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Original poster

Single Parenting - is full Time worth it?

26 replies

katifer78 · 05/10/2022 11:56

Attention sensible people. I am deflated.
I upped my hours from Part Time (30) to Full Time (40) from 1st Sepetmber. I DD started highschool shes now a latchkey kid off the bus till I get home at 5.30pm
My calculations are making me wonder if it is worthwhile.
Take home pay + tax credits =
FT £1862.69 –
PT £1754.46 = £108.23

So Working full time vs part time makes me £108.23 better off each month.
£108.23/ 4.345 = £24.90
That’s £24.90 a week better off
40 x 4.345 = 173.8
30 x 4.345 = 130.35
173.8 – 130.35 = 43.45
I'm now working an extra 43.45 hours a month for £108.23
Extra 10 hours a week for £24.90 a week
Extra 2 hours a day for £2.49 an hour
So I’m now working 3-5 for £4.98 a day.

Now I know that I would struggle to find more work to make that £108.23 a month but is the extra faff of leaving her alone for 2 hours every night and being shattered and unable to collect her from after school clubs.

Would appreciate peoples thoughts, before I discuss with the boss. I did think about asking to train - if they pay for a book keeping course or something the promise of career progression may make it more worthwhile?

OP posts:
Darbs76 · 05/10/2022 21:26

For me it was better as more money was going into my pension and it meant I was able to push forward and apply for a promotion. So although initially wasn’t a huge amount more, in the long run it was worth it

Starlightstarbright1 · 05/10/2022 21:36

I do 32 hours a week.i work an extra 1/2 hour a day to the full time but work it over 4 days so gives me a extra day but means i don't pay fuel and car parking for that day. It works for me.

If there is a way to increase your pay rate through training do that i am currently training will give me an extra 50p an hour. Certainly worth an ask

Original poster
katifer78 · 06/10/2022 07:35

Yes. That's what the sensible part of my brain is telling me. It's just a little bitter niggle thag won't go away now I've worked out those extra hours on an hourly rate. Need to think of bigger picture. Thank you x

OP posts:
TizerorFizz · 06/10/2022 17:47

Work should always “pay” but it doesn’t always feel like it! Loads of parents do this (work less)!and claim benefits. It remains to be seen if Truss alters the equation. I would want to go for promotion and improve myself. Show dc I can do it! If you get the breaks, the job should pay better in the long run.

oobeedoobee · 08/10/2022 16:19

It's much better for your pension (both work and government pensions) as part time work often only entitles you to a 'part' pension too (check on gov.uk site to check your NI contributions, as you have to have paid a set number of 'full years' payments to even qualify for the full old age pension, and you can only 'top up' part payment years within the last couple of years) So it might be a good financial decision to boost your previous 'part time' contributions while you can?

It's also much better to be working full time for your career 'prospects' and 'progression' too, as part timers tend to be 'passed over' far more frequently.

The fact that you are now relying on your DC to be 'responsible' for getting home independently is also good for your DC, as it is showing them that you trust them to be grown up enough to get home, get a snack and start doing any homework etc, which is a great start to them becoming an independent adult. They're only alone for a relatively short time, and you are always contactable on the phone etc. (It also sets them a great role model)

Suzi888 · 08/10/2022 20:22

I’m not a single mum, but I would think it’s worth it for pension? Saying that I would rather be there when my child gets in (however, are they just on their phone ignoring me…. in which case that extra time in work doesn’t really matter). You can still spend quality time together.

Full timers get thought of more than part timers, prospects are better. If something comes up we would always consider the full timer above the part timer who now decides they can suddenly put more hours in for extra money….

Good luck, whatever you decide.

blublub · 08/10/2022 20:53

I wouldn’t op. I would hang off until they were 16. They will be gone soon and you will never get this time back with them. What’s a few more years? There’s more to life than money. Kids need someone actually there for them showing they care. You would be providing a good role model by showing you care more about them and their well-being than money. I don’t buy this leaving kids to raise themselves so you can take care of yourself later on down the line with a nice pension.

DeeofDenmark · 08/10/2022 21:23

I don’t suppose you have any kind of flexible working where you could start earlier or take work home to do later in the evening?

TizerorFizz · 08/10/2022 23:11

@blublub
Thats all well and good but sometimes money brings a huge advantage. No one needs to work all hours and of course she will see Dc all evening and weekends. It’s hardly a major hardship. It’s also proving she doesn’t want benefits. Many many families have both parents working full time. Some do very important roles like being a headteacher. They don’t get to pick and choose hours. Obviously a teacher can but these are not primary age Dc. Plenty of older Dc come home from school and wait for a parent.

blublub · 09/10/2022 07:15

Yes but they have two parents ie half the work load of domestic chores. And if you’re not in a very well paid job you can’t employ another women to pick up the slack what then? These things are a job and need to be done. They’re only so many hours in a day and when you’re alone it’s only you to do ever. Being a parent is a full time job and if you’re ok with electronics and help raising your kids, well great. But it’s certainly not in the child’s best interests.

BrutusMcDogface · 09/10/2022 07:22

A teacher can pick and choose their hours?

OP- personally I would do the 30 hours. Is your dd an only? I would want to be there for her, but I also think it’s a good idea for your own mental health and well-being. Get the chores done during the week so that you can enjoy weekends more.

TizerorFizz · 09/10/2022 08:28

I meant lots of teachers are part time. Heads, generally are not. Job matters. Ambition and pension matters!

I obviously understand a single mum
has more housework to do. However lots do chores after DC are in bed. Not getting meals but other aspects of it. DC can also help when they are secondary age and they do go to friends houses for a break! It’s not like they need constant care or indeed can do nothing. For the extra money coming in they are old enough to help a bit.

RuthW · 09/10/2022 08:43

Its not good now but will you still be in the same job when she's 18?

I did 30 hours but when dd was 18 my income halved as tax crediits, child benefit and child maintenance went.

Year 7 is a tough year. They need you so much at that age. It gets better in year 8.

TizerorFizz · 09/10/2022 10:30

? Not aLl y7 so are the same. Mine didn’t need me!!

blublub · 09/10/2022 13:57

@TizerorFizz And when is said mother supposed to relax after working full time and half the night on top? What quality is her parenting going to be after that? Why should mother’s become Ill from over work? If you’re not happy for people to pay taxes in case their partners abandon them with children, maybe you could care about the lack of financial penalties for those doing the abandoning. Piling extra work on top of the overworked already, to the detriment of children, is cruelty in my opinion. Or do you hate simply hate single parents and believe they and their children deserve to be punished?

BrutusMcDogface · 09/10/2022 13:57

Strange references to teachers, though, considering that the op didn’t say she is one (and doesn’t seem to be).

If your work is flexible then could you go down and back up again when your dd is older?

Original poster
katifer78 · 09/10/2022 17:18

Thank you all. It's a lot to think about and as someone here said year 7 is a tough one with l the changes and sudden homework onslaught. I'm going to ask about some flexibility with working from home and ask about some training. Try that and if not reduce back again. I need to try and show work the positives and not focus on negatives. Does that make sense. It's not easy is it. Plus I'm flipping shattered 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
katifer78 · 09/10/2022 17:30

I go to bed when my DD does because of the tiredness. My house is a mess and it does stress me out. I also need to be able to collect her from after school clubs that finish at 4.15 or sh has to wait an hour for a late bus.
Honestly for the money is it worth it. I'm still in such a quandry.
No I'm not in a school. It's a basic admin job today started here In April but I do get the sense I could progress if I showed an interest. But maybe now is not the right time.
Money sucks. Single parenting is hard. I have support from my parents but there's a balance of financial independence and not wanting to be a burden. If I had a partner there would be some emotional and financial and parenting help. But it's just me and DD. Winging it. Learning as we go along. Don't get me started on the hormones. Let's not throw those in the mix 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
katifer78 · 09/10/2022 17:41

Just saw this on insta...
Your worth is not defined by what you achieve or acquire. It's a question of who you become and how you contribute to others.
Self-esteem should come from character, not success or status. The highest accomplishment
is to be a person of generosity, curiosity, and integrity.
I think I feel pressure from the outside world from work and society to be a full time professional to be a worthy human when actually my integrity is saying I want to be a good mum and I want my energy and mojo back. Gahhhhhhh

OP posts:
Original poster
katifer78 · 13/10/2022 15:08

So update.
After speaking with my boss I have decided to reduce back down to 30 hours at least until Christmas. I have committed to start training in January towards an accounting qualification. So the money dip is not forever.
For now I feel that my DD needs me. And I need to get my health (physical and mental) back on track.
Following her first Accademic Review ( basically parents evening in the daytime - whaddup with that?) I have noticed that she has become a little overwhelmed with the changes and the homework. I want to use the time with her after work in the afternoons to be supportive. I just can't at the moment getting in at half 5. My house will still be a shit pit as I have zero energy to keep up with it all but the most important thing is balance and perspective.
Thank you all for your advice and support. x

OP posts:
Danikm151 · 13/10/2022 15:17

Have you checked if you’d be better off on UC?
A fair few working single parents are better off on UC rather than tax credits because of the work taper rate.
also means there is less chance of an overpayment you will need to pay back

Original poster
katifer78 · 13/10/2022 15:17

blublub · 09/10/2022 13:57

@TizerorFizz And when is said mother supposed to relax after working full time and half the night on top? What quality is her parenting going to be after that? Why should mother’s become Ill from over work? If you’re not happy for people to pay taxes in case their partners abandon them with children, maybe you could care about the lack of financial penalties for those doing the abandoning. Piling extra work on top of the overworked already, to the detriment of children, is cruelty in my opinion. Or do you hate simply hate single parents and believe they and their children deserve to be punished?

@blublub your message really spoke to me here. we are exhausted. the pair of us. our relationship hanging by a thread. I have no time to myself and I don't get a second go at being her mum. She's my one shot at getting it right and i have noone else to lean on for support at home. for the sake of £100 a month my gut is telling me what to do. right now. it can change further down the line if we need it to but right now. this is us.

OP posts:
Original poster
katifer78 · 13/10/2022 15:20

Danikm151 · 13/10/2022 15:17

Have you checked if you’d be better off on UC?
A fair few working single parents are better off on UC rather than tax credits because of the work taper rate.
also means there is less chance of an overpayment you will need to pay back

Interesting...
How do I check that without actually making an application?
Do I use one of the benefit calculators like Turn2us?

OP posts:
Danikm151 · 13/10/2022 16:43

@katifer78 yes. Enter the figures on a benefits calculator online, (I used entitled too and the figure matches what I get )and they will give you a rough figure.
the childcare help is higher too up to 85% should you need some during the holidays.

if it looks like you’ll be better off it may be worth applying

Thismumandherboy · 24/04/2024 18:26

I work full time but my main issue is myself or my child being unwell

I have a good job but it means the responsibility and expectation is so much higher. So the disappointment from my work when we are unwell is horrible. That and I don't get paid sick pay.

I don't have to anyone to help me and its just me and my son.

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