Maternity is nearly over and unsure what to do

[SJT89]

Evening,

I’m currently on maternity leave and have been back to work for a couple of keeping in touch days here and there and I still love my job.

Unfortunately, the dynamics of the organisation has changed, drastically since I left and I am a bit torn on the situation.

Basically, I went on mat leave while on secondment for a managerial role. Just before going on mat leave I was placed elsewhere in the organisation due to staff shortages etc yet kept on same management pay and was told I was wanted to be kept on as a manager once the shortage ceased resulting in myself believing I would be returning to the same position post maternity. Recently found out the individual who was my maternity cover had been given a permanent position leaving no room at the inn for little ol’ me upon my return.

I didn’t have the verbal agreement in writing, my entire pregnancy was extremely hard going and near the end I didn’t know if I was coming or going so didn’t think to have it in writing which retrospectively was absolutely stupid.

On my KIT days I haven’t felt welcome, I haven’t felt part of the team, I have felt deflated, alone, disliked and one of the now managers I feel has been speaking down to me (taking into account I was doing her job for nearly a year with her doing it for a couple of months).

The new HR lady requests my presence to advice me that several members of staff have informed her on my abrupt manner.

I won’t go into any more detail as it’s infuriating me to think about it and I currently can’t sleep through thinking about it. I also don’t really want anyone from work knowing I’ve posted on here encase someone happens to see it as it’s being handled by HR currently and I don’t know what to expect.

I guess I just wanted to vent as I feel so pushed out due to several reasons and I was hoping someone might be able to give some advice to what I need to do if I happen to find another job before my ultimate return. Do I still give normal notice period? Do I just say ‘active immediately bla bla’? Do they still provide SMP for the notice period? Can I start the new job during my notice period? Any other suggestions for what I need to know would be greatly received.

SMP - your current employer should pay the remainder. If your last day of employment* is before you exhaust your SMP they may pay the rest in a lump sum.
OMP - if you get occupational mat pay make sure there are no requirements to repay if you don’t return to work.
Notice period - You should give your normal contractual notice e.g. one month or longer as per your contract.
*I recommend you make sure your last day of employment is when your SMP is due to end and don’t give more than your contractual notice.
Annual leave - Remember you should also be paid for annual leave accrued during Mat leave.
Starting new job - you can’t start a new job and still get SMP. In many cases it will take a little time to go through recruitment process and to get a start date and they expect notice periods so align to end of SMP.
KIT days - use them up as it gives you extra cash.

From what you have said, your employer is behaving badly and you are probably right they want you out. You do have rights to an equivalent role of your permanent job, the secondment is a grey area. Talk to Pregnant then screwed and ACAS. It’s up to you if you fight it or get another job and walk away.

It will be a lot less hassle for you if you just give the minimum required notice with your last day as the end of your SMP. Ask them for your accrued annual leave in your resignation letter. I would do the rest of your KIT days, just because you get full pay - don’t be surprised if they stop you once you give notice. Start looking for a new job and once you get an offer then hand in your notice.

@Princessglittery Thank you! That’s exactly the type of information I was concerned about. There’s three jobs I’ve spotted which I’m qualified for, I wasn’t planning on going back early but if I start applying now a few months before I am due to return I thought my odds of finding something is higher. I was planning on looking for something else anyway but didn’t expect to have to yet. I have one more KIT days booked in but I’m going to try to book in the last few after Christmas.

My partner has said he feels the new management team for my dept might be intimidated by me as I am a strong work character, I know what I’m doing and I do what I do extremely well and efficiently whereas I don’t feel the new team are competent enough to ensure the survival of our team.

I don’t want to fight it as, like I said I was planning on going anyway but at the same time I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of pushing me
out, I want to leave on my terms, albeit probably sounding slightly childish. However, if I managed to get a position before being due to return I would take it at this point.

After posting here last night I had a mini panic attack, freaking out about it all, I just went on a spiral worrying about everything I blurted out with the HR woman yesterday, worrying if maybe my abrupt attitude will prevent me from acquiring another job, worrying about using the MD as a reference etc. I know he can’t legally provide a bad reference he can just decline to provide one yet he knows so many people in the areas I could go, I am concerned if he may say something off the record, he’s also a very strange man so I am worried about if he did provide a reference he could put some sort of sly comment as he is that sort of unprofessional.

I know it’s silly to get so worked up over a job but I am the only income in our household and I also absolutely hate the unknown so the entire situation of not knowing what’s going to happen when I go back or what a new job might be like is absolutely terrifying.

I would speak to Pregnant Then Screwed. To get HR involved when you’re on maternity leave (how old is your baby?) seems extreme. There’s obviously a lot more you haven’t said but if you find they are acting unlawfully I’d be looking to be paid off with an agreed reference rather than just leaving.

Do you need to do the KIT days? It sounds like they are upsetting you and giving your employer reasons to complain. I’d cancel if you can afford to

You sound like a brilliant and smart employee OP (love a motivated working mum, so refreshing to read on here rather than whinges about having to go back). I hope you find a better job soon.
I was managed out years ago when I had an illness (although not one that required time off work other than occasional hospital appointments). I love my job now!

@Princessglittery baby is 6 months old, I’ve done three KIT days so far, due to have another next week. The first day went well, it concerned me the new managers inability to complete tasks which are vital for the department and AQS. They were asking me how to do it which I was happy to assist with.

Second KIT day same manager belittled me and was extremely dismissive of me in general, which I’m assuming is when I showed an abrupt attitude. It’s worth saying on this KIT day a new manager was shadowing (these two having been friends and working together since both started with the org at least 7+ years ago) and this new manager is someone I was promoted over previously where she was hostile towards me throughout the entirety of my secondment even though I was her manager, I didn’t feel the need to bring up the apparent problem then as I understood where she was coming from, she’d been with the org a lot longer than me (I’d only been there for a year at the time) and she would have been extremely disappointed and angry that I was promoted over her. There’s many reasons behind why I was chosen over her including work load prioritisation, time management, etc. MD private messaged me in the middle of the night following the interviews to say I wasn’t chosen for my interview skills which I know aren’t the best (awful at talking about myself) which I find to be extremely unprofessional especially as he didn’t elaborate to how I could potentially improve.

Third KIT day HR brought me into their office and here I am. Neither of the new managers were in the office yesterday so prior to being called in, I was having a lovely day and realising how much I still love the job even if I was doing the non management role.

The organisation is extremely cliquey, it’s not that large, when I started there were only about 20 employees. Now there must be going into 40+ members of staff which is I’m assuming why they’ve now recruited an internal HR person.

I’m going to work on my applications for these jobs today then I will look into ACAS once the other children are back in school Monday. I haven’t wanted to stay in this org forever, it’s always been a stepping stone for me for experience and knowledge to allow me to progress in the areas I want to do yet I never felt it would go down like this.

@Walrus6 I accidentally replied to the wrong person, the above was direct at you haha. I want them to succeed so I have no intention of being paid off as I know that would place them in financial hardship. I agree it seems extreme with HR but I also feel the HR is a new thing so maybe they’re just trying to make a bold, entering the org statement. Or the individual/s who have said this are over playing the situation as they have been known to do previously in different departments.

We don’t need the KIT days but with the additional monthly costs (gotta love this living crisis) they are helping prevent us from struggling. I was adamant last night I didn’t want to go in next week but after a bit of sleep I’ve got my motivation back with not giving them the satisfaction of ruining my enthusiasm. Like I’ve said I love the job, I’m not going to give them a reason to think less of my standards and give into them.

I explained all the above and more to the HR person and they’re going to get back to me this week.

@Mariposista thank you! My partner has said I can do so much better than them and the loyalty has obviously gone so I’m going to try. Isn’t it awful that employers feel they can do these things? I know there are so many places which are worse than this yet it’s just not right. While on maternity or on sick leave the employee should be treated as some sort of protected species. If they continue I’m going to bring my MH into it as since the beginning of the pregnancy my MH has just diminished. We’ve had so many family bereavements in the last year along with pregnancy complications and school problems it’s all taken its toll on me. I think yesterday just kicked me unexpectedly.

@SJT89 You have about 3 months SMP left which is probably how long it could take to find a new job and give notice.

Definitely do the KIT days it’s extra money and you enjoyed it. Try really hard not to respond to the two manages who belittled you - they are trying to get you dismissed so are deliberately goading you. Keep a note if he incidents to build up a timeline.

On your next KIT day sit with HR and ask them directly what will be your role when you return from mat leave. Also by sitting with them they will get to know you and realise the other managers are shit stirring and that you are not abrupt.

You do have protections under the Equality Act. A right to return to your old job or an equivalent role in terms of responsibility, T & CS etc.

Its good you are looking for other jobs and planning to contact ACAS.

Good luck

Right so I have just checked my work calendar for what awaits me this week and I have a HR meeting at 9am Friday with no other apps booked in so I’m unsure what to expect and if I hadn’t had access to my schedule I’d have been caught completely off guard. The meeting also has the three managers from my team on it.

The meeting could be a lot of things but be prepared for it to be a Without Prejudice Meeting. This is where they offer you a settlement agreement to leave.

If it is, do not agree to anything, listen to their offer and say you need time to think about it. Point out that it is maternity discrimination not to allow you to return to your old role or an equivalent one. They clearly had a role for you but chose to fill it with your maternity cover. Explain you are going to get legal advice before you respond and that you understand they are required to pay for this.

It could also be, we have three jobs which one do you want type of meeting.

Personally, I would contact HR and say I notice you have put a meeting in for Friday can you tell me what it’s about. If you can, say I hope it’s about what job I will be doing on my return.

Wow, I can't believe someone thinks it's appropriate to start giving someone major negative feedback based on two keeping in touch days! Can you think what, in particular, you might have done to upset people as this sounds extremely heavy handed! I'm afraid I have no advice, I'm just so shocked that they're making you have meetings with HR when you are on leave.

I'm shocked also. In my experience, KIT days are so casual and laidback so I can't imagine there being tensions like this. I also find it strange they would start having HR meetings whilst you're on Mat leave. That's asking for trouble.

@Princessglittery I’ll give HR a ring tomorrow to see what the meeting is regarding then I’ll make a strategy plan with a list of things for Friday. It’s not going to be a settlement otherwise the Managing Director would be present too and he wasn’t on the calendar.

@grumpytoddler1 I believe I was a bit abrupt due to how I was spoken to, to be honest my
hormones are still not right and at the time I was at the end of a two month period for reasons unknown to anyone. HR is a new internal role so I believe she is trying to start her position with a bang.

@Sleepyquest I was under the impression I’d be in a different role upon my return so tensions were a high when finding out my maternity cover has been given the permanent role I was under the impression I would be returning to.

@SJT89 oh wow yes I would be the same. Well I'd probably burst into tears! They are acting appallingly and very unprofessionally. Speak to Pregnant then Screwed for sure. I hope you can sort it out. You don't want to be worrying about that right now when you have a tiny human to look after

Right well after an entire week of fretting and not sleeping it was absolutely fine. Before hand I went into the HR lady’s office and explained how I didn’t think this was right discussing how I am while on maternity leave based on at the time two KIT days and explained my mental health, how I wasn’t ready to return to work, etc. She was very understanding and nice, explaining it’s an informal chat not a meeting and we didn’t have to do it today if I wasn’t up to it but I said I’m there now and may as well get it over with so as I’m not freaking out come February.
Managers came in, said it wasn’t any of them who had complained about me it was several support workers and the admin team, I’d only seen one support worker which I can’t think slightly how I could have upset him and I asked what was it I had apparently done. They couldn’t answer me, they kept going back and forth to one another ‘well I wasn’t in that week’, ‘well we didn’t hear it’, ‘my mind has gone blank now!’ So I’ve come to conclusion as they wouldn’t actually explain what it was I was supposed to have done or said it is bullshit, possibly fabricated to try to exert their authority. They also said they don’t want me to think I’m disliked as I’m not, I’m a ‘valued member of the team’ with my work being ‘exceptional’.
Thanks for all the support and advice, I will continue looking for another job and hope for the best.

@SJT89 hopefully you will sleep better tonight knowing that the meeting is over with

@SJT89glad the meeting went OK. It sounds like they want you to stay. Definitely don’t hand in your notice until you have a new job and are near the end of your mat leave.