Bossy job share partner

[JobShares]

Just looking for some help in approaching this. I work in a job share, and I am finding my partner a bit difficult. Up until now I have ignored it, but she keeps messaging me on my days off and I do find it a bit stressful.

She keeps telling me how to do my job and I know it probably sounds a bit petty but I find it so irritating - things like ‘a reminder that X needs to be done by the 3rd October’ when I know this and I have never once missed a deadline.

I don’t mind being told relevant things about where we are up to but the way it is phrased is always so pompous and officious it takes away enjoyment from my days off.

How would you nicely go about raising it, bearing in mind I do have to work with this person!

I think you could ask her to not message you on your days off. Ask that she puts things into work email and you will see them when you get back. Reminding her that she is not your boss is a bit trickier.

just don’t reply to her. She’ll soon stop.

I think you can mute messages from a specific person or maybe just block her on your days off. I wouldn’t reply to any of the unnecessary ones.

All of the above! Ask her not to message you on your days off and then mute/block her on those days.

I would also mention it to your line manager (assuming you have a decent one) and say this is what you will be doing.

You've let her dominate you. Put boundaries in place.

Have a shared document with her and your line management where updates are entered.

Hopefully your line manager being on there will still get being so domineering.

Having a shared task list is another option with who has responsibility for which?

Tell her not to contact you on your days off

If she's continues, block her

My job share partner oversteps boundaries on roles. My boss chooses not to see it, despite it being professionally raised. It's very tricky.

I had this issue. I didn't reply. It eventually stopped.

Awful, I hated job sharing for this reason. You've got to set boundaries as pp say, put out office on your email etc, tell her you'll be unavailable as you are busy when not on duty. Tell her to save up her issues and if she wants, bring them up in meetings. Bossy cow.

@RandomMess That's a good idea op.

I can actually imagine this making her worse as she might 'show off' how she's the proactive one keeping on top of everything (as she sees it) to your manager. I would talk to your manager, though.

You say you've ignored it up until now - how long has it been going on for? Has she been in the role longer than you?

I would also suggest a shared document. Sensible; you can access it when you need to and there's a record of what's been done and what needs doing. Messages aren't efficient for this as you might miss things.
She can't be bossy on a document and you won't be bothered on your day off.

I run virtual teams and we're always handing over to each other. No-one would put up with endless messages. You just log on and see where you are!

The thing is, she has to see the benefits of a working document in a shared space otherwise why would she do it? You have to give her the incentive first.

I would a) ask your line manager to remind you both that you shouldn't be contacting each other outside of your working hours and stop replying
Depending on what you think is more likely to work with her I would also consider:
b) you share diaries and let her see your reminders in there so she doesn't feel the need to manage you
c) start doing the same to her re issuing "helpful" reminders and see how that goes down
d) have a review where you openly talk about what's working well and what isn't for each of you

I'd find a way to sit down and sort ground rules for the job share.

Use a shared calendar and get her to just put endless reminders in it instead of emailing. She’s obviously desperate to preserve the job share - maybe it didn’t work with your predecessor & she feels under pressure to ensure it’s all in order.
alternatively - just tell her to stop.