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Original poster

Would you stay in a job just because you wanted to start TTC?

17 replies

Starrynight0 · 26/01/2023 20:07

I've been in my current role (management consulting) for 6 years but things have changed a lot since I joined. We've grown, restructured, colleagues who became friends have moved on and I've become really irritated by the corporate jargon, up-or-out culture and the constant emphasis on your "visibility" which means everyone is always showing off what they're doing or working on.

BUT I am well-established there. I have a network, a reputation, good salary, flex working and excellent maternity pay. I have a good manager and the client work we get can be interesting.

OH and I want to TTC soon. I'm mid 30s and know access to fertility treatments becomes difficult soon, if we were to have problems.

If it wasn't for this I'd probably have left my job a year ago but I kept thinking by the time I found a new role, worked my notice period, and started a new job, I'd feel I needed to wait at least 6 months before trying and would then feel guilty if I got pregnant in the first year.

But I've lost enthusiasm for my current job. I know we could be trying for months or years, then the pregnancy itself, then I'd probably want to return again after maternity leave so that I'm not also trying to get to grips with a new job as a new mother.

What would you do?

OP posts:

Thatsnotmybee · 26/01/2023 20:13

I did exactly this. I hated my job but stayed as a means to an end. The difference was it was for my second (and final) pregnancy so I knew I wouldn't have to stay there even longer if I wanted more children.

My reasons were an excellent maternity package. Although things got even worse during mat leave and I ended up resigning and having to pay the whole lot back anyway, so the whole thing was pointless! The circumstances were really awful. I probably would have gone back and worked the necessary 3 months if I'd just felt like I was stagnating.

If you really hate your job, then just leave. But if you can stick it out for the benefits then it might be worth hanging on a bit longer

Coffeellama · 26/01/2023 20:15

If the maternity package is worth it I’d stay, some jobs make you be employed for a year before being eligible for enhanced maternity packages. Delaying TTC in your mid 30s to make a new job happy would be foolish in my opinion.

Runkle · 26/01/2023 20:20

Yep stay

gravyriceandchips · 26/01/2023 20:20

Yep I'd stay

dancingqueen345 · 26/01/2023 22:59

I would stay too. Means to an end!

PolarBlair · 26/01/2023 23:07

Yep 100%
In my experience once I had a baby I completely lost interest in my career anyway which I had previously taken very seriously.

SpiceAndCoffee · 26/01/2023 23:16

how soon are you thinking to ttc? This year? Stay! End of next year? Leave.

I started to really resent my current job but like you, was in a good place for maternity and also part time work. So I stayed. Intact because I disliked my job we ttc a lot sooner. we went front ‘maybe end of the year’ to ‘next month’.

it’s worked out well and I’m now back at work part time and will ttc number 2 end of this year.

however if the goal post was a long time away then I’d just change jobs I think.

LeCarre · 27/01/2023 00:09

Try for 4-6 months, then if you’re still not pregnant, leave

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 27/01/2023 00:12

Stay. If you haven’t conceived in a year-2 years then consider moving. Personally good maternity, flexibility and a familiar job role to return to would be worth putting up with some annoying jargon.

SunshineAndFizz · 27/01/2023 00:22

Yeah I'd stay.

bumbledeedum · 27/01/2023 00:32

Stay and TTC sooner rather than later

minipie · 27/01/2023 00:56

I did stay for mat benefits yes. But with hindsight I should’ve left.

My career wasn’t family friendly. I struggled on for a few years post mat leave, had another baby, but I ended up leaving to become a SAHM - I was so exhausted from trying to juggle a City job and small non sleeping DC that I didn’t have the energy to apply for other jobs. If I’d shifted to a more family friendly job while I was TTC I’d have been far more likely to stay working post kids, and that would have been better career wise and financially overall, even if I’d lost any maternity benefits.

Also it took a year to conceive DC1 so as it turns out I’d have been in any new job for quite a while by the time of mat leave.

Is your current job one you can see working well with very young children? Do you have female colleagues with young children and does it work well for them? If not I would move now.

Lavender14 · 27/01/2023 01:05

I would stay to make sure you've got flexibility and maternity entitlement. I also think it's good to be pregnant where you've built a decent reputation as it can be tough in the run up to maternity leave and returning to a job you're not familiar with would be harder as well. I look at it as taking some time to build my family life and then when kids are in school I can go for more opportunities that would require more from me and I'll be in the headspace and have the time to dedicate to a new challenge like a new job.

SayMyNameProperly · 27/01/2023 01:42

How experienced are you (how many years in consulting) and what kind of work do you do? I know a consulting firm that offers 6 months of full pay maternity leave from day 1 but they're v specialist.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 27/01/2023 01:45

Yes, I did this. Used the generous maternity package, then left not long after returning from maternity.

DramaAlpaca · 27/01/2023 01:51

I'd stay.

I did. I had DC1 and enjoyed the great maternity leave package, then I went back and stayed until I went on maternity leave with DC2.

Then I got offered a decent redundancy package and left for good. Win win.

Liveafr · 27/01/2023 06:47

I was 37 when I started TTC and although I had no problems getting pregnant (just 3 months), my pregnancy was not smooth sailings: in the first trimester I had to be on bed rest for 3 weeks for SCH (I managed to do one week of sick leave then 2 weeks of WFH for medical reasons), and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 26 weeks, which meant a lot more appointments, scans, test, etc... in addition to the regular antenatal appointments, plus the appointments I needed for the annoying pregnancy symptoms (like going to the dentist for tooth pain, going to physical therapist for back pain, etc...) for which I had to take time off work. That in addition to pregnancy tiredness and insomnia, made me way less productive than I would normally have been.
So what I mean is that if you have a diffcult pregnancy, it can be a challenge to combine it with work. If you are familiar enough in your job and planning to leave anyway, it less stressful than if you are relatively new and it's your dream job.
If your work is too stressful or soul-destroying, it's worth switching but if you are just bored or stagnating, it's worth staying.

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