How to help lost DD find a career.

[Imtoooldforallthis]

I've posted about my DD before but could really do with some advice. She so doesn't know what to do with her life. She is educated to cellege level and is hard working and conscientious. She has worked in retail which she didn't mind but low paid and unsociable hours. Got herself a job in sales that was for graduates only, did well but extremely high pressured and an unpleasant industry to work in. Then got herself another high pressured sales job but has handed her notice in after a week as she says it's not for her and doesn't want to waste their time. She can walk back into a retail job so I'm not concerned about her not working, but I am concerned for her mental health and how I help her going forward. Whenever I see these posts people always ask what are her hobbies and interest, but she doesn't really have any. Wondering if she should look at working abroad but I don't know where to look, or should I leave well alone and let her get on with it.

Age?
and highest qualification?
and your relationship?
lives with you?

If you’re able to facilitate it, I’d pack her off on a gap year to figure shit out.

This is not something anyone in our family has ever done, where does she look?

Age 21, college diploma in business studies and yes lives at home.

My local council offers apprenticeships in different areas of the council. Would she consider something like this? It would be a different type of office experience to the sales environment

I wish I had the privilege to have gone on a gap year! Would’ve been great if my parents could’ve afforded to pay me to travel the world and get drunk by the beach. How the other half live! @Imtoooldforallthis Which college qualifications does your Dd have? Would she want to go to university to earn a higher qualification which would open up more opportunities for her?

Would she consider a business degree?

A gap year is a poor suggestion IMO as it is often a waste of money and delivers limited skills, it is just a way to fill a year before making decisions or getting on things already planned.

I would firstly accept this is not your problem - your DD is 21 and has a safe living situation and a decent business qualification, in a time when employers are desperate for good staff. Your DD has to learn to decide for herself.

If it was my child I would spend a lot of time helping them to a) see that 'not knowing what to do' is very common and b) the huge range of optons that exist.

Maybe you and your DD could work together for a month or more looking at what you can see in terms of courses, volunteering, apprenticeships and training schemes. Get your DD to work out does she want to stay in your local area or move away, does she want more qualifications or get earning etc? Does she want something with accommodation or something with a decent wage and start setting up home?

Tell her she is only 21 and it doesn't really matter what she does so long as it is something - they can never take the skills away once learnt. One very effective way to work that out is to just do something and see what you like/dislike about it. Then move on. Then move on. When young it is normal to have jobs for short periods as they are entry positions and you quickly master what is needed.

Does she like retail? I loved it when I was a student.

She could look at some of the big brands who often run school leaver / management training schemes / career path training etc. McDonalds is a great example of this.

The hours are unsociable at first but many of these schemes can lead to head office roles that tend to be more 9-5. A friend of mine did this after college at 16. She's quite senior now and doing very well.

What’s she good at? There must have been a subject she excelled in at school. Something she was keen to do. Go in that direction.

I'd not fall into the trap of what does she like doing.

This is one of those lines that not many people say to boys and men and helps further the gender pay gap. As most hobbies people like don't transfer to well paid jobs in the real world.

Have her look into how much certain careers pay, the requirements and the job descriptions to see what she is drawn to.

Then work out how to get there.

She obviously has good people skills if she did well in sales. I think there are lots of opportunities available in HR with the potential to do and earn really well. Might that interest her? Could she find a starter HR role in which she could be trained up, or alternatively get some initial qualifications to put herself in the position to make applications for that sort of work?

Whenever I see these posts people always ask what are her hobbies and interest, but she doesn't really have any

Everyone is interested in something, whether that’s shipping every weekend and fast fashion, watching reality TV type shows or spending all their time on social media. All those things can be turned into jobs that lead to fulfilling careers if you want them to…

There are resources online about how to get into HR - This confirms that a degree is not necessary and tells you what qualifications can be obtained and what to think about

Estate agent if she’s good at talking to people?

I did a gap year, working abroad. You don't necessarily have to be privileged or rely on parents to fund it.

What are her interests (there must be something she likes doing)? does she want to work in an office-based role or not? does she want to work in a public-facing role? are flexible hours important to her?

I think she should have a think and list with what her basic requirements would be for a job and see what career could suit her based on that.

If she enjoyed retail she could go for a manager training programme with one of the big retailers.

Alternatively she could study for a degree and continue to work part-time to finance that.

Others have mentioned apprenticeships as another option. Learning a trade (electrician, plumber) might be good too as there is a shortage of women in these professions and they can be really well paid.

Maybe also have a look at careers where there is a big shortage of applicants (teaching, healthcare and so on) and see whether there is something she fancies doing in these fields. Also the police and NHS are always recruiting for roles.

She could try working through the national careers service Skills Assessment and Skills Health Check tools to see if any particular strengths etc stand out and/or work through other online career aptitude tests.

If you're able to support her financially then I'd suggest she tries work experience in as many sectors as possible. Volunteering is also an excellent way to try different things.

FWIW both of mine have taken career paths that I'd never have thought they'd excel in. Exposure to different sectors is a great opportunity

At 21 she needs to work things out for herself. A gap year is only the answer if she is motivated to sort out all the logistics herself.
I'd help her look at apprenticeships or retail management programmes.
BTW, I wouldn't suggest HR for someone who likes working with people. It's about admin, policies and protecting the employer.

I had a gap year and worked my way around Australia, I save up and bought a round the world ticket and worked in Melbourne and Sydney living in hostels for backpackers. It was a wonderful year of being young and meeting people. I worked really hard and managed to travel a bit too. It will give her confidence and worldly experience. The year work visa were quite cheap and are I think reduced at the moment

www.australia.com/en-gb/youth-travel/working-holiday-visa/faq.html

I did a number of different jobs in my early 20’s while I was figuring out what I wanted to do. I think it is really common to feel a bit overwhelmed with choice, but a better way to look at it, is that it is really fun trying different jobs to see what you like. It’s fine to make a few false starts. Doing nothing is crippling though.

if she likes retail, then point her towards an industry that is flourishing in your local area - she could look for sales or marketing traineeships in large companies. Working for a large or an international company might be a fantastic idea, if possible, as there are often opportunities to move around in different departments and teams.

she may not have hobbies but what about wants and desires? Does she want money to have her own home or car one day? Does she take an interest in social injustice or the environment? Is she all about her image and personal care? Something, somewhere motivates her. And if absolutely nothing motivates her then she should do the default thing: train to become an accountant! Opens up loads of doors and pays well, provides skills that will always be useful.

If she isn’t saying “I want a gap year, I want to travel” then I wouldn’t push her that way. Unless she has an idea herself, she will likely just fritter time or money and stay unsettled and uncertain about her future. Ideally a gap year proves you can motivate yourself, manage your own life independently to navigate a path in the huge wide world, and get the confidence to step out and take some risks, show you how very different life could be from the one you’ve known. It shouldn’t be foisted on you by a parent, that’s the wrong approach.

I don’t think it’s uncommon to feel that way tbh - some of my friends were lucky enough to have a vocation while others of us just drifted around a bit until something stuck!

After working in retail and hospitality as a teen I was clear I didn’t want to have a public facing role. I did a year teaching English overseas and then temped in various junior office roles which was a really helpful way to experience different types of organisations and offices. It took me well into my 20s to figure things out but I’m now in my 40s in a senior role in something I’m passionate about.

I think at 21 I’d mostly leave her to figure it out for herself but encourage her just to keep trying and not worry too much if she doesn’t have all the answers yet.

I would find a careers advice coach with experience of young people. They will do an IV with her, do some semi-useful tests and narrow down some areas. It’s very hard to do yourself. She’ll feel a lot better once she knows the possibilities.

If she has retail and BUsiness diploma then one option is to do a year or two working in hotels abroad. Find out about the chains that have management tracks, so if she wants to build up, she can, if she doesn’t it’s just a good year off.

Or just a normal gap year in Aus, as PPs suggest.

Don’t let her go back into retail, unless it’s somewhere with a management track, it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t know what do you yet, but it’s better to build some deeper experience.