Can’t stand my job any longer.

[IronNeonClasp]

I’m nearly 20 years in a public sector ‘career’ I never wanted, but it pays well. I was promoted 14 years ago and that’s it. The money I’m on was really bloody good prior to having 2 sets of maternity. Since going back to work from mat leave (2012) I’ve been trying to get a promotion to the next grade.
But now as a divorced single nearly 50yo with 2 in high school; its not so great especially with COL crisis. I’m fed up. I feel like I’m being phased out and the grades I want to attain are impossible to get to. I think my workplace are setting the bar higher and I do not fit the mould of promotional material. Following my recent failure at a promotion board I’m at an all time low seeing the people who got through. I feel like they want to promote young blood or people who can talk the talk, blag rather than doing practical work, and I am just middling/old and unteachable. And now my boss is bringing someone in to work on part of my role 2 days a week.

I need to support my kids, house, potentially move to a 3 bed (I share with my son atm) so feeling under enormous pressure on top of everything else.
Problem is I am highly skilled in a specific area - but not skilled enough to go freelance for example. The skill is potentially transferable.
I also don’t really agree with some of the workplace’s morals and it’s hugely top heavy.
I work full-time and I wild rather not. I just don’t know what to do or how to chance change? Is it too late and should I put up and shut up with existing workplace for another 20 years? Am I too old to retrain? Would a life coach help
or something?
Thanks if you’ve made it this far!

I don't have any answers but feel very much the same, except I have 'just' 10 years left. For you, with 20 years, I'd say make a move. 20 years of sh*t is too long.

Are the people who did get promoted all young and/or male?

If so, you have a pretty good case for discrimination right there.

No 20 years is too long, it's soul destroying and you aren't too old to retrain.
I"m 57 and have been at the same grade for a long time, mostly my own decision because my son has additional needs.
I'm done now though, I'm training to be a foster carer and will be leaving the civil service in the new year.
My dept is however very good at promoting women and is very family friendly.
Why don't you look at other parts of the public sector?
Good luck

Could you transfer to another department? You might be luckier with promotions there.

You could stick with your job but go part-time to 4 days, giving you time to spice up your life in other areas which might improve things.

Thank you so much for your lovely helpful responses. When I read back my post it felt entitled (I have a job) and spoilt. I’m just so frustrated and fed up that I haven’t done better.
Honestly it’s like banging my head on a brick wall. I just need to break the cycle but like I said it pays too well. I’m trapped.
Ive looked at condensed hours (couldn’t afford to drop to 4 day week) but it would be impossible with kids right now.
I am scouring for lateral roles but as said it’s hard to meet some of the criteria due to my skill set which is why I was wondering if there’s possibly a way to start up on the side or something.

Been in public sector for 16 years now and only ever moved up when moving to another department or org. It's hard to interview with people who know you, when you're not inclined to brag.

Try a move sideways it will give you a new lease of life for sure

Not too late to retrain! Depends what you want to do and if you already have experience elsewhere.

Im planning to hand in my notice next week as ‘I can’t takes it no more’. No job to go to but it’s that it self combust. 🙂

@IronNeonClasp could you ask to shadow some one in a different department during your next appraisal or maybe try a secondment?