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Can I retract my grievance?

5 replies

FairyGlen25 · 22/01/2023 10:27

If there are any HR professionals out there I'd really appreciate your advice.

I work in a small HR office which consists of 3 teams - HR, recruitment and payroll. I work on the recruitment team and have been there since October 2021. There are 4 of us, including the senior recruitment advisor. There have been incidents since I started (I won't go through them all as pretty long winded), but the main issue I have is that my supervisor and another person on my team are very close in and outside of work, which (I feel) has resulted in us all being treated differently, particularly myself. I do have evidence to back this up.

This has been going on since I started at the company but I've never said anything to HR or my line manager. I did confide in a couple of the people who I became good friends with that work in payroll, who said that this had been going on since before I even started but has never been addressed. It all came to a head on Friday when I broke down and spoke to HR about everything that had been going on (really difficult as it's an open plan office and we only have a small meeting room for privacy but everyone can see who goes in and out of there). She spoke to my line manager who said they would need examples so I was in and out of the meeting room all day with her going through all of this. She said they would investigate it this week.

I've been a nervous wreck all weekend. I haven't stopped thinking about it and haven't slept properly. I have so much anxiety about going in tomorrow and facing them. I honestly feel like calling in sick. I'm not scared of them but it does feel like I'm up against the both of them by myself and I don't really have anyone in my corner to defend me. I don't want to drag the payroll team into this as it wouldn't be fair to them. I know I have support from HR and my line manager but obviously they are neutral and a couple of things that the HR advisor said to me on Friday )maybe just doing her job) has made me worry and made me wonder if they think I'm just being petty and sensitive. All my examples do come across quite petty, but it's been a build up of things over the last year. It's not just one thing.

I don't know wether to ask for my grievance to be retracted (if this is even possible?). This isn't because I don't think it should be dealt with or that they haven't done anything wrong, but because I really can't handle all the stress. It was particularly difficult just before Christmas and I didn't want to come back to work in the new year, but told myself to just ignore them and focus on the job as best I could. I wish I'd stuck with this attitude and not said anything on Friday. I'm sure if my manager spoke to them they would be upset and I really don't want it to turn into a tit for tat situation. They have both been employed by the company a lot longer than I have as well and I'm worried that their "untouchable" because of this.

Please can someone advise?
Thank you

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 22/01/2023 10:29

I don't know the rules but I think you've got this far and you need to see it through. It won't really be any less stressful if you give in at this stage.

FairyGlen25 · 22/01/2023 10:37

Thank you for your reply. My main concern is that people will think I'm being petty and just taking things the wrong way. I am a sensitive person. I think that's why I've not said anything for months and all the anger and frustration has just built up.

OP posts:
Cakeyface123 · 22/01/2023 10:52

Going through something very similar myself so I totally understand how you feel. It’s all the delving into the accusations etc, that feels so stressful and yep i 100% agree it’s like opening a can of worms and then kind of wishing you hadn’t.

I think you should carry on with this - the ball is already rolling. has it been logged formally as a grievance? Or are they just ‘looking into stuff’ at the moment?

FairyGlen25 · 22/01/2023 11:22

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through the same thing @Cakeyface123, how are you feeling about it all?

I believe they are just looking into stuff at the moment. She did ask me if I wanted to take the informal/formal route and I said informal for now. My head was all over the place tbh, my examples weren't in order and I probably missed bits as well. It's so difficult to remember everything that's happened over the last year.

OP posts:
Cakeyface123 · 22/01/2023 11:26

FairyGlen25 · 22/01/2023 11:22

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through the same thing @Cakeyface123, how are you feeling about it all?

I believe they are just looking into stuff at the moment. She did ask me if I wanted to take the informal/formal route and I said informal for now. My head was all over the place tbh, my examples weren't in order and I probably missed bits as well. It's so difficult to remember everything that's happened over the last year.

I’m stressed 😩 off sick. Wondering if I should have just resigned. I don’t think I’ll be returning to the job. There’s too much water under the bridge now. I need to move away from it all and hoping it’ll be over soon and I can look for a new job

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