I don’t think it’s ADHD… but something’s wrong

[Brieeeeeeeee]

Been at my job for 3 and a half years, with 7 months of mat leave in the middle of that. On paper it’s my dream job, something I have plenty of skills and experience in, a thriving industry, a large (household name) company.

But I’m not getting better at my job - I’m getting worse. I can’t cope with deadlines or time management very well. I feel like my brain is full, my to-do list is never ending and I don’t know what “achievement” looks like any more, even compared to colleagues in the same role as me. I can’t do the simplest of things sometimes, and put off minor tasks until the bitter end or sometimes hope it just goes away or someone else picks it up. I can’t articulate any of this to anyone up the chain or in HR. I am terrified I’m going to be dismissed soon as I’m in a regulated industry and have come so close to serious deadlines that it’s been raised as a concern.

I have tried and tried to learn better management techniques, go on training courses, learn from mentors, complete processes and measurable tasks, practice good work hygiene like compartmentalising time, writing up meeting notes immediately, only checking email twice a day, etc. But none of it goes in for longer than a few days and I am back at square one all the time with more work. I always say I’ll catch up on evenings and weekends but I never can. I had counselling for a few sessions shortly after returning from mat leave as I found it difficult to get back into the swing of a busy role, but it feels like that was wasted too as I can’t remember anything that was said or what I should do. I feel like I want to run away.

“Just living my everyday life is exhausting.”

That sentence alone describes ADHD to a tee! 😩

If you have ADHD then the anti depressants might never kick in

Are you actually depressed because if you don’t have depression and are just down because of undiagnosed ADHD then taking anti depressants won’t make you any less down if that makes sense

You sound a lot like me, I also relate a lot to ADHD symptoms but don't really believe I have it. Just really struggle getting stuff done and have a 3 year old. Are you getting enough sleep, and do you get a chance to exercise? Do you work from home?

I found this podcast really useful if you have Spotify: "the psychology of procrastination" on the psychiatry & psychotherapy podcast.

Forgiving yourself for past procrastination has proven to be a key factor in reducing future procrastination.

I forgot about this thread 😫

I’m sorry so many people are in the same position, because it’s really stressful.

@bunpot I get nowhere near enough sleep or exercise. I plan to - I bullet journal, etc - but it never happens. I used to be super disciplined about that kind of thing but no more. I’m too fat to exercise properly now anyway.

A few people have asked why antidepressants - I did think about going on these a couple of years ago when diagnosed with mild PND, but resisted, and I feel like I’ve just been treading water since then. So it was worth a try. A few weeks in now & the edge of anxiety has come right off, which is helping me to think more clearly. I’m still procrastinating and easily distracted and struggling to start or finish tasks, but I no longer have a tight chest when I think about how much work I need to do. So it’s a start. I have also been having therapy and some interesting stuff is coming up regarding self esteem, how I want to be perceived and all of that.

Hyperactive mind is exactly it, @ittakes2 . I can be halfway through a thought (searching for a fish pie recipe) and stop half way through to search for something else.

I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. I think that you can have very effective coping strategies that mask it to some extent, but that it gets harder as your mental load gets bigger with parenthood. Stress can also cause the symptoms you describe, but again, if you are stressed then ADHD gets far far worse ime.

In short, I wouldn't rule it out. Maybe read up on it a bit more and see how it sits with you.

I've been diagnosed a year and it's been a revelation. My life was mostly under control until I became a mum - then suddenly all my coping strategies were not enough. I was bright enough and had the stamina to push myself to the limit to keep up and pretend everything was ok. Until it wasn't.

I'm on the stimulant drugs now and it's like living life on easy mode. I just have to watch what I'm doing when I take them so I don't hyperfocus on cleaning all the limescale off my bathroom fittings instead of being on a conference call. First few weeks of taking them I kept falling asleep. My brain was blissed out at the lack of noise.

People are so dismissive of adhd and mistake it for anxiety and depression. It's just a different way of brain processing and to live the standard 9-5 I need some chemical help. I'd be fine if I lived a 100% creative life and this brain can be a massive advantage in some scenarios.

It's a real relief to know im not lazy or careless as I told myself for so long. Im much nicer to myself and I can hack the adhd if I need too.

I’m still going through titration with meds and don’t think they are helping that much!

Currently on concerta 72mg, think I’ll ask to try something else. Did you have try many meds or just happy with the results from the first meds you started?