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Is this Work place bullying?

10 replies

user07677 · 14/12/2022 09:53

I started this job about a month ago, it was my first proper job for context, and I was excited and ready to learn I had started and almost immediately fell into some problems, please bare in mind this is a small business maximum 6/7 people work here and two people who were doing the same job as me where leaving meaning I would be the only one doing that specific job from now on, she had made me aware that I would need to give a months notice for time off I did that for one day for Christmas it was refused however I understood that they were very short on staff now those girls had gone, i then had experienced a health issue which required an emergency appointment it was late in the day so I said could I work until then and then go as like I said it was an emergency but it had got refused again for short staff purposes, in between this time I had only been there two weeks and was still learning and getting to grips with things I would recieve messages quite harsh messages that I had done something wrong the previous day, then one day I had tried to make conversation with the boss and I had tried to make conversation as it felt like he really did not like me so I said it's cold out today isn't it he replied with well it is December what do you expect quite patronisingly, and then when I was trying to learn and do my job he would always make comments or sigh or tell me how I'm not doing it right which we're always quite condescending in tone and it's the worst feeling when your trying to learn and your made to feel small, he also would always call me the wrong name he's apologise and then continue to do it apologise again and so forth, the manager had messaged me after not letting me know that I needed to be at the 2nd place of work on this day, I hadn't had time to arrange transport I don't drive and wasn't aware I was even meant to be at this 2nd place, she had threatened me and told me that I would cost the women who I work with all her money and it would be my fault she has to let people down and not be paid, I had as politely as I could said that if I wasn't even told that I had to be there or haven't had the time to arrange transport what was I meant to do, she replied with a sturn but unprofessional text saying that I need to start looking at the rota but I wasn't in the previous day to check as I had to take a sick day for the emergency appointment, she told me that I never speak at work and that I never voice my concerns and that they've tried there best but it's best you bring your uniform in today and you can leave today. I have spoke to the previous girls that left and they said they shared a similar experience not the being let off but how rude and abrupt they can be and how hard it is to want to learn when you always get shut down. I just wondered if this is something on my behalf that I need to work on for future jobs or maybe me being to sensitive to certain subjects or genuinely them just not being very nice.

OP posts:
Furcoatandnoknickerz · 14/12/2022 12:36

Wow! Well the fact 2 people have just left should be a red flag, also the fact that they have recruited just one person ( you) to do 2 peoples jobs.
It sounds horrendously toxic, it’s never going get any better.
If you can, run a mile as soon as possible, your well-being and mental health is not worth this shit.

Im in a kind of similar situation, everything started well for a couple of months, then the constant fault finding, nit picking and criticism started while I’m still learning.
Previous to me 2 people left in close succession, then just after I started someone else went after constant picking, I can now see why! This is NHS!
Im on long term sick atm, I won’t go back, I’ve also been completely ghosted by my so called team lead!
Life’s too short.

Furcoatandnoknickerz · 14/12/2022 12:41

Just to add, to your final question, over the last 10 years ish I have found most workplaces are not pleasant places to be. I guess you do need to be quite thick skinned and resilient which I’m not! My last workplace even did ecourses on resilience……I think that speaks volumes.
Im only a few years from retirement I feel I’ve done with being employed, when I’m feeling better I will look into doing something for myself.

MajorCarolDanvers · 14/12/2022 12:52

It doesn't sound like a nice place. I think you should look for another job as it won't improve.

I disagree with pp. plenty of workplaces are great and there's one out there for you.

Angelofthenortheast · 14/12/2022 12:56

I work temporary freelance so I've had LOTS of jobs, and I can say that I've experienced what your describing about 20% of the jobs I've had.

Yes it's bullying and toxic - but it's their problem to fix, not yours.

I made it my new years resolution to quit a job at the first sign of red flags (1 person to cover 2 peoples work is an immediate no). Even if you're desperate for a job, don't continue with one's like this in the future. You risk your mental health, being messed around and let go at short notice.

Furcoatandnoknickerz · 14/12/2022 13:17

@MajorCarolDanvers can you please point me in the direction of these great workplaces/ industries? Would love to try one.

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 14/12/2022 13:27

Find another job my love, these people are grade A cunts and bullies.

HumourReplacementTherapy · 14/12/2022 16:22

That sounds awful. What industry is it?
When applying for jobs have a look on glass door At employee reviews. Ok so some you may need to take with a pinch of salt but it's a great website for getting a feel for an organisation. You can often get lots of good interview prep tips on it too.

MajorCarolDanvers · 14/12/2022 16:59

Furcoatandnoknickerz · 14/12/2022 13:17

@MajorCarolDanvers can you please point me in the direction of these great workplaces/ industries? Would love to try one.

Sorry you haven't had good experiences in your workplaces but it doesn't mean your experience is universal.

Mostly I have worked in the charity sector. But have also worked in the leisure industry and retail.

LIZS · 14/12/2022 17:19

I would not say it was bullying as such but certainly a toxic environment and the manager was gaslighting you by blaming you for not noticing the change of location. Not all workplaces can let you leave for an appointment at short notice though, unless you were taken ill.

pinneddownbytabbies · 14/12/2022 17:29

Shit employer I'm afraid. They are treating you really badly.

They are bullying you, and that's all there is to it. There's a reason why those other people left, and if I were you I wouldn't even bother going back tomorrow.

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