Settling in at nursery

[Chloer9210]

My son went to a childminders and didn’t do well after a couple of sessions there, childminder wasn’t patient enough and said she had to give him a time limit to settle, he had 2 months break not going to childcare he has now started nursery and in his third week, his first week he went 9-11 then the same week he went 9-12 then last week 9-2 and then 9-3 and this week he’s been 9-4 and 8-5, he still gets really upset going in, he only goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I make sure he has lots of fun inbetween but he now cries as soon as we pull up, he’s only 16 months… is this normal? How long did it take others children’s to settle?

Realistically he has only gone for 6 days. It’s not part of his routine yet so can feel very strange to him.
is he settled once in or upset throughout the day? That’s important.
my son has a grumble going in because he knows i’m going away but 2 mins later he’s fine and very happy at pickup. He goes 4 days a week.

Yes completely normal.

They key thing is what's he like once you leave?

Tears at drop off I'm pretty sure are normal
for a while! Mine (2 now) still occasionally has tears at drop off but he absolutely adores nursery and as soon as the doors close he's smiling and happy .

DD started nursery at 13 months. She cried at drop off for the first month or two, getting less intense over time. Fortunately they had a window I could look through and she settled in minutes. Once she did get used to it she would reach out of our arms to her key worker when we arrived so we knew she was ok really.

Thanks for the replies, they said he’s up and down during the day, at times he will sit and play with the other children and other times he will cry at the gate… he’s not eating or drinking much whilst he’s there so that shows he must be quite upset… he also missed one day due to illness… so I take it it just gets slightly better each time he goes? He’s in for full days next week but then off for a week on holiday, when I called earlier he had taken a liking to someone so was getting comfort from them, also his key worker has been off this week so it’s people he’s unfamiliar with which I don’t think helps

They said up and down, last week when it was his key worker she said it was his best day yet, but she’s not in this week, when I picked him up Tuesday he’s normally crying but he wasn’t, he was happy to see me and wave bye so I’m hoping just a matter of time

Unfortunately if he's only there two days a week and they're not even consecutive days, plus he has missed a day for illness already, then realistically it is going to take longer for him to settle. It's not ideal that you're off on holiday soon as well. If you are generally happy with the nursery and think that they are looking after him well then I think you have to persevere.

Exactly what @unfortunateevents . Intermittent attendance make it way harder. Could you change the days to two consecutive, such as Monday, Tuesday. Also don't overdo the fun in the non-nursery days. Make them normal days, with of course, games, and reading, but also you dealing with real life such as washing and cooking. If you make the non nursery days "Disney days" , it will be hard to find the fun at nursery.
Try to see if there is a child he has taken a liking to, and organise an hour at the park after pickup .
It will pass and it will get better, promise!