Not first post I’ve nc. Sorry there’s a bit of backstory not sure how relevant but don’t want to drip feed.
Colleague at my work is more senior than me and in a different team. Unfortunately at a work party we both got very drunk and kissed. It didn’t go any further despite his best efforts and we each got a stern talking to at work. Since then there were some flirty messages and he wanted to meet up. I strung him along a bit, ashamed to admit I was just a bit bored but not really interested. I later found out he had a girlfriend and asked him why hadn’t he told me. Things trailed off naturally shortly after and all seemed fine.
Recently was told by a trusted colleague and friend that he claimed I was so drunk and had thrown myself at him and wouldn’t leave him alone and I’m obsessed with him. I guess he wanted to try and put the blame on me and maybe his ego was a bit damaged because I wouldn’t go home with him. Annoying but not really a massive deal if it makes him feel better cos I don’t think anyone believes it 🤷♀️
Now I’ve been told that he’s insinuating there’s something going on with me and the director of the company. A few colleagues had alluded to something going on and at the time I thought it was a bit odd but told myself I was being paranoid. There were wink/nudge comments and people saying I get special treatment or I can get away with things because I’m favoured. I’m really disgusted, the director is married and he’s my boss, I don’t want people thinking it’s true. But there’s nothing I can do is there? If I confront him he’ll just deny it.
We don’t have HR ( would it even be something for HR to deal with?)
This man seems to get away with all sorts of poor behaviour which is no secret- incidents with his expenses, being drunk/hungover at trade shows, shagging about on work trips despite now being engaged, even a customer commented that he wouldn’t leave one of his female staff alone and was constantly flirting with her.
I have to work with him more closely soon and feel really uncomfortable about the whole situation. I feel so repulsed by him and I have lost all respect for him. I’m worried I’ll struggle to be professional. I can’t believe this story I know it just sounds like pathetic teenage drama, how embarrassing, I just want to do my job and to be honest I wish I’d never been told this information and could carry on in ignorant bliss.
On top of it all my self esteem is wrecked because I’m blaming myself for being so foolish in the first place. I have to keep reminding myself it’s not just me at fault here.
Any advice appreciated.