Hello all, I hope this is the right board! ( I posted on the pregnancy board too)
im really struggling with my options and feeling guilty.
I’m a band 6 practitioner in a community mental health team. I only started this sept, and I’m already struggling with my own mental health/ pregnancy symptoms. I was previously off sick for 3 months before this role, I worked in a perinatal mental health role for a year, all whilst I was struggling/trying to conceive and had suspected fertility stuff investigated. I fell pregnant on my sick leave! It was a big surprise and I am over the moon, so I left perinatal and joined the CMHT as there too much similarities in the perinatal work and what I was still going through, if that makes sense.. the CMHT is worse, I can’t cope with the new founded perinatal anxiety and managing people who want to end their lives at the same time. I can’t stop crying usually.
I feel like I’m only holding on for the nhs maternity pay, I know full well I won’t go back, I can’t deal with all the crisis and risks. I need to admit that I can’t cope with it.
Manager did a preg risk ax but I still feel so alone, unsupported, guilt that I’m off again today, and I don’t want any more stress on myself and my baby. This is such a precious time. I already had to have a check up at hosp due to severe abdo pains and would hate myself if anything happened to my baby.
Not sure what my options are and what to do tbh!
thanks for reading