I’m currently on maternity leave but the prospect of going back to work in the summer is looming over me.
I’ve worked at the same company for 20 years - second place of work since leaving uni, although the first job was just a stop gap that I did for less than a year.
Originally I thought I’d just be here for two or three years before moving on. But every time I considered leaving I got a promotion. I’m actually embarrassed I have been here so long as most people do move around in my industry and I’m one of the longest serving staff. Although the work I do is perfect for my skillset and interests.
However, because I was well regarded and moving up the ladder I just stayed. It’s also the case that the majority of my industry is based in the south east and I wasn’t keen to relocate, meaning there weren’t many opportunities locally. Although, since the pandemic I have worked remotely.
Everything started to stagnate around 3 years ago when the company went through a big merger. Suddenly the department I head up became low priority to the business and I began to feel irrelevant and vulnerable. People who I felt were equivalent to me have since been moved onto bigger and better things while I’ve just been sidelined. In some ways I’ve been demoted.
I suspect my department will shut down over the next year or two and if that happens I don’t know whether I will be made redundant or if they would find me another role.
My salary is decent (though I haven’t had a performance related rise in over 6 years) and I am a manager.
I just don’t know whether I’ve lost my edge, peaked and gone as far as I can go, or whether they have simply forgotten about me. I’ve always had terrible imposter syndrome.
I’d love a fresh start when I go back but am also hoping to go back on either 3 or 4 days a week (at least for a year or two).
I am thinking of asking whether to change my role to a slightly more junior position in a more valuable department so I can get experience there. But would that be difficult to progress back to my current level?
The alternatives would be to stick it out to the bitter end and see if I get made redundant. At least I work from home which makes nursery pick ups etc easy.
Or to just cut my losses and finally move on - although immediately after maternity leave, who would hire me? I’ve been in the same place so long I’m afraid to go somewhere else now.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.