I’m in a work dilemma. It's crippling. Of course I'm grateful to be in such a privileged position but my God do I actually NOT know what to do for the first time ever! It's killing me!
Job A - current role) amazing directors (have become my friends) guaranteed career progression, unlimited emotional support, and flexi hours (in that I can WFH if I have an appointment) and I can technically steer the job whichever way I like.
However, I'm running the show completely (which means any personal growth will be subject to me building the company pretty much on my own). I have no staff below me yet (new company), tiny office (very lonely at work - a lot of the days I'm alone in the office), and it's not using all my skills at all. Although on the face of it, the career journey seems (and is) amazing! The day to day is extremely tedious just running the ship alone and working alone! I'm desperate to be part of a bigger team and workplace. My current small office is starting to feel very suffocating, and my morale is very low, because although my bosses are very lovely, they rely heavily on my knowledge to keep things moving, and don’t actually want to learn from me. They just want me to do it all and I spend a lot of time ‘counselling and convincing them’ on what is best for business, as opposed to actually using my brains in a way that is stimulating.
It doesn’t help that the finances aren’t there to support business growth, which makes me wonder how many years it’ll take to actually achieve a decent size business and how realistic is the actual career progression vision?
Also, Mon to Fri job so don't get days off with my DH who works weekends.
Job B) DHs company have offered me the same job as his without a formal interview! Commission based so I can make as much money as I work hard for, and that's a lot of money! DH is literally the best in his company so has offered to support my training! We won't be working in the same office! *could you imagine that?! ITS A NO GO! *
It’s a new trade (I’m currently in healthcare – which has its woes). New job is sales. No guaranteed career progression, back to being a number (and NOT my own boss!) and only as good as my numbers, and very repetitive obviously selling the same product over and over!
Also, shift based which means no more evenings on working days. Longer hours. But will get same day off as DH.
I’ve invested a lot of years into staying in healthcare (private company’s). But in my current role I simply feel dumbed down, my motivation has gone, I've seen my language skills slowly wither, and it's not mentally challenging. Yes I can grow the company, but I'm going at it alone for someone else. It has niggled away at me for months that I'm building a company for someone else (when they really don’t care about the business as such, but just the money that it can make - which is fair play as investors but not exactly the picture I was sold). Current bosses want to desperately pull back from running their own business which only adds to the depressing thought of me being even more alone, and again reinforces my inner battle of 'why am I doing this much for someone else'? I will have potentially one or two people work for me over the next year, but the bosses have their own thoughts on new employee roles, which isn't to support my 'department' at work, but rather other departments they want to develop! It's very frustrating!
I wouldn’t look for the same role elsewhere. I’ve been in the industry long enough to know it’s not easy finding good people to work for. On the same token, I question if I’m also just fed up of how messy healthcare has become (having moved from place to place), and is it time to just walk away and now and try other things as scary as it may be?! Which is why I am not fussed to be in sales – at least time and hard work = money!
Help please. It’s all just so messy in my head right now and I really don’t know what to do.