"Hero" colleague

[Notjammie]

I've been working with a colleague who sees herself as a hero for around 10 years now. We worked together in one department for 6 years and have worked together in this one for 4. She left the other one as she told me she didn't feel valued there and they didn't fight hard enough to keep her. A comment I always found strange. I left just because the department we're in now better matches my expertise. They didn't fight for me either and I wouldn't really expect them to.

She has always seen herself as an inspiration to put it mildly. She thinks her ideas have never been thought of before and if she doesn't get praised she often sulks. She's always critical of the management and seems to think that she can pretty much do as she pleases. I know that management have had to speak to her more than once for her boundary-over-stepping heroics.

We tend to work in teams of three, all with slightly different areas of expertise for the same group of clients- all of whom have similar vulnerabilities. Each time we meet with these clients, she keeps stepping into my area and suggesting things that I haven't got around to suggesting (through my choice). The meetings are spent with her dominating communication where she basically bigs herself up to the clients about all her wonderful work and then makes out indirectly that I could be doing more. "Then I did this, and I tried that and I decided this and I thought of that..."

She's always desperate to be liked and will do anything for praise and admiration, going against policy and buying gifts even for clients. She goes off on tangents in our meetings, giving life advice, wellbeing advice, diet advice, going way over and above, offering more than the remits of her role.

Sometimes she'll tell me how she's turned someone's life around or how her support has finally got a client functioning in society, when I know her input has had minimal impact. She's getting on my nerves now. There's an arrogance that comes with it as she genuinely seems to believe that she's saving everyone and she's stepping on toes to do it. Her behaviour impacts my rapport with our clients as she just takes over and offers more than we're really set up to do.

I get along with our manangers and they'll often ask me to lead on a meeting and she just takes over offering all sorts of random things. She'll even do things for clients on her day off, dropping things off or collecting things (all within our remit but on her non-work day).

Everything she's doing is helpful but not part of the service we offer. She's making myself and our other colleague look less than through these heroic acts. I think management are aware, but the cynicism towards everyone else and their ideas, coupled with her arrogant view of herself is driving me nuts. There's just no modesty and it's getting frustrating as things that clients should be coming to me for (due to my area of expertise which is different to hers), they go to her for instead because she's blurring the lines. I work with other colleagues with other clients at times and it doesn't feel like this.

She sounds embarrassing and intense. If I was her client I would start to dread meetings, cut them short and avoid contact. I'll definitely find another company to work with.

We had a digital marketing agency on our books and our account manager was like this. In the end I felt like they thought they were better than me and I found another agency to work with.

You need to have a gentle word with the manager of you all / HR and suggest very carefully that she's embarrassing the company.

Or wait for her to give the wrong advice to the client but you could lose business this way. She's a risk!

The word 'embarrassing' is embarrassing enough for HR to act on it. And the word 'risk' is terrifying to anyone in business.

The clients are quite vulnerable so tend to love her as she wants to swoop in and solve all their problems so they naturally latch on to her. But she's doing more than our remit.

I really like my job so don't want to leave because of her but yes, it is embarrassing. Sometimes other organisations join the meeting and as she monopolises the meeting with her bragging and wellbeing advice I often think they're getting as frustrated as I am.

My advice would be to review the past few months worth of meetings with clients and document where HeroColleague has gone way past what is covered as part of your job. Include the details where she has personally bought gifts for clients (could be seen as trying to buy favour with them, even if it's out of her own purse).
Schedule a meeting with your manager in a concerned way, like "I don't think this is right that X is doing A, B and C and it could damage the reputation of the company/business", or "By X doing A, B and C, don't you think that might look like they are trying to buy favour with the client? I wonder if our competition might see it like that, what do you think?".

Offering life advice unless they are a life coach or stepping into areas that are not their area of expertise should be stopped.

If you're in a meeting that this happens in, carefully step in and say "Oh X, we don't actually do that as part of the service we offer at OurBusiness. Didn't Ms ManagerName tell you that when you moved team?" If your meeting is on Teams or Zoom, you could send it via a message so that she can see it but it doesn't have to be read out or said out loud, but they do need to be reminded what is and isn't covered by what your business offers.

Jump into the meeting if they are rambling on and say "Just bringing this meeting back to the topic being discussed here...etc. etc. We'd really like to get the opinion of NewBusinessVentures that have just joined the call on this topic...." and firmly but politely take the microphone away from them.

Have you mentioned any of what has been going on to management yet?