I don't know where to start with this one, have obviously name changed and feeling rather fragile so please be nice. Apologies as I think this might be long.
I work in a local authority. City/district level council (south west England if relevant). I have been in my current role for under a year but have been in the authority for several years. Prior to this job I have had excellent evaluations including a commendation (internal staff award thing).
I have worked really hard since I joined and done what I think is a good job. For whatever reason, I have never fit into the team and have been on the outside from the start. There are four people in the structure above me (before management level).
Recently (probably last 4-5 months in particular) this has manifested in repeated complaints about my work to my manager. Some of the things said have been outright lies (such as my attitude to certain tasks being poor - not the case at all, I was given a piece of work to do that I completed immediately but was chastised for having no enthusiasm for it), and my daily tasks as part of the team have been described as slow or incomplete more than once (also not true).
Recently I have been asked why a regular piece of work wasn’t completed quickly when it was, but even so in the same week I was told to take my time in doing it. These are just a couple of examples.
When I was off sick due to D&V (thanks to my kids!) in September, lots of work didn’t get done and the same colleagues who have been complaining about my work admitted this was because I wasn’t around to do it. One thing in particular had a significant problem develop because it didn’t get done in time. Again, they freely admitted that they’d got behind because of my absence. You’d think this would make them recognise that actually I did work hard but apparently not. Within two days of being back from sick leave there were more moans about what I did and how I did it.
I have been bending over backwards to please these people but I have now realised it doesn’t matter what I do because it will never satisfy them. I don’t believe I can ever meet their standards because they are imo completely unreasonable and unobtainable (since some actually contradict each other). They are telling my manager I am not doing pieces of work that I am constantly working on. I do not report to them but they seem to think I should. I have a feeling I am being scapegoated because two of the four people above me have not been completing their work in a timely way and one is not easily contactable when working from home so I suspect is not actually working for a lot of the time. Focusing on me gives them a shield against criticism I think and has been easy to do because they act as one. It’s honestly like the mean girls gang.
I am currently off sick with stress and anxiety due to the above and can’t see any way I will ever be able to return to the role. I am on the verge of panic attacks just going into the office and my heart is pounding just thinking about work.
I am job hunting but frankly I have zero confidence left because of what’s happened. I am trying really hard to find something but obviously nothing is guaranteed.
Due to some time sensitive work projects, my team are going to be up shit creek if I don’t return or resign so they can recruit. They really need the role filled either by myself or someone else asap. Given that it’s local government, I don’t know how likely this is, but I want to offer to resign in return for my redundancy entitlement or six months pay (broadly the same figure). I honestly have no idea how good or bad an idea this is.
My manager has behaved sympathetically to me but I don’t know how much they trust my word on all this. I hid it for a long time. They have seen me crumple mentally to the point of crying in the office but only very recently.
I don’t really know what or why I’m asking tbh. I am just feeling quite low with it all. Any advice gratefully received.