Should I tell work I don’t like wfh and don’t want to be in a remote team?

[Eastereggs1]

As title really.

I don’t really like working from home (for a lot of reasons) and in an ideal world, would like to be in the office with my team 2-3 days a week, preferably with the wider dept one of those days.

However my firm is very very flexible, say people should be in a few times a week and will never force people to come in. Some days I go in and the office is busy, other days (like today), there are 4 in on the whole floor which should seat about 50. They have also started hiring 100% remote workers, so of my team of 4, 2 are fully remote and I will only see them once a quarter.

I hate it and I just can’t face another 30 years of working like this. It’s frustrating because I only started in March and when I was interviewing I specifically said I found working from home difficult so would like to be in the office and they said fine people will be in all the time. It’s just not worked out that way but it’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just really difficult because I like everything else about the firm!

Also, so as not to drip feed! I was at my first firm for 6 years, then moved and was at that firm for 6 months and have now been here for 8 months.. My notice period is 3 months.

Anyway I’ve been half looking at jobs for a few weeks and reached out to a recruiter this week to try to see what was out there and what she thought. She basically said she understood but she thought it was a shame to leave this firm because it is a good firm and I like the work. She said maybe I should raise it with someone before making a move. I have mentioned it to my manager but it’s awkward because she does work remotely 😬

I have regular 6 week catch ups with another manager so could raise it with him
next week (although I don’t really like him lol), or I have an appraisal with a partner (big boss) in a few weeks so could raise with them then.

I’m just not sure if I should bother because I’m not sure what can be done?? Like they aren’t going to change their whole policy just for me! But then it’s something they is really affecting me and my work so maybe it does need to be said.

Any thought appreciated! Sorry this is so long.

I think searching for the kind of firm you want is going to get harder and harder in future tbh. It seems you are free to be in the office as much as you like but I don't think you can't ask that others be in as well just to add to the atmos. More people may come in over winter and people who like being in, will be in. I think it would be limiting to insist on being in the office ft for all now - you'd miss out on a big pool of staff / opportunity

Flexible and remote work are the main incentives I have to offer good talent at the moment. Wages aren't great, so flexibility is all I have that's attractive. If I were your manager, I wouldn't be changing anything across the rest of the team, particularly if they were hired 100% remote. I would ask you to work on why you don't enjoy working flexibly with your colleagues and see what you could work on for yourself to improve your own perception of the new way of working.

I agree. The risk is that anywhere else will be the same.

At our place Friday is dead. Mon and Tues so so and Weds and Thurs pretty full. I usually only go in on a weds or thurs as a result.

Can you work out the patterns of when its busy? Or can you organise a F2F meet once a week even if its informally kind of hey what day are you planning on being in next week and do you want to discuss X then or get lunch/a coffee?

Can you also give yourself nice rituals on office days that aren't about people to make those days more rewarding. A takeaway coffee on the way in, a posh sandwich. A walk by the canal, a browse around a market at lunch.

Or similar but on home days to make them more bearable?

What is it you don't like?

Lack of atmosphere? Try hiring a desk in one of those shared serviced offices? Or a cafe?

Unfortunately for you a lot of people like WFH/Half in half out models. It's great for those with disabilities that make it harder for them to come into offices. It means people can do a spot of housework in their lunch break and manage their time better.

What would work? Would a day when everyone is in during the week work? That won't work for those who are hired solely to wfh though so tbh you are best off looking for either a role you are happy to do within this model or a job where the working model suits you. Good news for you is a lot of companies are having to pay more to get the candidates when they want people to come in.

Could you find people who like going to the office and arrange to go in on the same day?

What sort of field are you in? I'm non clinical NHS and a lot of us are back in the office now. With maybe one or two days a week at home.
I hate WFH so always go in and there is always at least 50% of the office in.
Just as a suggestion for a workplace that might be more suited to you?
Can't speak for all NHS trusts obviously.

Thanks everyone. It’s a difficult situation isn’t it. I know wfh/remote working has benefited a lot of people/companies but it’s just not for me.

The recruiter I spoke to said there are firms here that want people in 2/3 days a week but I worry that in a few years they will change their minds and I’ll be in the same position. I’m in tax so HMRC is an option but could take a while for a role to be available.

Otherwise I have to change career and throw away all those exams I had to do 😭

I know I would have to change career if thr only alternative was working from home. I gave it a good shot, I just can't do it.

It's similar in my office.

We're fully flexible/hybrid now, so if you want to go in that's fine, but wfh is also fine.

I'm one that chooses to wfh and would happily only go in once a month for the big all dept meeting. Personally I get loads more done at home, I'm much more productive without the noise and interruptions of the office.

But out of our team of 30 odd there are 3-4 people that really prefer being in the office and are putting pressure on management to encourage more people to come in. Most of us much prefer to wfh.

I don't think there's a solution to this really. It's a shame if you'd prefer being in the office with lots of people about. But you can't force others to want to come into the office more. I don't think wfh/hybrid is going to go away.

What is it that you prefer about being in the office?

By the way, what profession is it? I work in data and the introverts far outweigh the extroverts, so I can't see it changing really.

I wasn’t keen on working from home, I like to be around people. I arranged with my manager I would work half the week in the office, then found other people were coming in because someone else was there.

I hear you.
I work in the office 2 or 3 days a week and try to overlap with my boss. But we are the only regular ones our of our team of 5.
I have widened my circle, made friends with people on other teams that work the same days as me, initiated going out for lunch.
That has made a big difference to me.

I think you'll struggle as hybrid / remote is seen as such a benefit.

Personally, I'm 100% remote as my team sit in a different country. I've been into the office a few days this year for ad hoc reasons though, but I really don't like it. I just work better when I don't have to commute (it's a long one) and socialise all day.

My company has a spreadsheet that everyone is asked to update weekly to show if they're in the next week. Would something like that help? You'd at least know who will be there.

Do you not have any kind of shared booking sytem so you can see who is in and choose your office days that way? Useful for seeing who avoid as well. Mondays and Fridays, I'd assume, are universally quieter because of being popular A/L and P/T workers days off.

Well the only thing management can do is tell other staff they must come into the office so you're not lonely, which hopefully is not something they'd do and would make everyone hate you anyway, so I wouldn't raise it with them.

The only thing you can do is arrange a Teams or WhatsApp group where people discuss when they're going into the office so you can have a group who go on together. Obviously you can't bug people to though.

Otherwise move to another job where the culture is that work are present everyday. There are plenty about still.

Yeah there’s a booking app which is handy but not great as it only shows which desks have been booked but not who is sitting there. We had a spreadsheet at my last place which I did suggest but apparently it would be too confusing to have to book in twice and IT get really defensive about the booking app they designed 😅

There’s also a lot of last minute going into office/deciding not to, which is fair enough if it’s flexi working. Like on Thursday I had booked onto a bank of 4 desks because I knew another team of 3 usually sat there on a Thursday, but they all decided not to come in last minute because it was raining!

When I first started I used to message the group chat but I just feel it’s a bit high school-ish to do that every week?

Gads it’s so tricky.

I’m a tax adviser (private client) in an accountants firm and I’m as introverted as they come 🤣 But I’ve always worked better with people around me, not sure why.

Because I don’t focus so well I end up working til 8, 9, 10pm at night to get time on my timesheet, it’s a nightmare. I’m a chronic overthinker and end up just stressing myself out over the tiniest things. Plus because i’m quieter and not v assertive I find it’s easier to be overlooked. Teams calls are difficult too because I just get talked over! It would happen in the office too tbf but it’s so easy to sit and dwell on things at home.

I don’t really want to be pals with colleagues, just need a wee bit of chat to get me through the day.

I'm the same as you, OP. Remote working has some benefits but my office is like yours - you can go in and nobody else is there.

I have to stay where I am for now, but when I look for my next job I will be looking for somewhere where there are team days on set days of the week (minimum 2 days, preferably 3).

Our firm has already lost a couple of (good) people due to the fact that the office is completely dead now. Presumably it's picked up a few workers who love the flexibility.

I know everyone on Mumsnet just loves wfh (they're sooooo much more productive at home!) but I'm definitely not one of them.

In your situation I would leave and look for a company that sees the value in office-based work.

@Eastereggs1 you mentioned HMRC, you may find a similar situation regarding WFH with quiet days in the office.

As it’s the companionship of other people rather than wanting to be with your team that’s easier to solve. As a pp said avoid Mon and Fridays, keep booking a desk where people usually sit and when you get in to the office (if you can) move so you are sitting with others. There will be colleagues who feel like you, try to find them.

On days you WFH consider working from a coffee shop, library or work hub (if these exist in your area).

Working from a public space isn’t really an option unfortunately - I work in personal tax so wouldn’t really be appropriate to be having conversations about clients finances!

I updated my CV last night and I’m going to look for new jobs. It’s affecting my work a lot.

@Eastereggs1 i completely get it (I also work in tax) and find full time wfh a bit soul destroying.

Could you look at Big4? As the work force skews young there tends to be more people in at least a few days a week.

It might sound silly, but what about listening to an 'office ambiance' while you work - there are loads on youtube?

Sometimes your ears just need a bit of a 'buzz', and it's worth a try as the lowest stakes solution - perhaps combined with going in on Weds and Thurs, it might be enough to get you through the week?

Totally get it - I was told after covid that my job was moving to fully remote. Quickly found somewhere where I could be in as often as I wanted, and there is usually quite a few people in. Previous workplace were astounded when I told them the reason I was leaving - apparently because "everyone" loves WFH I should just suck it up. I did tell them that if they can't tell people to come in to keep me happy (which I absolutely would never ask for), then they shouldn't be surprised when I find something that suits me better...

Yanbu to feel your feelings but it sounds like the company fit isn’t quite right for you. Lots of people want the flexibility to wfh in full or in part and that can be incredibly successful and if so it will be cheaper for companies to work that way.

Look for a place with lots of young people, ie singletons in their 20s/30s. My place is a bit like that, about a third of the staff are in that group and they love coming in five days a week, lots of them started just before or during the pandemic so they are still learning. So whenever I'm in I always see that nice bunch of young enthusiastic people who create a lovely vibe. It would be awfully boring if all stafd are working mums / dads who try to mimise working hours to do housework / childcare / getting a bit of time for themselves.