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Original poster

Have ADHD but WFH? 🧠 What tips can you share with me please?

49 replies

Suteki · 28/10/2022 23:55

The only thing that works for me is working to a deadline that other people know about. EG it has come from a manager, or I have told colleagues I will get X over to them by Y date.

The biggest issue I have is… well, starting! Once I’ve started it seems better. But some days, I simply cannot start at all. The ADHD procrastination is real, and huge.

The second biggest issue is the famous ‘I can’t do the thing because I have the thing!’ or in other words - if I have a 2pm meeting then there isn’t a chance in heck of me being able to get started with any meaningful amount of work in the morning.

Please help! I’ve told myself that November will be when I finally crack this!

OP posts:
Aprilx · 29/10/2022 05:21

My tip would be to go into the office or find an office based job rather than WFH. That way you have to go in and get started.

AshGirl · 29/10/2022 06:47

You may got more constructive advice on the Neurodiverse Mumsnetters board.

I have ADHD and work hybrid, the things that have worked for me are:

  • meds(!)
  • pomodoro technique - and using visual timers generally
  • moving to a different space eg the kitchen to get me started
  • body doubling - getting my DH to sit with me while I get started
  • having a couple of days each week in the office to get the stimulation from other people

None of it worked perfectly, but hopefully this helps a bit. Good luck! Flowers

Hollyhead · 29/10/2022 06:53

I don’t know if I have adhd or not but since there’s been more awareness of what it’s like in females I strongly suspect I do.

I really struggle wfh, it makes my mind ‘over busy’ and the home jobs I have to do (which are many) seem to merge with what I need to do at work and then I feel overwhelmed.

Do you have a trusted colleague or friend who can hold you accountable? I sometimes send someone a list of what I intend to complete in the next hour to help me focus.

also headphones with binaural beats or brown noise playing sometimes help me stay focussed.

codehelp · 29/10/2022 06:56

Lots of coffee, loud fast music, and imagining that my manager could look up every keystroke and mouse movement I make (which in my industry is not beyond the realms of possibility).

So stimulants and paranoia in my case, though I'm not sure I recommend it Grin

I have also in the past messaged a colleague begging them to tell me to do something by X time, and that accountability has helped.

Aprilx · 29/10/2022 06:58

AshGirl · 29/10/2022 06:47

You may got more constructive advice on the Neurodiverse Mumsnetters board.

I have ADHD and work hybrid, the things that have worked for me are:

  • meds(!)
  • pomodoro technique - and using visual timers generally
  • moving to a different space eg the kitchen to get me started
  • body doubling - getting my DH to sit with me while I get started
  • having a couple of days each week in the office to get the stimulation from other people

None of it worked perfectly, but hopefully this helps a bit. Good luck! Flowers

Are you passive aggressively calling me non constructive? Well I beg to differ, I think going into the office is sound practical advice and it was a genuine reply. Going to the office is what people used to to pre 2020 and was always considered quite normal.

reallyworriedjobhunter · 29/10/2022 07:01

I also have ADHD and a big busy job. Shameless follow as I really need/want to get more done.

BumbleShyBee · 29/10/2022 07:02

Exercise in the morning so get the dopamine going.

Meds.

Work for 25 mins, break for 5.

Lots of alarms.

Whiteboards with your tasks / priorities so if you start daydreaming, you'll be reminded what you need to do next.

Regular Teams /Zoom catch ups with trusted colleague by which you need to have done a given task by the time of the call.

Headphones with white noise / music / whatever works for you.

AshGirl · 29/10/2022 07:03

@Aprilx Yes I absolutely was. There is nothing in OP's post that says she can work in the office - her role might be fully remote and she might not have an office to go into!

Swissnotswiss · 29/10/2022 07:04

The second biggest issue is the famous ‘I can’t do the thing because I have the thing!’ or in other words - if I have a 2pm meeting then there isn’t a chance in heck of me being able to get started with any meaningful amount of work in the morning.
Yes! I schedule something else that needs to be done in the morning. I write it in the diary and pretend it's official. Usually works. Otherwise I flounder.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 29/10/2022 07:07

@Aprilx I read @AshGirl reply as 'you may get more constructive advice...' (as in the neuro diverse board is good.)

Not 'you may get more costructive advice.... (as in that first remark wasn't helpful)

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 29/10/2022 07:08

Cross Post 🙄

CardiffMam · 29/10/2022 07:10

I write a list of everything thing that needs doing then choose the most vital ones to do that day. I then list them with the time to finish them, so giving myself smaller deadlines.

I also listen to "fast concentration music" on you tube on my headphones. This helps more than you could imagine. I don't check my phone for messages, I don't look at twitter and it shuts my mind off.

latelydaydreams · 29/10/2022 07:10

I found reclaim as an app helpful. I have slipped off the wagon but after the last two weeks of bone grinding low productivity I need to get back to it.

I also use ‘forest’ the app to block my phone so I can’t distract myself on that!

Aprilx · 29/10/2022 07:11

AshGirl · 29/10/2022 07:03

@Aprilx Yes I absolutely was. There is nothing in OP's post that says she can work in the office - her role might be fully remote and she might not have an office to go into!

If you have a problem with my response then just say it, passive aggressive is pathetic.

There is nothing in the OPs post that says she has a husband that can body double with her either but I am not picking your suggestions apart. But on balance of probability likely she can go into an office either with current job or through finding something else which she may find suits her better. It surely has to be one option worthy of consideration.

CardiffMam · 29/10/2022 07:12

@latelydaydreams Oh, yes, I also use the forest app. I'll have a look at Reclaim too.

latelydaydreams · 29/10/2022 07:20

Reclaim works with Google calendar- so I run it from a dedicated calendar- but you schedule regular tasks and then add in ad-hoc ones- it tells you when to do them according to the presets you put in- so you can schedule big jobs in small chucks and smaller jobs as one chuck or whatever suits you best- if you stick to time it’s excellent- you can tell it you need longer or delete things if you didn’t get it started- but it means you HAVE to put a deadline in- and then it tells you when to get started and finished.

I wish we used it as a company- but I do it myself and it has made a big difference.

I went on holiday- lost the plot a bit and then a few other things have taken over.

I have realised this week that I have been around 1/4 of my normal level of productivity, so I need to spend a bit of time getting back on it. There is one monthly job in particular I hate that takes 6/7 hours to complete and it gives me only that time to do it…… which means I get on with it.

AshGirl · 29/10/2022 07:22

@Aprilx I'm not the one who was so sensitive to a mild criticism that I had to 'call out' another poster. Why do you care if someone doesn't like your advice?

(PS This is my first MN bun fight after 13 years on the site! I feel like I truly belong now Wink)

Hollyhead · 29/10/2022 07:29

@Aprilx I honestly think you’re being a bit thin skinned, your advice was fine, but the advice from another poster to find additional constructive advice on another board was also a good idea.

Aprilx · 29/10/2022 07:30

AshGirl · 29/10/2022 07:22

@Aprilx I'm not the one who was so sensitive to a mild criticism that I had to 'call out' another poster. Why do you care if someone doesn't like your advice?

(PS This is my first MN bun fight after 13 years on the site! I feel like I truly belong now Wink)

You are the one that started with snidey comments, definitely not me but today I don’t feel tolerant of snide. Why do you care enough to make your snidey comments in the first place. Even more bizarre as you went on to make a fairly similar suggestion yourself anyway!

AshGirl · 29/10/2022 07:42

@Aprilx OK, I will bite one last time and then you can have the last word Smile

The OP asked for advice and you gave one direction that was not based on the information in the post ie 'you should do x'

I pointed the OP towards a board filled with actual ND people who might be able to help, and I also shared some techniques that have worked for me . I didn't suggest that any of these were right for the OP, or the only possible options.

Feel free to continue to critique my posts though, rather than consider why yours might not have actually been that constructive considering that a real person has asked for help and advice.

EarringsandLipstick · 29/10/2022 07:44

@AshGirl I think that @Aprilx suggestion was valid, as was yours & there was no need for you to be judgmental about it.

HouseInChaos · 29/10/2022 07:45

I agree with:

  • write a new to do list at the beginning of the day, split into short tasks.
  • setting an alarm for 25 minutes (Microsoft Windows has one)
  • aim to do one of your tasks in that 25 mins, then take the 5 minute break
  • put your phone a couple of paces away and don't look at apart from in the break use headphones with brown noise playing
  • tick off your to do list as you go

I wonder if there's a site you could sign up with a "buddy" system, so we feel like there's someone you have to answer to every day!

GreenLeavesRustling · 29/10/2022 07:49

Focusmate

it has been a complete game changer for me.

BabyYodasGotMyTeacher · 29/10/2022 07:51

Sorry to hijack but can someone point me at more info on the ‘I can’t do the thing because I have the thing!’ behaviour please?

Original poster
Suteki · 29/10/2022 10:56

Oh crumbs! I didn't want to start a bunfight. I completely forget about he ND board.

That said there has been some cracking advice on here. I love the idea of messaging a colleague with what I'm going to get done today. I'm definitely going to start that. Although Focusmate sounds very intriguing too so going to have a good read about that. Reclaim sounds interesting too!

Also the morning exercise is a good one to get me going and in itself that would bring so many benefits, I have a Bala ring gathering dust that I've been meaning to dust off!

Fantastic suggestions thanks all... peace and love..! Grin

OP posts: