Everyone seems to know my confidential health information

[Dryoven]

I've had a couple of days wfh because severe leg pain made it impossible to drive.

My injury is one of those comedy things you couldn't make up and having to take time out because of it (although I was working) seems a bit pathetic.

I've returned to the office this morning and everyone is asking how it is and wants the details of how it happened. On the face of it, it's supportive but there's also an element of gossip/a good laugh and feeling like I have to justify how bad it was/is.

I appreciate it's not an intimate personal illness, but surely my health information should still be confidential?

And what, if anything, should I do about it?.

Ask how they know about it? Who did you tell about the injury first? Was it your manager? Te them that next time you don't want your health gossiped about.

Wow that's not on, I would ask the person you report to how everyone knows.

But what does asking achieve other than make me whiny?

This has actually really upset me. Probably because I know in another life I might have made more effort to be there, but I've suffered a bereavement that makes the best of days a struggle and in these days where wfh is perfectly possible and reasonable, I didn't think it was necessary to pay a taxi for a 20mile journey to sit at a desk in pain, when just getting into the taxi would have caused significant pain. I couldn't put my foot to the floor. Ds was helping me to the loo!

I feel like everyone's been laughing/gossiping at my low pain threshold/lack of commitment.

My boss does loads about wellbeing and in lots of ways is excellent, but she does "privately" say lots of things that don't really fit that image. By privately I mean to multiple senior individuals, but then they'll do the same to their next in comand.

I'm actually furious and upset, but not sure I could talk about it without crying. It could actually be the thing that makes me go to dr for some proper time off.

Perhaps you should cry. Tell them that it is not amusing, you are in pain and you are allowed to take sick leave for that reason. Why do you feel the need to go along with their narrative? Surely other people at your place of work have been ill before. "Remember how hilarious it was, Janice, when you had your appendix out? I was in hysterics at that." Or perhaps you are not as snappy and menopausal as me! But you can say how you feel to people. Tell tham that the pain is so bad that you were worried you would vomit with it. No-one wants to be the person clearing up the chunks from the carpet.

People aren't laughing to my, I just feel that's the under current. But even if they're not, they shouldn't know.

I wasn't off sick, but wfh

I think in most work places this sort of thjng is easily shared oh x is out they hurt their leg, I don’t think many folks would really consider it to be confidential . But you do. So I think you need to speak to your manager about it.

Op I’m sorry about your bereavement, is there anyway this could be impacting or is there other issues like anxiety or depression? The thought everyone is laughing at you, gossiping about you, that you’re furious, upset, can’t talk about it without crying , need to be signed off due to it, indicates something else going on?

It's tricky because I suppose it's confidential.

However in my experience over the years and in various offices,
when someone is off sick then staff tend to know the reasons (unless it's personal). Generally people say "
*** be in today as they have a migraine/flu/twisted their ankle" etc.

You hurt your leg and worked from home?

I honestly think this is an overreaction on your part. You weren't off sick, it's not a personal issue and if you just say ' ha yes! I fell over the dogs toy' or whatever nobody will hide it a second thought

I don’t know- it seems to me that your pain and bereavement is clouding your judgement. I assume that the person in question said ‘X isn’t in because they hurt themselves or hurt their leg.’ If I was your colleague and then met you I would ask how you are and how you hurt yourself. Not to gossip but because it’s the human thing to do. I really don’t have (and most people don’t I suspect) the headspace to them compute whether or not if it was reasonable for you to WFH. You were hurt, you didn’t come in- that’s all that matters surely? Unless you know your colleagues are cruel I wouldn’t assume anyone was asking for that reason.

I'm sorry it sounds like you are having a tough time. I suspect their laughter isn't intended as a personal sleight and that office gossip will have moved on next week.

It might be worth thinking through what you would have said if the incident happened to someone else just to get some perspective. And perhaps look into bereavement support if it could help you. Next week is dying matters week - there should be publicity about national and local support you can access.

I am not sure anyone did laugh, did they? Or did you think they were asking so that they could laugh? As I said unless they had a history of being really cruel, no one would do that.

Anything medical should be kept confidential unless the person has given their permission for information to be shared with others. I would email your manager and say that you are concerned that the rest of the team seemed to know your medical details which you have not given permission to be shared. In future sickness / medical information is to be kept confidential and not shared with anyone other than HR. I have always challenged on this because frankly a lot of managers don't know when to shut up and have shared extremely personal information about other colleagues simply because they are in the mindset of sharing ...

well don't be mad with us, it's your boss or whomever you report sickness to that is out of line. Accept it now and have it spread around next time and it may not be as sanitary as a leg injury.

Undoubtedly my generally fragile position has affected my response, but I still think it's wrong and I wouldn't share my own staff's information like this.

Literally everyone from the cleaner up has asked for information about how I came to hurt myself so badly I couldn't get to work

Well if everyone is asking you for the information, then they can't have been told much, can they?

(and I'm a person who ended up in hospital after a kitten attack - imagine how that went down at work).

Yes, they can. They want to hear it from the horses mouyh that wat the gossip is more juicy.

*mouth
*way

Out of interest, if you were the manner in this scenario and another off member of staff asked “why is DryOven working from home today?” How would you respond?

Funnily enough this is part of my job in real life. I simply state X is absent and I will confirm a return date when I know more.

If staff choose to divulge details on their return that is entirely their business. Everyone will know it did not come from me.