Please come and tell me how long it is feasible to work for before dc2 arrives, and at what point I am likely to be able to go back afterwards

[FrannyandZooey]

Am self-employed, have 2 main jobs atm, one running my own children's groups which is fairly active in that I have to get the hall ready first, move some light furniture around etc, then quite a lot of activity during the session; I usually feel pretty tired afterwards (I do 2 sessions a day, twice a week). I don't have any help atm but could ask the parents for some help moving furniture I suppose.

The other job is similar but slightly more full on - it is coaching sports to preschoolers - very similar job but more active because we are doing sports for the full hour and not alternating with things like singing, story time. I can have some help for these sessions, and I do 2 hours back to back without a real break.

Dc2 is due beginning of July, and I was planning to work through till end of May. Do you think this is feasible?

I have no idea how I will feel afterwards but atm am thinking I would like to be back at work in Oct. I would need to take dc2 to my own groups, but am hoping to have nanny type person to help me out a bit while the groups are on. Would have childcare for the sports job. Again, is this feasible do you think? Am trying to work out if I am mad or over cautious.

Go with your plan, but be prepared to make changes if you're not fit enough to take it all on.

I'm sure the parents would agree to help move furniture. It's pretty standard fare at local toddler groups.

With regard to working until the end of May, I guess you won't know until you get there. I stopped work one week before ds was born, and walked three miles to work and back every day.

That said, I wasn't already exhausted from having previous kids

See how it goes. It sounds like the ball is pretty much in your court.

Yes, you make perfect sense Desi, it is just hard to be flexible when there is only me, and if I am not there the group does not run, but potentially 20 people turn up.

As Desi says, go with the plan and adapt if necessary. DS 2 arrived before I had actually started maternity leave having planned to work until 38 weeks.
As for going back, if you need the money and enjoy the work do, but beware of the desire to prove to the world that you can be a superwoman and manage 2 children easily. No-one will give you any medals for it and you might find that bf is harder if you are too tired. Enjoy the lo as much as you can.

F&Z.

The usual 'every pg is different' thingy applies. But if it helps, I was working in the kitchen at nursery (very active , heavy pots and pans etc) for two days a week until the week before DS4 was born.

I'm not sure about full time, though. I think you'll just need to go with it unless/until it becomes too much.

hmm

yes thank you all good advice

I do want to go back partly because my business runs on momentum and I will lose my customers if the group is shut for any discernible period. It would be more or less like starting from scratch if I had a long break.

oh it is only very p/t Bubvble - a few hours for 3 days a week

I understand, F&Z.

Can you target a few women from your groups who might be able to help out? If not in running the show, at least in helping to alert the other parents if and when you're going to be a no-show?

You're just coming out of your first trimester, which is horribly tiring. You might have a new lease of life over the next few months!

another thing is, I ideally need to give a date when the groups are starting off again, well in advance.

I need to be able to wave everyone off for the summer saying "see you on Oct 5th" or whatever, THEN they will all come back and not go and give all their money to Jo Jingles

yes I have not yet worked out a good system for letting people know if I have to close the group
I have done it twice in 3 years, the first time I rang everyone for whom I had a phone number (about 50 people, as my groups are drop in, I never know exactly who will turn up)

it won't do my reputation much good obviously, if people turn up to a sign on the door saying "sorry", more than about once in a year I don't think

You're lucky that you work in a business where it is totally OK to have a baby present. The nanny type person sounds good.

Might be worth checking local training colleges for a childcare student who needs some newborn/young baby experience? You'd probably just then need to pay expenses and you would be around DC2 in any case (I'm picturing student in corner with the baby while you do sports job?)

Is there any way that you could get someone in to help do the grunt work and you could direct?
Not sure exactly what type of person I am thinking of, maybe an NNEB trainee (or are they even NNEB's now?).

I had a better pregnancy with dd2 but I remember stopping work 6 weeks before ddate (rather than 4 with dd1) and it made a big difference. I think I was generally a bit tireder and not so excited with dd2. I wasn't doing a very physical job either. If I were you, I'd go for stopping a bit sooner but then again you might feel fighting fit.

i had a better pregnancy with DD2.

i wanted to work till the absolute end because i only had 16 weeks off at full whack + an additional fortnight of holiday and we couldn't afford for me not to be on full pay.

i made it till 2 december, when i was forced to go by my boss and doctor - desk job, but i had hypertension and A LOT of swelling.

dd1 was born 10 december.

i think it's perfectly feasible for you to plan to work till end of May.

hmm pointy, hmm

yes Bubble for the sports job dp will be around so will have dc. I am slightly unsure what nanny person will do as I also have ds who will really need to be out of the way for at least 2 of my own groups, but those are calmer and less demanding groups, aimed at babies and young toddlers, and I would hope the parents would be understanding if I needed to see to my own baby during them. The other two groups are pretty fast paced, rely on me leading them and being on the ball most of the time, so I thought the nanny person would be walking up and down with dc2 if he / she was whinging, and doing the nappy changes and so on. God knows what i;ll do with ds during that one - he needs one to one adult supervision to be trusted not to be quite disruptive when I am working - but I can't afford TWO nannies

what do you do with him atm?
single nanny should word - baby in a sling and one-on-one with ds? Mum's do it - a nanny should be able to

he goes to nursery for one morning (nursery place ends in June), comes along with me to one session (he is ok but getting a bit old for it) and I pay a friend to take him out for a bit for the remaining session.

I do doubt the ability of most nannies to stop ds from wrecking the session (bit harsh but he REALLY distracts me, and will not usually follow instructions and join in, because it is ME running the group) while looking after a small baby, actually. I have seen dp fail to do it, without the baby part of the equation

what are your plans for after he finishes the nursery, especially because you could give birth a fortnight before your due date?

how do you mean expat? for work, or for general life? for work, as I have said i will see if I can get a nanny type person

in general, I just expect to muddle through, with me, and dp, and the odd bit of help from friends, as I do now? He only goes to nursery 1 or sessions a week, while I am working usually.

sorry, 1 or 2

for life, because you'll be off work by then.

it'll all work out, i think your tricky part will be the going back part.

i found it soooo much harder to go back after dd2 than dd1.

I think asking the parents to help move furniture/tidy up is a fab idea, at most groups that I go to this is already a given so I don't think anybody would mind especially if they know you are pregnant.

I'm not sure about the May thing, I suppose it depends on how big/tired you get but again could you adapt the group to make allowances for being more tired etc.

Again not sure about the coming back in October. If you are well and recovered and able to get on with things it should be fine especially if you have somebody helping out, and if you can't take your children to work in a toddler group situation then where can you! And if you do have to leave it for longer, when you start up again you will already have a client base who know you and your groups so it wouldn't really be like starting up again. I suppose you would just have to ring some old clients up to let them know you were back on the scene and get them to spread the word and do some advertising etc. Plus Jo Jingles is crap so you've got that on your side

yes I am thinking it will be trickier than I realise

ah well

I won't really have much general childcare after dc is born, unless I employ someone - same situation as now really, but I will have to pay someone for one morning a week instead of him having a free nursery session

LOL sherby I like the cut of your jib

I have already tried to adapt things a little to make it simpler during the group, but there is still a fair amount to do. Hmm. I will be interested to see how it pans out myself tbh!

I think it might be time for MN to rally to a cause here, when the due date draws nearer .

what you will all come and move the chairs and tables for me?