rebuild my self worth in my new humble job role. I did my previous job extremely well and the change in responsibility was dramatic but I also do my new job extremely well and can see career development ahead with my new company. Importantly the company I now work for aligns with my own personal ethos (more nurturing, caring, better listening skills, thoughtful better management) and I feel valued rather then used, underpaid and taken forgranted.

This is so helpful and insightful. I think this is exactly where I am right now and to me the cost of my current work place does not feel justified.

I appreciate you taking the time to share this. Thank you.

OP posts:

Slobbet · 04/02/2023 22:09

Elevenerife · 04/02/2023 12:24

This is so helpful and insightful. I think this is exactly where I am right now and to me the cost of my current work place does not feel justified.

I appreciate you taking the time to share this. Thank you.

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easy to feel stuck in a toxic job, run ragged and not wanting to let people down. Seems a quick road to depression, joyless working hours and poor work life balance. The wave of relief handing in your notice will be quite telling however. Remember the skills and experience you’ve gained can be utilised again in the future. Reflecting, reassessing and reordering priorities, making changes is far healthier then blindly marching on.

yoshiblue · 04/02/2023 22:43

How old are your children? That is an important factor to drive your decision.

I would personally look at wider opportunities. There must be other options that wouldn't half your salary? Have you spent time thinking about what you want to do next, or is this first job alternative you've come across?