Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Rant - Hate My Job But Love The Flexibility!

11 replies

LillieFox · 02/02/2023 11:43

A bit of background info…

I used to work as PA/HR Manager full time in a vibrant office.

Had my first child several years ago now and there was no way I could return to my role, it was very long hours and so my boss and I decided that I would work part time from home fully flexible managing his large personal property portfolio. Back then this was the perfect solution as it allowed me to be available for my kid (now kids) at any time and I could make my work work around them.

Roll onto now, I now have 2 kids and still do the flexible role, BUT…I absolutely hate the job!

I literally love the flexibility and I see so many parents struggling to manage school runs/nursery runs, attending school plays etc so for that side of my job, I literally am so lucky and I have to keep telling myself that I wouldn’t find the flexibility anywhere else. But as much as I know this, I still can’t actually bare the job itself to the point where I’m losing sleep overnight trying to come up with a solution.

No solutions found though except to just tell myself to shut up and get on with it because I can’t get that flexibility anywhere else. I feel totally trapped for this reason though.

The fully flexible job has cons too because everyone thinks it’s acceptable to message you at all sorts of times and where it’s a reactive job, I can never just switch off from my job. I’m always having to react and so I find it so draining.

I have absolutely no support with my kids during the week. My husband works full time and really long hours, so effectively during the week it’s like being a single parent in terms of managing the kids’ day. I would love nothing more to leave my job and get another job somewhere else but I can only work between 9.30am and 2.15pm before having to do nursery run and school run. Nursery is a pre school term time only setting so similar hours to school and have no aftercare option. My child loves going there.

And then even if I was to get another job somewhere else, how would I manage all the school holidays? At the moment, I work around the kids and tend to catch up with my work evenings/weekends.

I just wondered if anyone else was in this position or has been in a similar position and if doing anything differently helped. Or if anyone has any advice. I know I’m sounding like I have the dream job in terms of flexibility and I should just stop moaning, but I honestly hate the role. It’s eating away at me but how can I leave it and manage life???

I have a very supportive husband, but when I mention how I feel about my job, he just says I can’t really do anything about it as I need the flexibility and I won’t get that anywhere else.

Thanks for anyone who has taken the time to read this.

OP posts:
iwasthewalrus · 02/02/2023 13:00

When does your youngest DC start school? Can you stick it out until then, and at that point get another job and use after school care and holiday clubs?

If you really want to leave now then you’d need to use wrap around care and holiday clubs for the school age children and a day-nursery which is open year round for the pre-schooler(s).

MontyK · 02/02/2023 13:06

What is it about the job that you hate so much? Is it mundane, boring, repetitive etc?

bobby81 · 02/02/2023 13:15

I'm in the same position in that I hate my job but I stay there because of the flexibility, good pension, short commute etc. Ideally I'd stay another 5 years until youngest dc has left school but I really don't think my mental health can take it. I'm scared to leave in case I hate the next job..... at least with this one there are some positives. It's silly really because I know I should just leave & find something I enjoy. My problem is lack of confidence & over thinking everything I guess.
Sorry no real advice but solidarity!

LillieFox · 02/02/2023 13:33

Youngest doesn’t start Reception until September 2024! Such a long time and I’ve already changed his nursery once due to the first one not being great. He loves his new nursery now so reluctant to do a further change for now.

OP posts:
LillieFox · 02/02/2023 13:38

Job is reactive so I can never escape it. Some people have zero respect for when they feel is a good time to send non urgent work. As an example, I’ve spent most my weekend just gone dealing with a really angry tenant which could have been dealt with that week but he’s waited until the weekend and has hounded me. An issue out of my control too but obviously one that I can assist him with. I also had 36 WhatsApp messages (pictures of properties) sent to me from my boss Thursday night. And a text at 7am from my boss on Sunday morning just to do with something to do with window cleaning. Not urgent.

All of the contractors are so super busy that no one gets back to me to carry out works so I constantly feel like I hit brick walls.

My boss barely ever gets back to me.

I don’t particularly enjoy the job, it wasn’t my original role, I took it out of convenience for the flexibility. It’s not what I want to do long term.

OP posts:
LillieFox · 02/02/2023 13:41

I’m sorry to hear you are in the same boat. It’s a tough one isn’t it and one minute I tell myself to just get on with it and the next minute I’m telling myself I’m so unhappy in my job and it’s not good; something needs to change. But I just don’t know which way to go for the best.
Hope you manage to resolve your scenario and thanks for reaching out!

OP posts:
LillieFox · 02/02/2023 13:42

That was supposed to say 36 WhatsApp messages from my boss on Thursday night at 11pm!

OP posts:
MontyK · 02/02/2023 14:20

Yeah that sounds shit, it's all very well to have flexibility but it sounds like you're on call 24/7.

Definitely look for something else.

SnarkyBag · 02/02/2023 15:06

My job is pretty flexible with the added bonus of actually quite liking it. I still find that the sacrifice that comes with such flexibility is never being properly “off”. That said I think you can definitely filter things into “can wait until Monday for a response” I’m happy to do admin and reports on evenings and weekends but communications I try to keep to business hours only (unless it suits my workload some how!)

Blueberrywitch · 02/02/2023 15:16

I think it was great that your boss was able to offer you this flexible alternative but I think you should perhaps dial back the gratefulness that it’s so flexible. It’s not a hand out, you are a professional doing a very valuable role and lots of jobs are flexible these days. Is the gratefulness you feel potentially stopping you from dressing the 24/7 aspect of the role?

Are you able to sit down with your boss and perhaps suggest having a seperate work phone and some boundaries around when you will check it? IE it doesn’t get turned on until 9am and you send any tenants messaging over the weekend get a standard out of office message to say thank you for the message and it will be responded to during working hours on Monday?

Only your boss gets your WhatsApp that you check at all times and get an agreement from him that he only uses that outside of your office hours for actual emergencies.

I am quite sure your boss would rather keep you for a few more years and stick to some reasonable working hour boundaries rather than lose you and your expertise!

sosickofthisshit · 02/02/2023 16:47

Have you thought about the civil service? Very flexible in terms of working times. In my department many of my colleagues log off to do school runs and just make the time up later

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread