Fed up with being feel bad when leaving on time

[ErinAoife]

My daughter is going to a childcare provider from 7.30 to 5.30 most day. I start work at 8.00 and have 30 mn commute so morning is always a rush. I finish work at 4.30 and because of traffic I usually only be able to collect her at 5.30. I am getting more and more comments from my boss that leaving on time when one of my colleague is swamped with work is not on. I have no problem helping my colleague but she often declined help, so after a while you stop offering. She is to be honest the type "look at me I am staying late, I am indispensable only me can do a perfect job". No point arguing with my boss about it as they are buddy. Our department is 3 people, I covered one side of it but I am trained to the other side as well, the colleague who is swamped with work is on the other side but is not trained to do my work, the third colleague is like me trained on both side, he is back from a 2 year illness break for the past 6 months. For 2 years we were managing just the two of us and there was never an issue i did not complaint about the extra workload, i was doing long hours at home as with covid we were WFH but now we are back in the office. When the third colleague came back from his sick leave, he was pissed off as our colleague never gave him back the work that he did before his sickness, she refused and the boss agreed that she could keep it as my boss don't like people being off work and see it as a weakness and not being reliable. The situation is really getting me down and I really don't know what to do.

Regardless of who helps who or who is trained in what you are paid to start and finish at a set time? This isn’t piecework where you’re payed per task? Then no. You start when they start paying you and you stop when they stop paying you.

Agreed but the constant comments that I am leaving on time when my colleague is not because of her workload is really annoying. It is not my fault if she doesn't share her workload

Comment that she needs to become more efficient if she can't get her work done in the set hours like you can. Turn it round on her.

It she isn't getting her work done that's her problem, not yours. You're doing your hours and your work. There's nothing else to be said. Your boss sounds horrible.

If she won’t share her workload with you, what difference will it even make if you stay later?

Send your boss an email and copy it to HR, if you have one saying you really don’t appreciate the comments made that you are leaving work on time when there is still work to be done through no fault of yours that your colleague will not delegate work to X worker. Make it clear, again, your reason for having to leave at that time is due to nothing other than having to pick up your child from childcare and do not need to be felt guilty at leaving on time to do this.

I’ve worked at a few places where comments have been made like “it must be 5.29 as X is going home whilst the rest of us carry on working”. I reminded them my hours are 9 to 5.30 and during that time I have done all work expected of me, it’s up to you if you want to do extra hours.

Do exactly this.

Either that or your boss needs to accept the workload isn't doable with the current staff numbers. No one is owed free labour.

Slightly unfair - OP describes her as "swamped with work". No amount of efficiency make 10 hours work fit in 7.

This sounds like a management problem. Ask your manager to reassign the work equally between the 3 of you. (Next time he mentions you leaving say something like "Perhaps we could have a clear divide of who does what, so that I know how much I have to do and Sarah is not left swamped").

If this leaves you with more work than you can do in your working hours, then you have a different problem, but ideally the solution would be to hire a 4th person, or accept that all the work can't get done. If you're in a workplace where it's normal to work late to finish everything and your pay/conditions reflect this, you may have to rethink whether this is a job that will work for you. Unless your child's father can help with drop offs or pick ups?

Speak to your boss about it in your 1-2-1. Ask her if she can review the work of all 3 of you there seems to be an imbalance. Remind her you have a child in childcare and have to leave on time. If she continues to make comments I’d speak to her boss as it’s not acceptable. If I heard someone making comments to their staff like that in my departments I’d certainly be pulling them up on it

Urgh, I used to work at a place like this. When I was made redundant and asked for a reference, they wrote that I am 'an excellent time keeper' on it. Wankers...

I'd email the other two in your team (so there is a record) "I've created a shared folder (link) so that if any of us are swamped we can drop tasks, emails or notes of things that need doing in there. That way we can each support one another so that we can all finish on time"

Then if she chooses not to share anything, you can at least show written proof. And check the folder at 4pm every day to see if there are any tasks.

I think if he values her staying later it's likely that she'll be getting a pay increase or she'll be promoted before you.

In which case, he shouldn't be making you pay twice. You're probably on less pay (?)

You shouldn't have to be on less pay and shamed for working to your wages.

I think this is a management issue as well as your colleague being a bit of a martyr.

If finish time is 4.30 your manager needs to be checking in with the team to see how everyone is doing, any urgent tasks outstanding etc then anyone who is free can take on a bit more. I would say probably about 3-4pm so the person taking it on doesn't end up staying late.

The work allocation sounds unbalanced too, again a management issue.

You are doing nothing wrong leaving on time to collect your child and your manager not doing their job and the colleague hogging work to look good shouldn't impact on your child or your childcare provider.

Ah I’ve been there too. I assume your boss has no children. And you manage your time well and do all your work well. Then how long your colleague stays is really not your problem.

This is not ok, is there an HR department you can talk to? You are doing your hours and your work, which is what you are being paid for. It may be worth looking for another job where you are more valued (you lose nothing by looking...).

I had a boss who did this, tried to make me feel guilty for taking sick leave during pregnancy and for leaving on time once I was back. I found a new job while I was on maternity leave (even said in the interview that I would need to be able to leave on time to pick up DS from nursery). If you do find something, make it clear to anyone you can (your boss, HR, company board...) why you are leaving.

It's possible your colleague is taking longer breaks etc so ends up staying in the office later but spending the same amount of time actually working!

Thanks. I know I should look for another job but scared of the unknow and to be in a worst position. I am there 25 years with this company and I like my job.