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Original poster

Imposter syndrome confirmed

18 replies

runningpram · 29/01/2023 20:57

I posted a couple of months ago about a horrid experience at work.

Briefly my organisation had a recent change of management. I was asked to do some work on a couple of projects for the new team in some extremely challenging circumstances with very little direction. This is work I've done for the majority of my career. I've always had excellent feedback at it and have prided myself on my strength at it.

I can honestly say gave 110% to the projects, working long hours to try to get them right. As far as I know they went well, despite the very difficult circumstances and I received no negative feedback of any kind and positive feedback from some places.

However a week or two later, the new senior exec suddenly said he didn't want me working on any of their projects. I asked for feedback on what I'd done wrong. I've been told alternatively that they couldn't point to anything, there was nothing negative to say, it wasn't personal, the exec had a 'gut feeling' that I wasn't intellectually up to the job.

I have some work to do but the stuff I excelled at has been removed and the exec's team told not to work with me even on the most basic projects - which is really humiliating. I now have very little to do.

I've gone through it again and again in my mind, thinking what I could have done different - there's obviously always something that could be improved. but I honestly can't think of anything significant.

My manager has been supportive to some extent but the whole situation just feels really cold. No-one has asked if I'm ok. I've had to explain some of this to my team which has been difficult. I've had to deal with being the subject
of gossip and dealing with the speculation in the wider team that I must have made a major mistake, am incompetent etc.

I'm hopefully moving onto a new project relatively soon which would be good for my long term prospects. Otherwise I would quit.

I'm putting a brave face on it and I know I'm having a bit of pity party but I'm feeling so shaken by the experience and particularly the comment about my intellectual capacity. I come from quite a difficult background and I've always suffered imposter syndrome, all this seems to have confirmed my fears.

I at times feel optimistic but other times really angry and at random times I'm on the I'm on the brink of tears. The enthusiastic, determined, increasingly confident person of a year ago seems to have vanished.

How can I get my mojo back?

OP posts:
MandaLynn · 29/01/2023 21:01

Your manager should be supporting you way more, telling you why the change and what they want you to improve. It's terrible management that they're not. And honestly I'd be looking for a new job with a supportive culture

WhatIsNextNow · 29/01/2023 21:06

Grr this makes me angry - it’s not you it’s them - some people are just twats ! The best way to get your mojo back is to go get a job somewhere else as soon as possible

Original poster
runningpram · 29/01/2023 21:07

I've asked them for info on this and they say there isn't anything and it's all politics. The most they've hinted at that its something to do with how I come across - my social skills, although not terrible - are probably not incredibly polished.

OP posts:
WhatIsNextNow · 29/01/2023 21:12

Oh just seen you are moving onto a new project - hopefully this will be a turning point for you. Write down all the times you have done well / been successful in the past and read it regularly :)

PuppyPerson · 29/01/2023 21:13

I'm so sorry that this has happened. Please remember and remind yourself that you are good at this work, you have had positive feedback before. Do you have a manager or anyone else that you could calmly approach to ask again for feedback to help you to understand what you could do differently? Personally I'd put that in email, don't say a huge amount or accuse anyone, but something to say you'd like a bit more help to understand why you have been taken off the work? I'm not an HR person so others may have better expertise. But you're being treated really badly, may be time to move on and take your skills and experience elsewhere.

sjxoxo · 29/01/2023 21:14

How can work treat you like that with such wishy washy ‘reasons’?!? Surely you have set written objectives and they should be followed and discussed etc. I don’t understand how they can remove you from tasks with no actual feedback or tangible justification…? Agree your manager should be doing A LOT more to support you. Do you have a HR dept or someone who you could ask for more in-depth info and advice?? I’d be tempted to seek legal advice actually. This sounds like it could be bullying or discrimination seeing as they don’t seem able to give you any answers. So sorry you’re going through this, they sound incompetent and you deffo shouldn’t have to tolerate such wishy washy bollocks at work. Xxx

Original poster
runningpram · 01/02/2023 08:19

Thank you for these kind comments. Unfortunately I can't really move jobs right now but I'm going to give it a few more months and then see what this new project holds. I do feel angry at the way I've been treated and somewhat as though I've been set up to fail. Hopefully it will be a new start and will open some more opportunities for me. I'm working hard at emotionally detaching myself in the meantime.

OP posts:
Reugny · 01/02/2023 08:28

Unfortunately I can't really move jobs right now but I'm going to give it a few more months and then see what this new project holds.

When managers start doing stuff like that they are working on forcing you out. So be on your guard on whether the new project is one that you can competently do and be prepared to leave if not.

MandaLynn · 01/02/2023 08:44

Reugny · 01/02/2023 08:28

Unfortunately I can't really move jobs right now but I'm going to give it a few more months and then see what this new project holds.

When managers start doing stuff like that they are working on forcing you out. So be on your guard on whether the new project is one that you can competently do and be prepared to leave if not.

Absolutely this

underneaththeash · 02/02/2023 20:34

Imposter syndrome is when you're good at your job and don't think you are - but I think that maybe you need to improve. If your work was great, they would have presented it.

Your grammar and english is fine, so maybe it didn't meet the brief.

You need to ask for specific feedback.

Original poster
runningpram · 04/02/2023 00:14

@underneaththeash I don't understand what you mean? The issue was my work was presented despite having no brief. I've asked repeatedly for feedback and told there isn't anything to specific to give - which is making this situation even more difficult to understand.

OP posts:
crew2022 · 04/02/2023 06:06

Sounds to me like your face doesn't fit. This is nothing to do with the quality of your work and usually nothing you can do anything about.
I've had a career of positive feedback and excellent results yet in one company when there was a change of executive management I began to get non specific negative feedback OR worse in my opinion, they would give OTT positive feedback to someone who did very little on the project and ignore me (to the point where the other person would be embarrassed usually and protest it was my work as they were rewarded).
Their plan worked and I left.
I took a lesser paid role as my confidence was shot but four years on and I'm seen as a high flyer at my new place and have had two promotions. I am now in a more senior role than in my last workplace.
I know you said you can't leave right now but steel yourself as this could be part of a game plan.
Remember it's NOT you it's them.

Mylaferret · 04/02/2023 06:17

Id consider putting in a grievance to be honest.

daisychain01 · 04/02/2023 10:57

runningpram · 29/01/2023 21:07

I've asked them for info on this and they say there isn't anything and it's all politics. The most they've hinted at that its something to do with how I come across - my social skills, although not terrible - are probably not incredibly polished.

They only want you to speak when you're spoken to, not come across too intelligent or assertive in case it damages their flimsy thin ego, how pathetic they are.

Keep repeating the mantra

I'm enough, exactly as I am

Don't let their dysfunction affect your morale.

Reugny · 04/02/2023 16:15

Mylaferret · 04/02/2023 06:17

Id consider putting in a grievance to be honest.

And the OP will definitely be on the path out.

Reugny · 04/02/2023 16:18

crew2022 · 04/02/2023 06:06

Sounds to me like your face doesn't fit. This is nothing to do with the quality of your work and usually nothing you can do anything about.
I've had a career of positive feedback and excellent results yet in one company when there was a change of executive management I began to get non specific negative feedback OR worse in my opinion, they would give OTT positive feedback to someone who did very little on the project and ignore me (to the point where the other person would be embarrassed usually and protest it was my work as they were rewarded).
Their plan worked and I left.
I took a lesser paid role as my confidence was shot but four years on and I'm seen as a high flyer at my new place and have had two promotions. I am now in a more senior role than in my last workplace.
I know you said you can't leave right now but steel yourself as this could be part of a game plan.
Remember it's NOT you it's them.

OP please listen to this.

Please get out while you still have confidence.

It is a form of bullying.

Celinia · 04/02/2023 16:37

They don’t give you a brief; they didn’t you much feedback; the senior exec removes you from their projects and questions your intellectual capacity but can’t give specifics about your weaknesses…oh really…🙄
Can you raise concerns play merry hell about being removed from the projects and the vague feedback? Do you think they have someone lined up for your job?

Zigzagga · 05/02/2023 23:04

It sounds like they are trying to push you out and it sounds like bullying / discrimination (hard to say which without knowing more about you / them).

Are you part of a union? Could you ask advice? Or could you speak to HR just informally to understand your options?

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