Help me find a work pattern after maternity

[Lilyyy]

I’m Im really struggling to work out what to do when I go back to work.

I have no choice but to go back to work full time, I do 37 hours a week. Ive considered compressing and doing 33/34 a week instead but I know I will be doing a full time job on less pay; plus my DH will think I’m part time and more housework will fall to me (another convo I won’t get into)

I want to drop a day and compress but I know I’ll struggle doing 9.25 hours.

Considering a 9 day fortnight with varied hours but don’t know what’s best.

DD is going to nursery two days a week 8-6, and on these days I’ll ask to work from home and nursery is a 10min drive. DH will be at home the other three and working the weekend.

any suggestions at all I’d be grateful! If you went back full time what did you do?

I think given what info you've given if this was me I would just do 5 straight days of normal hours. This is because if you need to leave early for childrens sickness, nursery event etc you can more easily make up the time on the rest of the days. Also like you said you will also get seen as full time by your DH (unfairly but there you go).

If you ever want a day off you could always ask once in a while to compress your week just for that week on an adhoc basis, if your employer is flexible?

I just think cramming all your hours into 4 days will be exhausting. Would the financial impact of the extra day paying for nursery be a factor?

Also, guessing this is for a first child as you've not mentioned any others? If so do you plan more children, as if so this work pattern is only likely to be for a year/2/3 years until your next mat leave?

First child, not having anymore. I’m dreading going back to work as I don’t want to leave her and want to spend as much time but can’t afford not to :( unless I suck up the loss of pay but we need the money.

I know as well in my job if I compressed to 4 days I would end up picking overflow work from other teams as I would be available as I’m there when everyone else goes home.

I compressed when I went back, working 07:30 - 18:00 with a lunch break. I found it easier to have a day off a week where I was mum - I didn't touch my laptop or work mobile on my non-working day. DH was doing drop off and pick up from nursery and so when I was working I was free to focus on work.

When COVID hit and I was trying to do both work and being mum, it was too stressful and the worlds colliding was too much.

9.25 is just too much. Especially if you'd be struggling with tiredness or a poorly baby. I'd just do 5 normal days in your shoes.

I think I tried about 3 variations of days and hours when I went back until I found what worked best for me and DD, so if you have any restriction or limit on the amount of charges you can make, I'd ask for a trial period before committing to the hours. One of my changes was to cut my lunch break so I could finish earlier as my DD wasn't coping in nursery until 6pm, but half an hour made all the difference.

Just thinking a good thing about a 9 day fortnight is you have a whole day to use if needed for sickness. So if your baby is ill you can take a day off and work your usual day off instead.
I moved working days a lot when mine were babies as you quickly run out of sick leave/carer’s leave.
Working every day you might feel hemmed in.

I would do the 8.2 a day and do a 9 day fortnight if I were you.
Plus you can use annual leave / toil / bank holidays to make most weeks a 4 day week.

You learn to be very good at enforcing boundaries, very fast.

I went back when DD was 10 months part-time (32 hours a week) and had the problem of colleagues not respecting I was off work at 3.30pm. I remember answering the phone to an unknown number one day at soft play to discover my new boss on the line, someone had given him my personal number; i said it was my afternoon off and he said tough and carried on talking. I let him jabber on and yelled over the soft play cacophony “look I didn’t hear a word of that, speak tomorrow!” And hung up.

After that I enforced boundaries. I was extremely clear what was my job, what was not. If they insist you do “overflow” work on the long days, then they take something else out of your job. If you weren’t there at 6.30pm it would not be done til next day, would it?

The same applies to your DH. “Expecting you” to do more stuff requires a firm conversation in which you stick up for yourself.

It is very very hard working when your baby is still tiny. Nights are hard. Babies catch illnesses and you are often distracted and disrupted by exhaustion and the illnesses you catch off your kids.

you have to be your own defender and be a bit about protecting number 1.

in your shoes, I’d go part time and tell dh to stick his extra housework chores where the sun don’t shine.

I went back part time but I stopped taking hour lunches and just take 30 mins now. That 30 mins a day really helps build up a bit of overtime that I can take back when childcare falls through/baby is poorly etc.

What is DH working? Sat, Sun and 2 nursery days?
If that's the case, I thunk a 9 day fortnight, so you all get a day off together - well, until school starts sometimes.

I'll be going back to work in Feb and wanted to do less hours. Going to have to do at least 30 just with the shit show ATM. But can do that over 4 days. I hope you figure something out soon. I'm gonna hate leaving my son 😭 not spent any time away from him and he's 9 months. X

I agonised over the same dilemma (and had a MN thread on the topic albeit under a different user name.) I know you have discounted doing 34 hours but have you worked out where you'd be pay wise? I had discounted it initially but was shocked when I realised that was a negliable difference between my working 37.5 hours and working 34 in terms of pay.

It sounds like you have it nicely covered as it is. I would go back to normal hours other than your two days WFH.

Good point from someone above re shortening your lunchbreak, definitely worth only taking 30 mins if possible.

Also have you considered if your DP can take your little one to nursery in the mornings and you can make up hours that end of the day, so you dont have to work so late in the evening? Might not be an option but something to think about.

Good luck whatever you decide!

I would:

(A) use your accrued holiday to go back 4 days for as many weeks as you have holiday at first whilst you work out what you want; and

(B) not make any assumptions about what your work will agree to. I asked for compressed hours on my return from mat leave and it was rejected...I'm now looking for a new job

I would ask your boss if you can have 15-20 unpaid days you can take across the year in addition to your holiday entitlement and that you can use add hoc eg to take a Friday off when you are behind of life admin or when the baby is a bit poorly but not so bad that you HAVE to take the day off. Don't tell yr DH about these days- just have them in your pocket so you don't feel guilty having the odd extra day to do mummy stuff and keep your life on track without letting down your boss/keeping goodwill with them. I've gone back full time and it works fine except for the occasional afternoon/day when I really would rather be getting on top of home stuff instead of being at work so I can then focus fully on work the rest of the time instead of the occasional mad juggle weeks

Why not do 3 ten hour days and one 7 hour day? Take one of the non nursery days so you spend one day of the week as a family.

I went back full time when DD was 8 months old. After the first couple of weeks at nursery she didn't do a full week for about 3 months with all the snots. This was 2020 so many many covid tests. 9 in 10 would probably be my ideal, especially if you can switch sick days around

I do 7:30-17:00 x2 one 9-14:30 and one 730-20:30 I. Do the 13h is usually on a w/end

Opt for the 9 day fortnight and if you can flexi time. As pp say it’s 8 hours 15 minutes a day. If you work flexi, some days try do an extra 15 mins when you can and bank it. Building up a flexi credit gives you a cushion for days you need to start late/ finish early.

Make your NWD a Monday if you can as it means you have more leave to take at a time that suits you.

Also consider how you use accrued annual leave, rather than taking it in a block before you return to work use some to ease you back in e.g 2 days leave wk 1, one days leave plus nwd wk2 etc. 9 days leave (8.2 hours) with a 9 day fortnight gives you 6 weeks of working 3 days.

Agree with PPs about taking half hour lunch break.
I would look to do either 5 days of normal hours or a 9 day fortnight. You need to consider the length of working day and whether you're going to see much of DC on your working days.
When mine were little I never finished later than 4.45. That way I still had a couple of hours with them before they went to bed.