Advice long term sick

[treathowuwant2btreated]

Hi, I'm new here so not sure how to start but here goes..... im a mum to a 9 year old boy and I've been off work long term sick for over a year now. I've had no support from my employer and they've also gone out of their way to make things as difficult as possible including not communicating with me, promising me help and also not advising me my pay was stopping which meant that when I was told to apply for ESA (SSP) I've now been told I am liable for a debt of nearly 1k which I wasn't told about and was as a result of someone not doing their job properly. I'm waiting on various benefits to help and feel at such a loss with it all and don't know where to turn next. (I have severe anxiety and depression and this has been further exacerbated by the lack of support I've received professionally). Where can I turn for help as some days I'm not that strong but I feel like I'm being punished for others not doing their jobs right. Any advice is really appreciated as everything is just so overwhelming at the moment. (I have worked all my life prior to this long term sickness). Sorry if I've gone on a bit, like I said I'm new here and just hoping for some advice or reassurances I'm not failing as a mom.

As a start, write down a timeline of what happened including dates, who you spoke to and what was agreed. Then access any records you have (emails, letters, texts etc) that show the contact and information you received from your employer and what you’ve requested from them. Save these in one folder (preferably away from any workplace devices).

Once you have that laid out, either:

Contact your union if you’re a member.
or
Contact ACAS a call and speak to one of their advisors. They’re really helpful and will give you clear advice and information on what you can do next. They’ should also give you a ref number and possibly the local office phone number so you can call back to follow up at a later date and they’ll know the background.

Obtain a copy of your employers policy regarding sickness absence and check what should be done by who at each stage.
Have you been referred to Occupational Health? If not, find out why not.
HR involvement? What is their role and what is the role of your manager. In my experience, people aren't clear on this and sometimes this causes problems.
As pp said, a timeline exercise would be very useful and if you are at all able, ask for a meeting with a Senior Manager and take your union rep if you have one or a friend who can give you some support. Document this request and ask to discuss tour ongoing absence and potential avenues for resolution.
If your employer refuses to engage then ACAS would be able to help.
Good luck, I hope you get some resolution soon

I'm not sure I understand who you owe to 1k to? DWP or work and exactly how it accumulated?

Other poster's advice is good solid advice but I can also understand that if you're suffering from anxiety and depression, even starting to get together records/evidence and contacting anyone for advice must feel really overwhelming. But if left until you feel better, it may just add to your mental and emotional state until it builds up to an unbearable pressure.
Are you getting any medical help such as counselling and medication? I hope you are getting all the help you need and start to feel better soon.
Do you have a good support network around you, as in family and friends, who could help you get through the muddle of paperwork and agencies?

Thanks for replying. So far, I've had 2 meetings with my direct line manager under stage 1 sick absence and had 2 meetings on stage 2 with the general manager. I've had 1 meeting with Occy Health around 3 months after being off and they reported back that I was unfit for any role in my workplace. My work offered at the time to pay for counselling via occy health but when it came to it, they wouldn't pay for it. Since then there's been no contact plan as to how much contact I or they want, zero support from my line manager and I've pretty much been cast aside.
The 1k debt is from UC due to receiving SSP from ESA and as the date eligible to claim from was so far back they said I was liable for this. I've told them that when I applied for ESA I wasn't told that this could happen as if I had I wouldn't have bothered applying.
With regards to the union, I've never joined my workplace one as my line manager is a union rep and whilst they're all meant to have confidentiality etc I know how my workplace works and this would not happen, so I've tried to look at alternative representation but not having much luck. All meetings I've had with work I've had a friend or family member there as my witness. I just feel really let down by work and don't understand why they've been the way they have. It's either no contact or saying they'll do something and don't do it.
I'll look into ACAS though! Thanks everyone for your replies I really appreciate any advice as I'm so overwhelmed at the moment and don't know where to turn and who to trust anymore x

The question from your employer's perspective is whether you are going to return to work within a reasonable period of time. If not, they will terminate your employment. You need to move heaven and earth to get back to work ASAP so that you can support your son financially, rather than focusing on what other people may or may not have done wrong.

Agree that the focus needs to be on how you can return to work. Possibly a staged return or part-time? Do you actually want to return to work?

@AlicentHightower wow, is your tower ivory too? I'm sure the OP knows her financial and maternal responsibilities without sanctimonious people giving this kind of advice. OP is unwell and is obviously struggling - should she just ignore her ill health, return to work regardless of OH telling her employer she is unfit for work? Truly, some people on here are just so bloody judgemental and downright bitchy.

What treatment have you had for your condition and what level of recovery have you made? You can ask for review by Occ health.

If you have been off sick for a year and you or Occ health can't give them a date for your return in the near future then you may well lose your job.
Most employers will expect you to have recovered from your illness by now or they will declare you unfit and terminate your employment.

You need to try to get back to work now, with reasonable adjustments made, or you will likely lose your job

In the kindest way, OP, your personal struggles aren't relevant to your employer. They want someone to come to work, do what they're paid for and go home again. If you can't do that, then do the decent thing and resign until your health is better.

I'm amazed you've gone a year to be honest, we manage people out at 6 months. You sound very angry towards them, but as an employer myself, it's a nightmare when someone goes off onto long term sick leave and there's no end in sight to it.

@Eggygirl Nobody's mental health is improved by unemployment and financial hardship. In contras, the structure of work helps many people, with appropriate reasonable adjustments in place. Returning to work is the absolute priority here. The only way OP will improve her position is by taking active steps to do so.

@AlicentHightower did I say it was? Try not twist my words. I was simply saying that telling OP that she needs to 'move heaven and earth' to financially support her DC was not helpful. I think maybe she might be aware of this and so you didn't need to be so condescending. Your original post said nothing about working and structure improving her mental health or anything helpful or productive, instead you made it sound like she was neglecting her DC for not returning to work. No-one knows OP's full story or why she is suffering with anxiety and depression, any underlying health problems or other reasons why this is happening to her and so simply telling her to get back to work may not be a viable option right now. Anyway, she was not asking advice about returning to work, she was telling us about issues arising from her being unable to work so why not comment helpfully on that or not at all

Agree with @Badger1970

In the kindest way, OP, your personal struggles aren't relevant to your employer. They want someone to come to work, do what they're paid for and go home again. If you can't do that, then do the decent thing and resign until your health is better

I think that employers aren't really supposed to contact people on sick leave.

You should have a contract. I think most places only pay staff for 6 months. They would then want to know if you planned to come back.

I appreciate you have had a difficult time but you have a responsibility to make sure you are letting the employer know your plans.

How long do you plan to stay off for?

It’s fairly standard for contact to decrease during long term sickness, someone’s work harassing them isn’t going to make them suddenly well enough to work.

Have you tried to contact them at all OP?
I think you need to seriously consider how long you think you will be off for, and what might help you to return. I’m guessing the mention of counselling means your absence is MH related?

How long have you been signed off for, and is your GP keeping you updated with regards to treatment, assuming you might either be on a waiting list or have a treatment plan?

I don’t quite understand the debt issue but doesn’t sound like it’s the fault of your employer?

If you do not think you’ll be able to return in the foreseeable future I think you have to plan for what you will do if you lose your job

Hi OP. Sorry you have had such a hard time. It does sound like work have had the meetings they should have had but normally stage 2 would move to stage 3 within 3 months and there would then be a hearing( if you had no proposed return date at that point) in which it would be likely your contact would be terminated.
Whilst employers should be compassionate in how they managed staff sickness, they also have to manage the business and if there is so sign of someone being able to return, they will ultimately need someone else in your role so the job gets done.
As a manager it is the worst bit of my role. I had a meeting this week with someone who has been off 6 months and I just wanted to cry with her, but the people who work with her are incredible stressed having to carry the extra workload etc and I have to manage both sides.
One thing I do say to staff is that if they are sick a lot, they need to know the sickness policy and understand impact on salary etc.
When you have a stage one meeting and outcome letter, they should attach a copy of the relevant policy too so you have access to it

Wow I wasn't quite prepared for a couple of those responses!! No one knows my responsibilities more than me and no one knows what's gone on to end up where I am.
I simply wanted advice on my work rights or the right people to speak to for help. I understand a business is a business and they've spoken about dismissal, which is up to them however any employer surely has a duty of care to their staff as outlined on the ACAS website.
I am undergoing counselling and also on medication now but to say how long I will be off is all dependant on the treatment. Thank you to those who have replied with kindness and constructive advice!

I have also reached out to the General manager to arrange another occy health appt and had no response from him in over a week. So when they're not engaging with me....how am I meant to get things sorted?

An employer has a duty of care but at the same time you haven't worked in a long whole year you also have a responsibility to them in my view - if you can't work you should resign so that they can fill the position and reduce any burden on the rest of your colleagues

@treathowuwant2btreated

I am undergoing counselling and also on medication now but to say how long I will be off is all dependant on the treatment.

I think the issue is that employers aren't technically supposed to contact you when you are signed off. So they can't just send you emails or texts asking how you are as that could be interpreted as them hassling you.

I think a year is a long time to be off and it sounds like you don't know when you plan to go back. So I don't know what your employer can do other than sit tight and wait for you to get better.

You need to consider that these people are busy at work & presumably they have to do your job while you're not there. So I don't imagine they have time to spare.

Sorry you are unwell but it's not your employers problem unfortunately to check in on you.

How long did you work there before you went off ill?

think the issue is that employers aren't technically supposed to contact you when you are signed off. So they can't just send you emails or texts asking how you are as that could be interpreted as them hassling you.

It is considered good HR practice for employers to keep in touch with staff off long term sick, to organise regular meetings to check on their progress and offer support and help to return to work when able. In my organisations this process would trigger at 3 months and there would be meetings every couple of months thereafter.

I think the main issue here is OP has now been too ill to work for a year and the treatment has obviously not improved her health enough for anyone to give the employer an indication of if/when she may be able to return. Unfortunately that doesn't bode well

When you are unwell for a long time everything can become overwhelming. Unfortunately it is not your employer's responsibility to tell you what you are entitled to over and above the sick pay you will receive. It can be really hard to work out what you should do.
It sounds like you are confused by sick pay and ESA.
When your SSP ended you would be entitled to apply for contributions based ESA. You can't get both. As you are on UC you should have informed them of any changes via your journal (wages reducing, going on to SSP, SSP ending then going on to ESA), they then work out your entitlement. If you delay in telling them this can cause an overpayment which they will claw back. None of that is your employer's fault.
It sounds like your employer has done what they are supposed to other than offering to pay for counselling and then refusing to do so. If you have the offer in writing I would go back to them and ask them to honour the commitment they made.
You should be able to negotiate a repayment plan with UC and not to have to pay it all at once.

I think that employers aren't really supposed to contact people on sick leave.

you think absolutely wrong.

The OP is accruing holiday whilst not working. That’s a cost to the employer.

How long should they wait for OP to get better? A decade? 50 years?

Most organisations would be making moves to dismiss at this stage. There’s no benefit in this situation for either party.

How long ago was the stage 2 meeting OP, and what does your workplace policy say about sickness management - do you believe it should have progressed to stage 3 by now?

I would give your manager another week to respond, they may be on leave. If you still do not think you will be able to return to work in the foreseeable future, I’m not sure another OH report will help, I’d consider what you want from them.

If your absence is being managed by a HR caseworker contact them if you do not hear from your manager.

I really sympathise with your illness, and hope you get better soon.
Purely speaking as a small business owner, if I had a staff member off sick for a year that would be really stressful. My heating bills have gone from £250 per month to £2500, I need to employ locum/temp staff to keep the business running if a staff member is on long term sick.
I'd be stressing out in case I did or said the wrong thing. I'd need so much HR support ( at a cost) just to navigate the situation.

It really doesn't sound like you are benefitting either yourself or the business by insisting you hang around or arguing over who made mistakes.
We are all only human.

Also to add, when it happened to us, staff morale was at an all time low as everyone else has to take up the slack. We are a mixed NzhS/private practice and it also ended up having a knock in effect on patient care. Cancelling patients etc.
staff will only have sympathy up to a point