I micromanaged - without realising. Please help!

[Ithinkimessedup]

I don't wish to give too much information as it is potentially very outing. I work in logistics, in a very small team (compared with other teams). There are a 4 senior managers, three mid way management and 4 members who are junior members of staff. When in work recently, I was asked to manage some of the junior members and, as this was a new role for me, I was receiving lots of input from the seniors as to how best manage/handle situations. There are also very differing levels between managers with standards across the team as to how the work should be done. I have spoken with a few, who wanted me to address some "issues" with a junior member of staff. It was all around standards of work, poor efforts and lack of initiative. One manager was happy for me to lead, but was happy to step in to take over should the colleague meet with resistance. Now, as I have done this (sensitively, I feel - two weeks ago he felt very supported and happy with the team) the junior colleague now feels that he has been micromanaged. When I look back, and reflect, I can see how this has been the result... and I feel awful. I had absolutely no idea that this was the case at the time as I was trying to help maintain the standards across the team. I foolishly allowed myself to get too wrapped up in this situation, completely blindsided by what was the impression overall.

How do I come back from this? I have been told many times that my standards are too high but this time I was told that they are unachievable. Maybe the way I think is so different, but I just see it as the job and a part of daily routine, just like anything else in life. I did not realise that I was having this affect on someone else. The junior member, as I said further up, felt that the team was great, that he was enjoying the role and was happy with the levels of support from everyone but went out of the way to thank me for helping and being supportive.

I feel sick to my stomach that I did this. I am truly sorry but I don't know how I make this okay again after this.

Any advice? Please be kind, I am feeling rather broken and shattered at the moment, I have turned in to my own worst enemy.

Thank you.

Can you break it down a bit?

Junior colleague (with whom there were identified issues in standards that needed addressing) was managed by you and felt supported - you did a good job addressing issues.

But then senior manager stepped in and now the junior feels over managed.

Is that right?

If so, how is that your fault/how did you micromanage?

Interested in the replies. I could have written this myself except the junior member complained, while I thought I was doing a good job.

Talk to them, get their feedback and most importantly LISTEN.

There is no point beating yourself up as you can't change the past, but you can't be open to their feedback about what you could have done differently to help them reach the necessary standard without feeling micromanaged.

@NoSquirrels I am sorry - head is really scrambled over this.

Yes - something went wrong (I still don't know what to this day), where they were very off and when I tried to address it and speak to him it was met with pointblank rudeness and attitude. This then was escalated to the senior (not by either of us, a member of another team who was around at the time, but did not intervene), who is very relaxed as a side note, and it was then that I found out that they had felt micromanaged. It was then that I started to reflect on everything and looked up the meaning of micromanagement (heard of it, but has never been a problem before so did not know the true meaning of the word) and the elements of the term could ring true. These were done under the premise of my manager asking me to monitor these things, rather than a true micromanagement attitude. Or at least I felt.

I think I am just feeling rotten with the micromanager label that I have now been given, or at least fed back that is what the junior feels/thinks.

Isn’t it much more likely that a junior colleague with identified and acknowledged poor standards is just being a difficult bugger and trying to blame you instead of focusing on pulling their own socks up?

It doesn’t sound like you’ve done anything wrong to me. Why do you think ‘micromanager’ fits this scenario?

I don't mean to be dismissive but... So what? "Sick to my stomach, broken, shattered, my own worst enemy" because one, junior, person thinks you're a micro manager? That is a massive over reaction!

Firstly, is it fair feedback. Secondly, how can you approach them, if you feel you need to, and apologise. Thirdly how will you approach it going forwards.

Frankly, rudeness and attitude is worse than micromanaging. I would feel a bit bad for a bit but it's hardly a hanging offence ...

Just learn from it, apologise to the junior member if it’s appropriate and learn from it by not micro managing again.

Op I'm a terrible manager and I just don't do jobs anymore where I have to. Like (I suspect) you I have really high standards (that compromise my work life balance) and I can't work out the edges of poor performance/doing your job and no more. I'm brilliant at developing enthusiastic willing learners, terrible at the rest. Just reflect on your experience and learn for next time.

You addressed an issue of underperformance and are now being met with a poor attitude from this employee.

It's great to be liked as a manager but if you need to be liked, and are willing to overlook poor performance in order to continue being liked, this is not helpful.

I wouldn't get too caught up in the micromanagement accusation, as in don't assume you actually did it. Take a step back and really reflect on it - what was your part and what was their part in it all? Were your actions actually unreasonable? What caused them to turn against you?

If you are asking someone to up their standards it's not uncommon for them to respond with accusations of bullying etc, especially if they have had their feet up for a while and no one has challenged them or raised the expectations of them.

Many a manager will have encountered this when moving into a new team. I've just moved into a very well established team who have had their feet up for about a decade and don't want to be scrutinised. My remit is to get them delivering something (anything...!). I am an experienced leader with a good coaching style and I support people to get results, I also have high standards I expect people to at least try and meet (the effort is more important to me than the outcome though).

You wouldn't believe the stuff they've come out with - apparently it seems I'm a micromanaging draconian megalomaniac, stupid to boot, and I have no idea what their team is for. They keep going to my manager with petty gripes, luckily he sees what's happening and backs me up. I've not even started really, what set them off was asking for details of the projects they are supposed have on the go and details of their key stakeholder relationships.

The root of it is that they're quite happy with the status quo and getting paid for doing basically nothing. They were very friendly until they realised they couldn't see me off and I meant business.

You’re being over-sensitive. Junior has been rude to you in a professional setting. You’ve done your job. You should be the one having a word with the junior about communicating properly, surely? Once the air is cleared review what levels management they need.

@Dragonskin - thank you, duly noted. I will see how things go next week. I will definitely do that.

@LordEmsworth - I appreciate that. I guess it's because I have always been a giver - I give people my time, I put myself out for other people, I try to help others before helping myself without any fuss (doormat, if you will) and I have always stood by treat others the way you want to be treated. So for me, this is kind of a big thing. I would hate to know that I have caused someone to feel that way. When I also looked up the meaning, I found lots of articles describing micromanagement as similar to bullying, can hugely affect MH and I am NOT about that. So I feel horrible, knowing I have potentially treated someone that way. Sorry if it does appear a bit OTT. I am very new to a midway management role.

@BattenburgDonkey - thank you. Definitely will do.

And if you had loads of feedback over a prolonged period then my reply would have been different... But one person, who - it sounds like - needed a kick up the bum... so minor!