Is it viable for me to give up work to raise my children?

[Newmum115]

Hi everyone, I'm new to Mumsnet and this is my first time posting. I really need an unbiased opinion.

We have a 5 month little girl and I'm absolutely loving being a mum. I've always wanted a big family and want to have more children. I'm the main breadwinner between me and my husband and my job is stressful. Before pregnancy I was working most evenings and some weekends, I was very career focused and wanted to progress through the company. The company I work for really looks after their staff, I get a good wage, pay rise and bonus every year along with regular promotions. Because we rely on my salary I will be going back to work full time (part time isn't really an option in my job). Therefore we will have to start paying nusery fees.

Looking to the future we will need to wait for our little girl to be starting school or at least until we get the funding for nusery through before we can think about having another baby, as we won't be able to afford multiple children in nusery at the same time. So I've been thinking which is the better option and financially viable.... Have children further apart in age (which may result in not having as many children as I want), work full time to pay for them in nusery. Or stop work, be a stay at home mum and have children as quickly as possible then once they're all in school go back to work? There is also the factor that I would love to be a stay at home but if I did give up work it would mean years of being very tight with money, which might not be the wisest in the current climate.

Would be really interested to hear people's opinions and if anyone has done anything similar. X

If you can afford it without benefits then it's fine.

Sounds like you have a great employer and are well rewarded. Don't take that for granted as it's a lot less common that you may realise. I think you'd be a fool to throw that away, especially as the main wage earner.

It's very risky to give up work at the best of times, so in most circumstances that would be a bad idea. With a prolongued recession looming, a very bad idea. And it doesn't sound like you're in a financial position where it's at all viable to support your children properly if you do. How would it work, if you're the main earner but even your salary is barely enough for nursery fees to be manageable? If you gave up work, and your partner earns even less, how could you afford to provide for your child/ later children? If sounds like a larger age gap is the only viable option in the circumstances, unless you or your partner work towards promotions and payrises.

How much disposable income wood you have each month after bills with just your DHs salary?

It depends on your income and financial commitments surely. If your husband earns enough to cover everything, wit some to spare for emergencies, and/or you've lots of saving them sure, it can work.
If your husband just barely earns enough to pay for mortgage and bills, so you'll be screwed if there's an emergency like car bill or new boiler, then probably not.
If you would be relying on benefits instead of working, definitely not.

I honestly think anyone would be daft to give up a job right now, things are heading in the direction of the shitter and not getting better anytime soon.

Or stop work, be a stay at home mum and have children as quickly as possible then once they're all in school go back to work?

How many are you planning on having? You have to factor in school holidays, days off sick, time for sports clubs etc.

Will you be realiant on benefits to top you up to a basic standard of living?

If you are the main breadwinner, could your husband go part time or compress his hours?

You also need to factor in lost pension contributions for either of you, as well as the difficult in getting back in to work after a break/lost promotions.

I honestly wouldn't but if one of you is to stay at home surely it makes sense to be your dh if you earn more, plus you will get to have maternity leaves so some of the time you would both be around. Ideally you would both at least do some work part time in case you find yourself alone, plus that is the most tax efficient solution.

How old are you and how far up the career ladder are you?
It took me at least 8 years to get back to the top of my game and i regret the money not in a good pension.
I think you'd be nuts to step back the way the world is now especially to add more uncertainty to it and kids.

Sometimes, it’s worth just having a very short return to work (enough to get full maternity pay) before having a second child.
you need to sit down and work out the financials for your specific circumstances.

I have a big age gap - double nursery fees one reason. I went back ft until the youngest went to primary at this point I went part time - easier as I was already working for the company, meant older daughter came home from secondary school with me being home. Impacting my pension but husband has split it down the middle so only a little bit.

As they older it’s actually a better having an age gap as only one set of university help! I have 6 years to save up and help pay for driving lessons & a car!

I would say babies and uni students are both a massive financial hit! I’m glad I’ve worked so we can support them.