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Original poster

Nursery shuts at 6pm - commute 45mins - have to leave at 5pm

22 replies

moodlesoup · 02/02/2008 14:42

hi - just want to see if anyone else is in the same boat as me. we have a lovely nursery around the corner from our house which opens at 8am and shuts at 6pm. i very rarely pick my baby up or in fact see her in the evenings as i work until 6.30/7pm and my partner picks her up and looks after her. i want to change this as i miss her desperately and start 2-3 days a week but this will mean i leave at 5pm.
we live near the city centre but at that time of night my normal 20min commute takes up to 45mins so the only way of being certain that i can make it in time to pick her up is if i leave at 5pm.
i've posted on here before and have had a few comments about being grateful for leaving at 6.30pm and that 5pm is a half day etc, so could do without hearing that again!
there is no one at my work who leaves at this time, but then again there's also no one at work who has children.
i just want to hear if anyone else has similar situation as it feels like i'm in the minority...
cheers

OP posts:

tiredemma · 02/02/2008 14:44

who said that 5pm is half day?

LyraSilvertongue · 02/02/2008 14:45

Could you staert earlier to make uo up the hours? Or maybe take a slight pay cut?
I used to have to leave by 5pm to get DS2 from nursery, much earlier than everyone else, but to make up for it I got in early and got on with routine tasks before everyone else arrived.

malfoy · 02/02/2008 14:46

I changed my working hours to leave at 4.30pm. I was worried that leaving it until 5 was cutting it too fine.

I found it stressful though because of the eprception of leaving "early". Nobody said anything but I always felt self conscious walking out the door when everybody else was still working.

malfoy · 02/02/2008 14:47

I also requested remote access via computer so I could finish stuff off if I had to leave in the middle of something.

posieflump · 02/02/2008 14:48

my sister did this
She used to work from 9 to 5
No she works from 8.30 - 4.30

posieflump · 02/02/2008 14:48

now

theyoungvisiter · 02/02/2008 14:50

I have this situation - I leave at 5.15 one day a week and my partner picks the baby up the other two days (I only work 3 days a week).

5.15 is cutting it fine, tbh, but the nursery are ok about very occasional one-off delays.

I do feel slightly guilty about leaving when everyone else is still working, but I make up for it by getting in early and reason to myself that they don't feel guilty for rolling up while I'm already working! Also I tend to make the most of my "late" nights.

donbean · 02/02/2008 14:56

oh its a nightmare!
I have to leave at 2.40 latest to pick my boy up from school one day a week and i am so stressed by it i cant tell you.
Most meetings are sheduled for 2pm at my work so i have to self conciously stand up and leave the meeting at 2.35 and every one looks at me, i cant submit any thing for the agenda because i am in such a state about not finishing or bieng open for discussion and running over that i stutter and get in a tiz.
Think after school club is the answer sadly.
I dont have road rage normally yet i could rip some ones head off that dares to go less than 28mph all the way to school!
Its awful, i feel for you, really i do.

malfoy · 02/02/2008 15:00

Meetings are a nighmare. I would make it clear at the beginning that I would be walking it out at such a time but it is still hard.

MrsPuddleduck · 02/02/2008 15:09

I would give serious thought to changing to a childminder as it would really take the pressure off you to get back before closing.

I wouldn't even entertain the idea of a CM for DS1 and really regret the decision. I found a fantastic one for DS2, she takes him to music and art clubs and to a playgroup. She has an assistant so there are quite a few children there and he is well socialised.

I also think it is a much nicer environment if you are going to leave them there all day. eg. to sit around a table and have a homecooked meal before you pick her up. He also gets much more love and cuddles from her when needed which I think is really important when they are away from you all day.

bookwormmum · 02/02/2008 15:14

Why is 5pm a half-day? I work 9-5 everyday with 30 mins for lunch. I prefer that rather than take another 30 mins for lunch only to leave 30 mins later (I am capped at 37.5 hours a week to get paid).

Perhaps you could start work ealier so you can leave earlier. Ignore comments from people or 'looks' - as long as you know that you've completed your tasks then hold your head high. Some people begin work at 7 and leave at 3.30 - it's whatever suits you best.

spicemonster · 02/02/2008 15:23

I really sympathise and am in exactly the same position and regularly worked till 6.30-7 before I had my DS.

Now I get in 8.45 and leave at 4.45-5 (am a lone parent so have to do all nursery runs). I've been back at work for 3 months and it's gradually getting better. I suspect it's my own internal nag rather than anyone else who is saying anything and even if they are, I am contractually obliged to work 35 hours, not 45.

To ease the guilt, I always make it clear I can review stuff from home in the evenings if it's emailed to me.

As yet, I've not had a late meeting to contend with but have had to arrive late for a few early morning ones ...

CeciC · 02/02/2008 21:10

Hi Moodlesoup,
I have the same reactions when I leave work at 2:30 to pick up my DD2 from School. I've always worked f/t after having my girls, but after the second, I worked in the office 8:30 to 2:30 and I would worked the rest of the hours at home. Almost everyone in my office commented on the hours I worked, as if I didn't work full time. Even when talking about changing jobs, going for something more managerial, it looked like everyone thought I was working p/t, and I have to remind everyone that I worked from home everyday. Now, since November, I worked from 7:00 to 2:30, but I think people still thinking that full time is being in the office until 5 pm, doesn't matter at what time you start work, just because you leave early, you must be working part time
Just ignored the looks when you leave at 5, at least, when I leave the office I get into "mum" role, so the office desapears, and what everybody thinks too.

meep · 02/02/2008 21:23

moodlesoup, pre-dd I would work 8 - 7 but now I have to leave at 5pm and run to catch the one bus that gets me to dd's nursery in time. DD is always the last baby in the room - in fact normally the last child in the whole nursery by the time I get there
I made sure that before I went back to work I explained that I would have to leave at 5 and no later - on the understanding that I work from home if I need to. So far it is fine though I do feel bad rushing away at 5 - but I do work more efficiently though the day and always work through lunch.
I must stop explaining why I leave at 5 and just get on with it

jelliebelly · 02/02/2008 21:49

I am in a similar position. I have a 90 minute journey into work including a 60min train journey. I get up and leave for work while ds and dh are still in bed. Dh takes ds to nursery. I leave work at 4pm every day so that I can get back to collect ds from nursery at 5.30pm and do evening bath/bed routine every night. I have to be v.organised to leave at 4pm on the dot otherwise I will miss my train - I have a blackberry and I have remote access to work email etc from my home PC so if necessary I can work in the evening once ds is in bed. I take the attitude that I know I am very good at what I do and probably achieve more during my shorter working day than many of my colleagues do - a fact that fortunately my boss recognises. Ultimately your time with your family is more important that work so just do it!!!

blueshoes · 02/02/2008 22:25

Loads of people shift their working hours to start and end earlier because of the nursery school run eg 0830 to 0430.

But then the child starts school hours and they are buggered, barring breakfast and afterschool club.. Still worthwhile to shift those hours while you can, though. One step at a time.

B1977 · 02/02/2008 22:28

Could you cycle? That way your commute time is a lot more predictable, but obv would not suit everyone.

seeker · 02/02/2008 22:33

How much money do you have left after paying nursery fees? Is it worth the hassle?

Bubble99 · 02/02/2008 22:37

At our nursery some of the staff babysit for an hour or so after 6pm. The parents give them a set of keys and they take the baby/child home until a parent returns.

This is a private arrangment between the nursery nurse and the parent as the nursery is obv not responsible for the child after the nursery closes.

1dilemma · 02/02/2008 22:59

Oh this vould be me, currently we have had to employ someone to pick our dcs up because my 9-5 job doesn't allow mw to pick up my own children on time. We chose the nursery especially because it was a)close to work, b) open half an hour later then everything else!!!
Tried and tried to get one of afterschool club people to help bring dc home (with pay)but no luck. (TBH I think they struggle to attract people were offering sports but had to cancel because couldn't get local sports studies students to coach (again for money!!)

alfiesbabe · 03/02/2008 11:24

Just an idea... but maybe you could negotiate with the nursery to pay extra if you need a bit of out-of-hours cover? My kids were at a fantastic nursery which opened 8.30 to 5.30. I needed to drop off at 8am and sometimes couldnt get there for 5.30. The nursery agreed to cover the extra time -I was charged double time, but it solved the problem. A CM or nanny would be more flexible, but I agree that if youre happy with the nursery then you want to stick with it.

Original poster

moodlesoup · 03/02/2008 13:32

thanks for all the posts - it sounds like this situation is pretty much the norm and that guilt is everywhere....

i'm going to start cycling in the spring to reduce the commute but until then its the bus.

have a good week everyone, and here's to a guilt free 5pm finish.
x

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