Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Feeling like the dunce of the team

5 replies

Hakunamatata91 · 28/09/2022 18:37

Has anybody felt this way and managed to get to a place of feeling better about it? I work in a fairly large (15-20) team of people who are all doing the same job at the same level. Most of us have under 18 months experience (more experienced people tend to get moved to another department). My performance reviews are fine, my manager says I'm doing well, but I really feel like the dunce of the team. Stuff keeps coming out on the work whatsapp group chat that everyone else seems to know about bar me. I know I shouldn't really care what everyone else thinks/how I compare with others as long as my manager is happy with how I'm doing, but getting quite down about it at times. Its making me question if I did the right thing moving into this role (which was a change of direction career wise for me). Don't think it helps that there's nobody I would class as a friend on the team - I get on with people fine but just haven't really clicked in that way where you'd meet up outside work socials and can be totally honest about how you feel about work. In previous workplaces I have always had friends to vent to/get an honest opinion from. Again, shouldn't really matter as I'm quite happy with the friends I've got outside work, but all just adding to feeling a bit down about the job! Its the only employer that does this type of job so can't really move without changing career again, and I would like to make a go of it. Any advice?

OP posts:
Goandplay · 29/09/2022 07:47

What type of stuff is coming out? Work things you should be up to speed on?

Can you identify someone that resembles the closest thing to a work friend that you have in the team and they to develop the relationship a little bit? Maybe ask them about the most recent development everyone knew about in a conversation and try to work out where everyone is getting the information. That would be a start.

Try not to think of yourself in the way that you are because you’ll project that and it’ll become a self fulfilling prophecy.

As you say your manager is happy, you just need some confidence.

Hakunamatata91 · 29/09/2022 11:51

Thank you, I'll do that. It is work stuff coming out, but stuff you wouldn't know you didn't know unless someone told you about it, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
DoYouRememberDiedreBarlow · 29/09/2022 17:36

But how come you don't know about it op, is it more that you feel out of the loop?

Hakunamatata91 · 29/09/2022 20:00

I don't know how I don't know about it and everyone else does, I think that's what's stressed me. I'm not sure if perhaps it might have been something that was covered in individual training as mine was a bit disorganized and missed bits. I'm on holiday at the moment so its a bit awkward to find out, but definitely going to speak to a couple people about it when I get back and work out what's happened as it is a bit concerning (its a longstanding thing - not something that would have happened since I went on holiday). I don't think anyone will be deliberately excluding me though whatever it is, the team's not like that.

OP posts:
Goandplay · 29/09/2022 21:39

Being on holiday will heighten these feelings.

I think if you ‘in passing’ mention you missed a couple of things to the same person they might hopefully start looping you in themselves.

try to build a relationship with a chosen colleague.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page