Feeling flat about work

[ilovebrie8]

I am in a contract role. Me and another person. I’m menopausal have brain fog, low energy, hard to concentrate etc. My boss is male, foreign & in another country. Wouldn’t know what menopause is if it slapped him in the face , less than zero concept. Anyway I was told on Friday my role is ending they are keeping the other person on but don’t have work for both of us and can’t apparently keep us both. Other person is male. They seem to favour him quite blatantly too , so in some ways I feel am better out of a negative situation where I’m being treated like second best. He is busy, & won’t share work. I struggle with insomnia again menopause related so I start at my usual time each day am not late ever. My colleague he’s on at all hours 7am, 11pm. Feel i’d no chance as he works all hours. So they are happy they pay him for a day but he’ll carry on working regardless. They get more work for free as we are paid a set amount per day. It’s made me feel meh! 😕

I'm sorry. What is it you're asking? How is "brain fog" affecting your work? Perhaps try HRT? I'd hire the other person if they did overtime. Them being male is irrelevant.

I'm in an industry (finance) where overtime is standard. Like it or not it comes across well when someone isn't wedded to office hours.

@ZenNudist oh wow how utterly rude! Like it or not ...that last sentence of yours ...is just shocking.
Given that I’ve been working 30 plus years I don’t need that pointing out....
Menopause is affecting my work, it’s a huge thing if you’ve not noticed. This week on TV a high flying exec was interviewed she had had to quit her job and was back living at home as she couldn’t function....
So many women quit their jobs due to menopause that’s a fact and it’s being spoken about much more widely now than it ever was....some enlightened companies now have policies in place in fact.

Sorry to hear this. Some workplaces are brutal and those who can dedicate most hours simply will be favoured. What industry are you in? Are there employers who would value your particular combination of skills without requiring long hours? Public sector perhaps? Can you identify your most marketable skills and develop or emphasise those?

@BeetBoxer yep it is brutal and the other person logs in at all hours anything ranging from 4am to 11pm. So they will be favoured. That’s just isn’t doable for me. I’m in finance, I need to think about what I do next as this has knocked me. Thanks for the pointers I need work out a plan it’s not easy and right now I feel low with it all...I can see why middle aged menopausal women just give up and leave work especially when lots of places take no account of this ...

@ilovebrie8 I empathise massively with you!
I'm not in your industry, but a TA is a special needs school.
I'm in the midst of menopause and it's brutal! I'm on HRT and it's not helping. Insomnia, brain fog, aches, irritability, the works. My relationship is suffering and so is my mental health.

Sometimes we just need to sit down and evaluate what we want or need to to do next. What would you like to do?

@Runaround50 thanks for your lovely message. I’m in the same situation am on HRT but it’s not helping. I used to have a photographic memory and now it’s shot to pieces! Insomnia, aches etc I am a shell of what I was before menopause hit.
It affects everything work, home life, mental health and you are no longer the same as you were.
The thing is I don’t know right now what I would like to do but feel I can’t go on as I am...in the workplace now I’ve got colleagues 30 years younger it’s a different world.

I recommend working for the Civil Service. You will find roles relating to finance. Recruitment focuses on transferrable skills and age discrimination is not allowed. Many departments offer very flexible working hours with no expectation of unpaid working hours. My department has a 'menopause cafe'. Menopause does affect work performance (i.e. ability to memorise new work) and energy levels, no question.

Sorry but you’re a mug then. In what world is it a good idea to work long hours when you’re not getting paid for them? There’s silly then there’s silly….

Being ‘wedded’ to your contracted hours - you know, the ones they actually pay you to do - shows you can manage your time and your well-being effectively. People who are online at 11pm at night clearly can’t manage their workload and have zero work/life balance, neither of which are impressive or good traits in the workplace unfortunately.

@Caroffee oh how fab a menopause cafe...yep it does 100% my energy levels are not what they were side from forgetting stuff 😕. I’m in private sector at moment

@spareroomtears my sentiments exactly you’ve cheered me up! I was stunned when I read @ZenNudist post . Well said 👏

@ilovebrie8 yes I agree with totally. Menopause changes you completely. I'm also in a setting where colleagues are largely 15/20 years younger than me. My energy levels are lower and frankly, my enthusiasm has dwindled!

Can you afford to go part time in your new role? Retire early? Live off savings for a bit whilst you decide what to do?

@ZenNudist trouble with being available for work 24/7, is that you can fall foul of burn out quicker. No one is indispensable and if you drop dead, they will scoop you up and replace you ASAP.

P.s @ilovebrie8 which Hrt regime are you on? I'm on patches and coil. Hopeless at the moment 🙄

@Runaround50 i’m on patches but I’m moving to pills which are a higher dose.

Same for me my energy & enthusiasm has gone significantly and colleagues are much younger....
I can’t afford to retire but am thinking to cut down and see if I can find a part time job.
Hope things improve for you, it’s tough

Bit of an update after being pretty shitty towards me and mean telling me they don’t need me they’ve now asked me to stay on....however it’s a poisoned chalice as they want me to take on work that is a nightmare! Different to what I was employed for. Am going to say no thank you as it’s very complicated and takes months to learn...I’d literally be dropped in it...they really don’t treat staff well and were nasty to me a few weeks ago...I’m just not good at saying no