Manager killing my confidence

[AnnieEva]

Hello

Started new job last year. I love it and feel that I’ve made progress and improvements in my department. There’s just this problem of my manager knocking my confidence. He seems to be very stressed all the time. Colleagues tell me not to take it personally but it’s getting me down. I’m constantly worried that he is disappointed in me. He congratulates other staff but me and my department can never seem to do anything right. I dread going into work when I know he is going to be there. He doesn’t listen and talks over everyone. I’m determined to make a success of this job but feel my confidence is being eroded and I don’t know what to do about it. I have worked in similar roles as this for many years, so have lots of experience but he makes me feel that l am stupid and speaks to me like I’m 10 years old. When he isn’t there, the atmosphere is so much more relaxed and everyone is happier. The job would be perfect if it wasn’t for this but it’s getting so bad that tonight I’ve been job hunting as I don’t want to continue feeling this unhappy. We work really hard in my department but it just doesn’t seem to be recognised by him.

Any advise please on how to deal with this?

Sorry to hear that you are having this experience. Have you thought about talking it through with him? He might not realise the impact he is having on you. I wouldn’t overly describe how it is among you feel but stick to some clear facts and the impact it is having:

eg I wanted to have a 1 year chat about how I am developing in my role. I really enjoy it and love working here. I’ve sometimes felt that my progress hasn’t been recognised and I’d like to work together to understand how I can support you and this team and it would be great to have a two conversation about that. At the moment I’m not sure about your perception of my contributions and it would be great to work together on this. Etc etc.

Had a similar boss - the problem isn't actually you, it's him and he's likely coming from a place of deep insecurity. It's possible he feels threatened by your experience. I know it's easy to say but try not to let him get you down.

Wow, this sounds exactly like my old workplace. Manager who constantly undermined their own department.

The problem is him, not you. Unfortunately, you're either going to have to toughen up and not let him get under your skin, or you'll have to find a new job.

I'm going through this and have been there a year aswell, I've started looking around for new jobs. Everything I suggest is rubbished, nit picked at and had training turned down. Good luck