I am just looking some advice from those who might be in a similar situation.
So, I work part time (if you can even call it that) but it’s 7.5 hours a week as a midday supervisor, Mon-Fri. I’ve only been doing this job a stop gap as the area I live in doesn’t really offer many jobs in what I’m qualified in, which is school administration. Also, I can only really work term time due to having little ones, and just cannot afford childcare on low wages.
I am married, my partner works full time, 32 hours a week, 4 days a week. He earns a decent wage, where he also gets annual bonuses and does ok.
Recently we both received a refund from our Mortgage company, from fees overpaid and we spilt it between us. It wasn’t a great deal, but nevertheless we had half each as we saw this as being fair. Anyway, he’s arranged to buy something with his share, using the whole
amount, but has also asked me if he can use half of the money I had too. This item is a luxury, for him alone, for his hobby.
Now, I don’t have an issue with him having the money, but I had plans with my half, to help towards setting up my own business. Something I’ve wanted to do in a while, which he knows about and was on board with. Sadly, with my wages it’s hard to save, plus I buy all the food, pay for school trips, meals, uniform, shoes, and other bits like my phone, car, clothes for the kids, petrol, etc. my Partner pays bills, mortgage, etc, before you ask, yes this was his idea how we pay for things, he was happy to do it this way and his own choice.
So tonight we’ve had a conversation and it’s turned into a little row cause he’s saying he needs even more of the money to help fund his hobby which will now leave me short for my business ideas! Plus, I still need to buy our weekly shop, pay for two school trips, some new uniform for my teen as his it old snd tatty, plus my car insurance, my phone bill, food for school lunches. Im not at all materialistic , and I’m walking round in rags for clothes, I can’t afford to look glamorous. I even had to spend all my Xmas money on food shopping, and other things the kids needed. My partner spent his Xmas money on himself.
My argument is that he’s being greedy now, to fund his hobby, I feel he’s being selfish, because he’s spent all of his wages on other things such as new clothes, bits for his car, and his hobby, and now he needs more. I told him I didn’t want to break into all of my half of the money, or I’ll not be able to start up my own business and it’s unfair that he’s over spent this month and didn’t consider the fact this will lead to him being broke too so he won’t be able to fund his hobby alone on his share of the money.
Hes said to me tonight ‘why you a damn midday supervisor if you can’t afford nothing then’?
So I told him again, like I have several times , that where we live there is no jobs that fit in with the little ones and school run. They he never helps with the school run or with the little ones, he’s either playing games, asleep or working, doing his hobby or at his moms. He won’t cut his hours, not even slightly so I can do extra hours in a non term time Job, he says he likes his wages and he also said he isn’t prepared to look after the kids weekends if I get a weekend job! So with no help or support, my wages will continue to be low, unless I can find a 9:30-2:30 term time job. That won’t pay huge amounts but it’s better than what I’m on now and it’s what I am experienced and qualified to do. So how
Can I earn more, if one there’s no suitable jobs around, within a good distance and if I don’t get the help and support from my partner, what does he expect me to do, if he won’t budge on his hours so it’s fair we both can work more hours?
anyone else in this position and can give advice
many thanks and sorry for the essay.