More WFH due to pregnancy?

May28 · 2023-01-31T21:04:49+00:00

Hi everyone I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant working full time and have told my employer about my pregnancy a few weeks ago. We’re required to work 3x in the office (policy) and the commute to work is getting very tiring (and packed!) as it takes me about an hour to get in. Now I’m thinking of asking to come into the office less, maybe once a week. I’m just not sure how to go about it. Shall I just say that it’s straining and that I’m also worried about getting sick and request it or what would be the best way to go about it? Advice would be much appreciated xx

MortimerTheCat · 31/01/2023 21:07

just be honest and ask. I am a manager, and have made adjustments before for pregnant ladies in my team. I’d rather that they were WFH, than not working as they were struggling. Do you think your manager will be open to the idea?

Original poster

May28 · 31/01/2023 21:29

Thanks for replying 🤗 I’m not sure as they’re very strict about us being in 3x a week. But I’ll ask and hope for the best!

OP posts:

Original poster

May28 · 31/01/2023 21:31

MortimerTheCat · 31/01/2023 21:07

just be honest and ask. I am a manager, and have made adjustments before for pregnant ladies in my team. I’d rather that they were WFH, than not working as they were struggling. Do you think your manager will be open to the idea?

Thanks for replying 🤗 I’m not sure as they’re very strict about us being in 3x a week. But I’ll ask and hope for the best!

OP posts:

Quveas · 01/02/2023 03:19

Please don't say that the commute is packed (is it only packed when people are pregnant?) or that you might get sick (again, do only pregnant people get sick? ). You are pregnant, not sick or incapable. It doesn't help women generally to give the impression that you need better conditions than everyone else just because you are pregnant. What you need to do is consider what exactly you are asking for and why this will enable you t
o do a better job, and how this will benefit the employer as well as you. This isn't about me being unsympathetic, but about the fact that for yourself, and for women, you need to be showing that pregnancy isn't about expecting special treatment. The better the case you offer, the more chance you have of getting an agreement or a compromise.

nobodygirl2023 · 01/02/2023 03:56

You could say this is part of workplace adjustment they are required to offer as part of risk assessment in pregnancy.

I had pelvic girdle pain so worked from home more often for that reason - I also said i wanted to avoid covid & other winter bugs on the commute and that was accepted as a valid reason.

Depends on your relationship with your manager etc. Just say your starting to get a bit knackered and would help to cut down on the commute a bit. Could gradually decrease as weeks go on.

nobodygirl2023 · 01/02/2023 04:04

Quveas · 01/02/2023 03:19

Please don't say that the commute is packed (is it only packed when people are pregnant?) or that you might get sick (again, do only pregnant people get sick? ). You are pregnant, not sick or incapable. It doesn't help women generally to give the impression that you need better conditions than everyone else just because you are pregnant. What you need to do is consider what exactly you are asking for and why this will enable you t
o do a better job, and how this will benefit the employer as well as you. This isn't about me being unsympathetic, but about the fact that for yourself, and for women, you need to be showing that pregnancy isn't about expecting special treatment. The better the case you offer, the more chance you have of getting an agreement or a compromise.

You do realise that getting sick (ie. Covid for example) can be more serious in pregnancy (esp in 3rd trimester) due to pressure on immune system? So no, pregnant people aren't only ones to get unwell but you can be more vulnerable to certain things. It's not about appearing sick or incapable - just about taking care of yourself as much as possible which will mean different things for different people

I call BS on the whole "do this for women" - powering through when you don't feel upto it and there's reasonable adjustments that can be made does NOTHING for other women other than make others feel inadequate when they don't feel like they can do the same, or feel more vulnerable (which many do during pregnancy - it's not weird or weak - it just is for some people)..

KendrickLamaze · 01/02/2023 04:08

The harsh reality is that it depends on

Your relationship with your manager
If you're seen as a piss taker that is using this as an excuse - possibly even yet another excuse
The culture of your workplace

I'm not saying this is you at all but there is a significant increase in people agreeing to hybrid working and finding some excuse not to go in. Some places are strict and others are cautious.

If it's making you tired you should ask but I would be worried so early in the pregnancy that you can't commute.

LadyGAgain · 01/02/2023 04:30

KendrickLamaze · 01/02/2023 04:08

The harsh reality is that it depends on

Your relationship with your manager
If you're seen as a piss taker that is using this as an excuse - possibly even yet another excuse
The culture of your workplace

I'm not saying this is you at all but there is a significant increase in people agreeing to hybrid working and finding some excuse not to go in. Some places are strict and others are cautious.

If it's making you tired you should ask but I would be worried so early in the pregnancy that you can't commute.

This.

Quveas · 01/02/2023 05:05

nobodygirl2023 · 01/02/2023 04:04

You do realise that getting sick (ie. Covid for example) can be more serious in pregnancy (esp in 3rd trimester) due to pressure on immune system? So no, pregnant people aren't only ones to get unwell but you can be more vulnerable to certain things. It's not about appearing sick or incapable - just about taking care of yourself as much as possible which will mean different things for different people

I call BS on the whole "do this for women" - powering through when you don't feel upto it and there's reasonable adjustments that can be made does NOTHING for other women other than make others feel inadequate when they don't feel like they can do the same, or feel more vulnerable (which many do during pregnancy - it's not weird or weak - it just is for some people)..

Show quote history

You can call BS on whatever you like. But the harsh reality is that many employers are reluctant to employ women of childbearing age, and it isn't just men who think that either. It is far easier to construct a viable case that does not consist of "oh woe is me, I'm pregnant". I want the one saying that women are weak or incapable weird. The OP can do as they like, but I never suggested powering through anything - I argued that a viable case that shows how the argument is beneficial to the OP AND the employer is better than a case constructed on "I'm owed this becuse I'm pregnant". You may not like it, and actually neither do I, but there is a real world out there, and the OP had already stated that last of her real works is an employer who expects staff in the office 3 times each week. And they can say no, so a case that shows their needs being met has a better chance of success.

Judgyjudgy · 01/02/2023 05:58

Quveas · 01/02/2023 05:05

You can call BS on whatever you like. But the harsh reality is that many employers are reluctant to employ women of childbearing age, and it isn't just men who think that either. It is far easier to construct a viable case that does not consist of "oh woe is me, I'm pregnant". I want the one saying that women are weak or incapable weird. The OP can do as they like, but I never suggested powering through anything - I argued that a viable case that shows how the argument is beneficial to the OP AND the employer is better than a case constructed on "I'm owed this becuse I'm pregnant". You may not like it, and actually neither do I, but there is a real world out there, and the OP had already stated that last of her real works is an employer who expects staff in the office 3 times each week. And they can say no, so a case that shows their needs being met has a better chance of success.

Show quote history

I agree. It's so hard for women to get ahead, and when women act helpless for no legitimate reason it just gives sexist people an excuse to be sexist. Not to mention it's unfair to other women as well if you think you deserve special treatment.

EnglishRain · 01/02/2023 06:28

This is the time in pregnancy which isn't too bad for the tiredness usually. If your employer has a strict policy I'd be surprised if they are particularly willing to do this and don't make a big deal out of it. From the way you've written your post it does look like you just want an excuse to WfH. But appreciate that's my interpretation of what you've written.

Being tired after a day at work isn't unusual. If you're feeling unwell because you are tired and it's affecting your productivity at work that's a better case to ask to WfH more. But if it is that say it. Just saying you're finding it tiring doesn't make me think it's a big enough issue. I've got a toddler and my commute is 2.5 hours. I'm always very, very tired, it is a permanent state post children for a lot of people so I perhaps do not see just feeling tired as being problematic. Not unless it is having other ramifications. This will be a walk in the park compared to when the baby is here (and I say that as someone who has horrendous pregnancy sickness and anxiety, but also a baby who didn't sleep well).

PurBal · 01/02/2023 06:35

I’d ask. I’ve had a sick note to that effect (fewer days commuting) but I only asked for one because I ended up having to do an emergency stop and subsequently ended up in the DAU for pain due to the seatbelt crushing the bump. I too am just crazy tried for my commute and also have a toddler. I am 21 weeks and had the near miss accident at 19+3.

Busybutbored · 01/02/2023 06:37

KendrickLamaze · 01/02/2023 04:08

The harsh reality is that it depends on

Your relationship with your manager
If you're seen as a piss taker that is using this as an excuse - possibly even yet another excuse
The culture of your workplace

I'm not saying this is you at all but there is a significant increase in people agreeing to hybrid working and finding some excuse not to go in. Some places are strict and others are cautious.

If it's making you tired you should ask but I would be worried so early in the pregnancy that you can't commute.

Good point. Once a pisstaker always a pisstaker, manager and team will spot it a mile off. And if you're tired now, good luck when the baby gets here 😬

Covetthee · 01/02/2023 06:41

agree with @Quveas as much as we like to think the world has progressed, stuff like this still disadvantages women unfortunately

Could you adjust your hours to avoid the rush hour chaos? And make up the hours either side at home.

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 01/02/2023 08:44

@Covetthee may have the best solution re avoiding the rush hour chaos and making up time at home.

Your OP to me sounds like you just want to work from home because your pregnant but no other reason or pregnancy complications.
The reason for not commuting due to not wanting to be ill is nonsense unless your isolating ALL the time ie not going to the shops, restaurants, cafes, theatres, concerts etc...

Remmy123 · 01/02/2023 09:23

You can ask but they may not agree.

I did this full time and managed there was no wfh when I was pregnant!

Goneblank38 · 01/02/2023 09:26

Hey OP, I would probably try to stick it out a little longer if you can. If you do want to ask, I would try and build a strong argument about why it will make you more productive etc.

You have my sympathy though - I had nausea right through second semester and a long commute as well and was totally knackered.

colourblock · 01/02/2023 09:30

Maybe don't go in saying you want to go in once a week straight off, that's a big drop from 3 days. I think you may be seen as a piss taker.
I think if you were further on it may be different (unless anything medical going on compared to a straight forward pregnancy)

bluetongue · 01/02/2023 20:23

Unless you’ve got an extra health problem or complication then I think you should go in three days a week.

If you can’t get a seat on the commute you might just need to be a bit assertive and ask. Most people would rather not assume a woman is pregnant as it can get a bit awkward if they’re not.

I’ve got a pregnant colleague who is taking the piss at the moment and it’s very frustrating. My colleague was a serial sick leave taker before getting pregnant and it’s only got worse.

Porridgeislife · 01/02/2023 20:32

Ask for a risk assessment - this should probably have been done already.

I worked from home for all of my third trimester as I had debilitating rib and back pain that was exacerbated by my commute. Whilst pregnancy isn’t an illness it can cause all sorts of physical problems.

I was signed off to WFH by occupational health. It helped that I comprehensively showed that I had done a LOT at my own expense to alleviate things (regular private physio, purchased a new chair, pilates classes, perfect desk/monitor home set up etc).

rosegoldivy · 01/02/2023 20:45

Agree with getting a work place risk assessment

Are you civil service?

If there is any resons due to pregnancy related health that you can't attend ie. Pelvic, hips. Back ache etc then I think they would be hard pushed not to agree a reasonable working adjustment to increase working from home.

Also i was pregnant just as working from home was Implemented and had an open chat with my manager who agreed with me that if I genuinely didn't feel up to attending the office I could work from home as and when I wanted to. Didn't go in much after that to be honest. (All work was completed and done as if was in the office.... just completed in my pj's from my bed surrounded by pregnant related snacks)