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Weird feedback

5 replies

MableLucy · 15/10/2022 19:43

My male, 60yr old manager (who's been at the company about 7months recently gave me the following feedback in an appraisal
'What I like about you is you're not a bimbo, you've got a bit of something about you.......you don't use your femininity to your advantage...'
I was quite taken aback in the moment and didn't say anything apart from riiiiiiiight.
For context, im in my 30s working in a male dominated industry.
I suppose he was trying to be complimentary? But I've been reflecting on this scenario and I feel irritated that my hard work, contributions and just generally who I am has been reduced to simply my gender. I'm really disappointed that he couldn't have put a little more effort in and given me some decent feedback! Anyway-I'm quite worried he's going to say this kind of shit again, looking for any advice or witty comebacks! Tia

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 15/10/2022 20:47

Is he implying you should be sleeping your way to the top?

Sewwhatmrmagpie · 16/10/2022 08:48

It's extremely misogynistic- the inference being that you're not like all other women who are all using their feminine wiles to manipulate things. Don't for a second think he's being genuinely complimentary!

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 16/10/2022 08:49

The come back is going straight to HR and letting them know he’s made completely inappropriate comments relating to your sex on some formal feedback.

MableLucy · 16/10/2022 11:47

Thanks for the replies.
I will let HR know, maybe they can keep a record of my concerns.
I get other misogynistic vibes from him which make me hesitant to raise it directly- I don't imagine he'll respond well- perhaps I'll be demoted from my position as not a 'bimbo' to 'nag' or 'shrew'

OP posts:
bigblueyonder · 16/10/2022 11:56

I am picturing an old school type manager who is used to handling men and has little experience in managing females. But one for HR without a doubt, people who says these things should not be managing anyone, men or women.

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