360 degree feedback for manager

[lunepremiere79]

My manager is quite senior and has asked me for 360 degree feedback - this is where you spend 30 minutes answering in-depth questions about her management style, wider behavior and personality traits. I've been working with her for the past 2 years and now moving to another position in the same company, but over the past year it's become increasingly apparent she is a narcissist who says one thing and does another behind your back, does only the things that promote her own agenda, lies, and engages in shameless self-promotion, frequently changes goalposts etc etc etc As a result, my relationship with her is extremely strained to say the least, especially I've felt that I've been working so hard and pushing myself yet never received any appreciation for my efforts. The question is do I provide her the feedback now? How honest can I really be? Everything should be anonymous, but I just know that it never truly is and there are always ways to find out or guess who the person is that provides this kind of feedback. I am really tempted to say the truth, especially as I am moving teams, but as I am staying in the same company I am a little wary. Would would you do?

Sorry no idea, I am in the same situation with someone I suspect has a personality disorder.

I guess the question is - do you think that she will change because if it is a fundamental personality flaw and/or she is a narcissist she isn't going to change. But providing her with negative feedback is only going to put you in the firing line - especially if you highly doubt she will be able to take it constructively.

I'm of the option that sometimes choosing peace is the more appropriate and healthiest thing to do. We don't always need to DO something when we face a problem. Walking away from it is action enough.

I agree that you may want to choos ethe path of least resistance and say very little.

Something I might do if moving on is politely decline to contribute.

I answered honestly and management hated me.

I would stick with the most bland placid statements that could be applied to anyone. No point causing trouble for yourself as pp said she won't change.

I am not a fan of 360 feedback when people are identifiable, and if people haven’t received robust training in giving and receiving feedback. However, that aside, describe the actions not the person, and give examples. So “when X moved the project deadline it was difficult to achieve the goals. Next time it would be better for the team if …”

Use “when you do X, it makes me feel Y” statements. So “when I don’t get regular feedback, it makes me feel that my work isn’t valued.” It’s a good way to describe your experience, and it’s harder for the other person to get defensive about because your feelings are your feelings.

Avoid using “always” or “never” because the person then scrapes for one counter-example, and weakens your point.

I’d be reasonably honest about anything that has the slightest chance of making things better for your replacement, as long as you feel comfortable.

Thanks all! All good suggestions. I still need to think about my approach, possibly being as bland as possible with my responses might look better than not responding at all, as then this would get picked up

I would be honest as long as you can qualify the judgements that you make.
With that type of personality the process is going to be pretty pointless as they will just disagree/know better but at least you've done your bit to help.
UNLESS there's a F2F follow up & you will have awkward silence....then be bland and non-commital.

I would ask HR how anonymised it is. Do they report the qualitative feedback or just the quantitative? Are there a minimum number of responses they need before reporting (i.e. at least 3 so the numbers aren't outing).

You can also say things like "it is generally considered that..."