Fibromyalgia, pregnancy and work

[Ithurtbad]

I am 20 weeks now have not had an easy pregnancy. My Fibromyalgia is worse and actually losing a lot of sleep at night with the pain in lower back.
I am at the point where I have tried and tried but finding it quite difficult.
Monday I struggled and been put in 3 days at the moment. Normally contracted for 1 love the 3 days.
Even a customer said to me cheer up I was just literally shattered need sleep. I even took a break and literally battles through and couldn't wait to leave at 2. I was due in next day already was joking I won't be in but tbh I woke up in pain 2-3 times that night and just thought I can't go today. I was emotional it been hard lately with other stuff.
Definitely the lack of sleep is impacting on my daily life due to pain in my legs and extra weight I am carrying.
Normally if someone is not going my manager would say I need urgent cover no name of the person off that day. But he put it on group chat and obviously didn't seem happy. With that I wrote on my what's app status saying it's no fun being up 2-3 times a night in pain etc. I really wasn't happy. I can see the enough is enough. I did say I would call him later but tbh I don't know what to say. It's like enough is enough I suppose from his side and then again enough is enough myself people not really understood my fibromyalgia. I met a friend yesterday whom I haven't seen in months and she could see how much in pain I was in.
It's like up to this point like I have said I have really tried my best to work my contract hours and extra on top.
I am going to call my midwife and maybe make a telephone phone appointment. Currently I can't take painkillers apart from paracetamol which won't do nothing for the pain and rather not.
How early you can take Maternity leave?
If possible I can sign off until 17 October because I see the pain team then. They can suggest what to do. Or try to go in but restrictions in place. I have tried that too and sometimes a break is not possible or 5-10 not enough. It's the lack of sleep that's a concern and pain in my legs it's not working at all now.
While writing this this maybe until my sleep is better and find a way of dealing with the pain at night I need to be signed off until October 17 review then. I do understand my work has done all they could but need to think of my health.
This only option at the moment I have or completely sign off and then go on maternity leave. Can that happen or not?
I need to make a few phone calls today before my shift Saturday which still debating if I can do or not. If you see the time I have posted you will know I am up due to pain. Honestly think people think up for the fun of it I am not.
Any advice?

Chat to your GP, you might be able to get signed off sick or reduced hours. If you’ve been signed off sick due to pregnancy issues, you’ll start your mat leave from 36 weeks onwards, so there’s still quite a bit of time to go.

Get signed off for a bit and see how you go, you can always get an extension or go back and get signed off again if you struggle.

Usually you can only take maternity leave from about 29 weeks, 11 weeks before your due date.

Sorry about your manager, I had pgp this pregnancy and even my partner didn't quite get how bad it was to be waking up in the night to turn over in pain.

Hope you find some relief with the pain team and best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy

It sounds like you just messaged your manager that you weren’t coming in though, if you said you would call him later? That’s not appropriate or professional and the proper channels need to be used.

@YellowTreeHouse

Yes I know but there is a reason for that. He doesn't take my condition at times serious plus it's I need to speak to midwife, doctor today and then he will get a call what my next step is.
I been going on forcing myself through shifts for awhile now and even I use to extra hour here and there.
Enough setting myself on fire go keep others warm. Although I go for the money but don't like letting down the team.
He has been pretty good but then again I need to sort this pain and lack of sleep out.

Giving the appropriate notice is not “setting yourself on fire”.

It doesn’t matter how many shifts you’ve pushed through or whether you think he takes it seriously or not.

If you don’t give the appropriate notice it is a disciplinary matter regardless of the reason.

Plus my manager wrapped up in his own health which I am sorry that he went through that. But my health condition will not be dismissed because he goes to work gets through his shift. My manager is a manager can sit in the office after 1 hr get another staff to take over.
This the issue here won't struggle myself because he does. My health is important and like they say don't kill yourself for a job that can replace yourself tommorow.

What type of job do you do, are there options for making adjustments or a temporary change of role that would help?

Have you had a maternity risk assessment completed at work?

Have you made adjustments at home like sleeping with extra pillows or in different positions to try to get a more comfortable sleep?

Have you spoken to a doctor or midwife about any exercises/physio that could help?

Do you get paid sick leave or SSP?

You are only half way through your pregnancy so have another 4 months to go. Your maternity pay is based off of your earnings between week 17 and 25 (from memory double check that) and you may want to return to this workplace after maternity leave so you need to work with your manager to find solutions.

You can be signed off, but really, you need to be looking into why you have back pain. It is easy to blame every single thing you have on fibro, but often there is another reason, and the chances are you have hypermobility syndrome (as it is so often misdiagnosed as fibro). I would highly recommend seeing a physio who specialises in pregnancy, and a private one. If it could stop you from being signed off sick then it will be worth every penny.

Why can't you take stronger pain killers currently? My body doesn't tolerate them well, so I don't take many, but I've used occasional codeine and tramadol during all 4 pregnancies. My OB was happy for me to use them more but they made me too ill. Is that what you're seeing pain team for? It's usually an OB in the public system here.

Again, none of that is relevant. It doesn’t matter what job your manager does or doesn’t do.

You are entitled to be off sick if you feel it necessary but you must go through the correct and appropriate channels to do so, otherwise it is a disciplinary matter.

You are confusing too many issues and trying to get out of not giving the appropriate notice by giving irrelevant excuses.

@FatAgainItsLettuceTime

I work in retail and he did a risk assessment not long ago maybe he was waiting until I passed the safe stages as was wondering why he took long to do.

I do need a mattress topper so looking into that. I will go this appointment on 17 with pain team.
Not much adjustments they can do I do have breaks but I need to remind them.
I work on a till and I honestly don't want to be snappy at customer's if I have hardly not sleep. I honestly think in my line work especially how customers can be I could snap lost my job and need to really be on the ball all the time. It's hard as it is tbh.
Like I said doing my best to stay in the job not sign off. Maybe they need to give me an hour of the till or I need to just take walks more which they have said at work.
I think I suppose maybe I will speak up.
Maybe I have to go off sick until this appointment. Then decide as Christmas coming not sure I can manage.

The last 3 who posted reply thanks I totally get all your points.
Going to make a few calls now very stuck.

Lots of reasonable adjustments can be made in retail.

A chair at the till. More frequent breaks. Shorter shifts. Reduced days. Different duties.

And not just a mattress topper, when I was pregnant I basically built a pillow fort round me every night. I'd be on my left side with a pillow between my knees which helped my hips, and another behind me which helped my back, and one under the bump for support there. I just kept trying new configurations till I found the right one.

Swimming helped loosen up my muscles without being high impact, walking helped to stop my back stiffening up, as did gentle stretches recommended by a physio.

A hot water bottle or hot patch could help while you're sitting at the checkout or it might be that the cooling gel works better for you.

If you are standing for long periods of time, that is why your back is hurting, particularly if you are tired, you will be slouching. Combined with loose ligaments from hormones and it's a recipe for disaster. You definitely need a physio for gentle exercises to strengthen your muscles, and you definitely need that risk assessment. It is possible to keep going in retail, I worked through to 34 weeks with PGP, but it's important to know what you can and can't do, and that your manager knows.

I have spoken to my manager and explained everything. He took me of Saturday until I speak to a doctor. Think I will sign off until the 17. I need to try every suggestion and see if I sleep better.
I am hoping everything will get better until I go off on maternity leave.

I think you need more help with how to cope with the pain and the 'lack of sleep', because both are going to continue for a long, long time.

Fibro sufferers never get the proper 'refreshing' sleep because of the pain they are in, and a new baby will mean that you are going to be awake several times a night for a minimum of months.

Because of this, you need to find the best way of coping with both the pain and the lack of refreshing sleep.

Have you joined any online forums for fibro ? You'll get lots of tips from other sufferers. Also, get an appointment with your GP to discuss safe painkillers to use during pregnancy, because simply taking nothing for the pain is obviously not working for you. You can also try to use things like heat pads, pillows, cool packs etc as different things work for different people.

It's simply a horrible fact that fibro is a very painful and unpredictable condition, which can be severely debilitating, and has no cure. As such, you will have it for the rest of your life, but that doesn't mean that it will always be this good/bad, you just have to find what works for you to help improve your symptoms, but think long term, not short term.

@oobeedoobee

I have spoken to a doctor and they actually wanted me to go in to examine me. I have an appointment for Tuesday and be signed off until 21 but won't be going back to work until the 30th. My manager said was understanding.

Hopefully all those things you suggested will help.