Hi, this is the first time I’ve ever posted but really
feel I need to get this off my chest and possibly get some outside perspectives.
I’m a marketing manager, I’ve been at the same company for about 7 years, have a decent wage work from home and relatively good maternity package. However, the company has a completely toxic culture that has only gotten worse over the last couple of years. It’s sexist, there is no communication, the management is really poor and I have no progression opportunities. I’ve wanted to leave for a while but waited as we were moving house and TTC.
I’ve always been really driven to deliver the best standard of work and have had some really good feedback and built a good reputation over the years. we’ve recently had a restructure which has meant my colleague has become my line manager, there was no real process here, he was just closer to our previous manager (I’m a little bitter but understand I will be leaving to have a baby soon). I was also asked/advised to move to a different department which has a bad reputation as it would be a great progression for me, this has been absolutely awful as I now have no support or team to work with. All the projects I have been working on have fallen through because of reasons outside of my control so I have nothing to do or handover when my replacement comes in.
So all this has really destroyed my self esteem, I’m feeling imposter syndrome set in and I almost feel like I’m in work paralysis. I just don’t know how to achieve anything on my own and starting to feel like I don’t know how to do anything at all. I know I don’t have long left but if I feel like this now what will I be like by the time I leave to have the baby. I don’t want to feel rubbish I want my confidence back. Plus the prospect of finding another job part time when I come back from May leave seems really unrealistic.
How can I get my confidence back?