Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

GENUINELY NEED HELP DECIDING. DO I STAY DO I GO?! PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!

18 replies

Realtalk2022 · 14/11/2022 10:56

I’m in a work dilemma. It's crippling. Of course I'm grateful to be in such a privileged position but my God do I actually NOT know what to do for the first time ever! It's killing me!

Job A - current role) amazing directors (have become my friends) guaranteed career progression, unlimited emotional support, and flexi hours (in that I can WFH if I have an appointment) and I can technically steer the job whichever way I like.

However, I'm running the show completely (which means any personal growth will be subject to me building the company pretty much on my own). I have no staff below me yet (new company), tiny office (very lonely at work - a lot of the days I'm alone in the office), and it's not using all my skills at all. Although on the face of it, the career journey seems (and is) amazing! The day to day is extremely tedious just running the ship alone and working alone! I'm desperate to be part of a bigger team and workplace. My current small office is starting to feel very suffocating, and my morale is very low, because although my bosses are very lovely, they rely heavily on my knowledge to keep things moving, and don’t actually want to learn from me. They just want me to do it all and I spend a lot of time ‘counselling and convincing them’ on what is best for business, as opposed to actually using my brains in a way that is stimulating.

It doesn’t help that the finances aren’t there to support business growth, which makes me wonder how many years it’ll take to actually achieve a decent size business and how realistic is the actual career progression vision?

Also, Mon to Fri job so don't get days off with my DH who works weekends.

Job B) DHs company have offered me the same job as his without a formal interview! Commission based so I can make as much money as I work hard for, and that's a lot of money! DH is literally the best in his company so has offered to support my training! We won't be working in the same office! *could you imagine that?! ITS A NO GO! *

It’s a new trade (I’m currently in healthcare – which has its woes). New job is sales. No guaranteed career progression, back to being a number (and NOT my own boss!) and only as good as my numbers, and very repetitive obviously selling the same product over and over!

Also, shift based which means no more evenings on working days. Longer hours. But will get same day off as DH.

I’ve invested a lot of years into staying in healthcare (private company’s). But in my current role I simply feel dumbed down, my motivation has gone, I've seen my language skills slowly wither, and it's not mentally challenging. Yes I can grow the company, but I'm going at it alone for someone else. It has niggled away at me for months that I'm building a company for someone else (when they really don’t care about the business as such, but just the money that it can make - which is fair play as investors but not exactly the picture I was sold). Current bosses want to desperately pull back from running their own business which only adds to the depressing thought of me being even more alone, and again reinforces my inner battle of 'why am I doing this much for someone else'? I will have potentially one or two people work for me over the next year, but the bosses have their own thoughts on new employee roles, which isn't to support my 'department' at work, but rather other departments they want to develop! It's very frustrating!

I wouldn’t look for the same role elsewhere. I’ve been in the industry long enough to know it’s not easy finding good people to work for. On the same token, I question if I’m also just fed up of how messy healthcare has become (having moved from place to place), and is it time to just walk away and now and try other things as scary as it may be?! Which is why I am not fussed to be in sales – at least time and hard work = money!

Help please. It’s all just so messy in my head right now and I really don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 14/11/2022 11:05

I'm not convinced the job offer is the right one for you but agree you need to change something about your existing job, or find a (different) new one.

You don't sound like you'd love the job offer one, and I'd be suspicious about an offer with no kind of vetting.

Realtalk2022 · 14/11/2022 11:10

Whataretheodds · 14/11/2022 11:05

I'm not convinced the job offer is the right one for you but agree you need to change something about your existing job, or find a (different) new one.

You don't sound like you'd love the job offer one, and I'd be suspicious about an offer with no kind of vetting.

Thank you. I agree, I'm not crazy about job offer. Oh... it's a HUGE national company! They take referrals and my DH is close friends with senior management. So it naturally comes with perks.

OP posts:
tickticksnooze · 15/11/2022 08:45

Job B sounds hideous.

Look for a new role, sure, but not that one.

Realtalk2022 · 15/11/2022 09:48

tickticksnooze · 15/11/2022 08:45

Job B sounds hideous.

Look for a new role, sure, but not that one.

It really isn't. I'm not sure if I miscommunicated my views on it but it's actually a great company -_-

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 15/11/2022 09:55

i think sales is a very difficult thing to be good at, would you definitely get the same day off as your partner? I would look for something else, or try and make your current role work better for you.

Hoppinggreen · 15/11/2022 10:02

I can see why you might want to leave where you are, although I am in a similar position and love it.
However, I don’t think the new job sounds right. Do you have a lot of experience in Sales? The fact that they would just offer you a job with no interview is a bit concerning and working with your DH might not be great either. Would you rather not get a job on your own merit rather than the fact that your H is a top performer?

GetOffTheRoof · 15/11/2022 10:03

Can you sell things though? What's the product they sell?

What is the actual benefit to you of the job change? What's the basic package of salary? Sick pay, maternity, pension etc?

What happens if you don't make any sales? How quickly will you be earning sales - ie how long is the training?

What's the turnover of staff in this role if they are recruiting like this?

I'd be hugely suspicious of being offered a job in sales with no background in sales - this isn't normal head hunting.

Realtalk2022 · 15/11/2022 10:15

Gizlotsmum · 15/11/2022 09:55

i think sales is a very difficult thing to be good at, would you definitely get the same day off as your partner? I would look for something else, or try and make your current role work better for you.

My current job involves sales so it's something I am confidently successful in :)

Yes, would definitely get the same day off as husband :)

It's near enough impossible to make it work where I am because I truly am working alongside bosses who truly need babysitting -_- so if I stay, I have to accept I am signing up for doing a lot of handholding. Just the thought of it is quite jarring to be honest. Get's exhausting to have to explain things to people whose business it actually is!

OP posts:
Realtalk2022 · 15/11/2022 10:17

Hoppinggreen · 15/11/2022 10:02

I can see why you might want to leave where you are, although I am in a similar position and love it.
However, I don’t think the new job sounds right. Do you have a lot of experience in Sales? The fact that they would just offer you a job with no interview is a bit concerning and working with your DH might not be great either. Would you rather not get a job on your own merit rather than the fact that your H is a top performer?

I did get the job on my own merit :) I have a cracking CV and when I say I wasn't interviewed, it was more of a chat and they asked me a few key questions. They didn't just give me the job based on being his wife or his performance. He did have to convince them that I was brilliant in my skill set etc :)

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 15/11/2022 10:22

Oh I see, apologies
I still think it’s not a great option though

Hoppinggreen · 15/11/2022 10:23

I would also not want to work somewhere where my DH had “convinced” them to employ me

pippinsleftleg · 15/11/2022 10:27

I don't like the sound of either job!

Job B you aren't crazy about, and your DH had to convince them to take you on? And he'd be supporting your training? This has disaster written all over it.

Job A it sound slide you are doing all the leg work to make someone else rich.

Is there an option C? Can you start a company similar to job A? At least you would be working for your own benefit.

eurochick · 15/11/2022 11:04

Now is not a great time for sales in most markets. We are entering a recession. And I wouldn't want to put all my eggs in one basket to work in the same company as my husband either, unless it is something absolutely recession-proof.

Realtalk2022 · 15/11/2022 13:11

pippinsleftleg · 15/11/2022 10:27

I don't like the sound of either job!

Job B you aren't crazy about, and your DH had to convince them to take you on? And he'd be supporting your training? This has disaster written all over it.

Job A it sound slide you are doing all the leg work to make someone else rich.

Is there an option C? Can you start a company similar to job A? At least you would be working for your own benefit.

It's hard to explain without a really long post that I did not get Job B through some under the table deal, where they would take me on just because H works for them. When I say convince, I meant in the sense, he had to still put in a good word for me, because they really don't just take anybody on. And yes H has a very good relationship with senior management, and anywhere you go, it has it's perks of being able to recommend people who don't have as tough a time trying to secure the job. I had more of a chat than an interview, but the rest of the process still has to pass through HR.

@pippinsleftleg I would love to start my own as option C but I don't have the investment funds needed. I almost did secure investment but it fell through last minute sadly, so I kind of feel stuck.

I am after some more thought thinking to make it work somehow where I am (learn some more along the way) pull up my socks and rise above the niggles and the issue of 'doing it for someone else', because staying will give me more experience under my belt and that's not such a bad idea all things considering with the recession and that it is my field of interest long term

OP posts:
JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 15/11/2022 13:26

What's wrong with taking job B with the intention of it being for 2 years max? You clearly don't like your current job so take the job offered to give you time with your husband and time to earn some good ££ to either set up your own business or move on to what you do want to do.

Just don't look at it as a forever move, it's just a great move now to get you out of job you're really unhappy in.

Swampthing55 · 15/11/2022 13:34

Sales roles don't usually involve an interview, it is a chat. Commission only they aren't taking a risk are they? If you can't do it you don't get paid so they've not lost anything. If you are not used to working like this the learning curve will be hard. Ask for minimum wage whilst you or training or you will be seriously in the shit if you can't do it. I make six figures most years commission only but it took a decade to get this good. It's not an easy ride.

pippinsleftleg · 15/11/2022 13:35

Realtalk2022 · 15/11/2022 13:11

It's hard to explain without a really long post that I did not get Job B through some under the table deal, where they would take me on just because H works for them. When I say convince, I meant in the sense, he had to still put in a good word for me, because they really don't just take anybody on. And yes H has a very good relationship with senior management, and anywhere you go, it has it's perks of being able to recommend people who don't have as tough a time trying to secure the job. I had more of a chat than an interview, but the rest of the process still has to pass through HR.

@pippinsleftleg I would love to start my own as option C but I don't have the investment funds needed. I almost did secure investment but it fell through last minute sadly, so I kind of feel stuck.

I am after some more thought thinking to make it work somehow where I am (learn some more along the way) pull up my socks and rise above the niggles and the issue of 'doing it for someone else', because staying will give me more experience under my belt and that's not such a bad idea all things considering with the recession and that it is my field of interest long term

If you almost secured investment then try again!

Realtalk2022 · 15/11/2022 15:01

pippinsleftleg · 15/11/2022 13:35

If you almost secured investment then try again!

This isn't as easy as asking someone for some chocolate :) we're not talking small time money ;-)

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page