Peeve - 'Remind me'

[EarthSight]

I work somewhere where it's common for people to shirk taking ownership of tasks or problems, for various reasons, even if is their actual job.

One of my pet peeves that I have is when people say 'Oh remind me if I haven't done that by (insert time/date)'.

No thank you - I have enough of my own things to remember without being co-opted into being someone else's PA. They can set their own reminder on their phone. I know that when someone does this, they are hoping to put the burden of responsibility on my shoulders.....so if they don't do the intended task, they can say 'But you should have reminded me!'.

On a side note - I have noticed as well that male clients and colleagues tend to ask me more to invite everyone from their own team to online meetings....as if by being female, I am of course their designated P.A. This rarely if ever happens with female clients in particular.

Anyone else get annoyed by this?

I will hold my hand up and say that I do use ‘remind me’ if I have already provided and they haven’t bothered to use/read/look at etc - so something like ‘yeah you have that, take another look and remind me if you need something else’ type thing.

But a resounding YES to be treated as admin type person even though I am a specialist in what I do.

YANBU

With the remind me people - first time offer to show them how to set reminders in their calendars or direct them to a training course. If they persist, treat it like the learning need e.g. you need to ask your line manager for planning and organising training.

Being treated as a PA, harder with clients but could you say can’t your PA do this. With colleagues I would be a bit more robust - no it’s your meeting you are responsible for inviting attendees or I’m not your PA. You could also get in first, when discussing a meeting say Rob please can you invite the team.

Yes, "remind me" drives me mad. "Remember it yourself like an adult" is how I want to respond. Or "Aren't you going to write it on your to do list?"

Unless it is your job to set the deadlines or work then I would completely ignore those requests.

If they can't add to dos to their list or deadlines to their calendars then there's not much hope for them. Better if everyone knows they are a useless waste of space ASAP so no point in propping them up, is there?!

Or....

"Oh god, no point in asking me. I have enough trouble remembering my own stuff." Ad infinitum on repeat...........

Probably senior blokes who have managed to climb the greasy pole with smoke and mirrors rather than on merit.

Has anyone ever come back to you and blamed you for them failing to do the task because you didn't remind them?

Not quite @Palacepicker . A colleague didn't actually ask me but when they didn't do the task, they were annoyed that I didn't remind them to do it. Just thought 'nice way of laying blame on me for something you were supposed to remember and do'. Felt like I was being co-opted into taking responsibility for it. A very minor event but it's made me aware of how often people throw a casual 'remind me' out. Like I said it's within the context of a company with a problem with people not taking ownership or responsibility.

Oh my that's my pet peeve!

I have a co-worker who expects you to remind them, by other means.They currently have 6K+ emails unread and control everything their department team does, including responding to general email requests.

They have trust issues - the biggest bottleneck to the business. It's scary!

I try not to let it get to me - having to escalate through management chains since it impacting new business.